To not want him at my friend's birthday?

[Georgiegirl23]

So I've been invited to drinks to celebrate my best friend's birthday. We are old school mates and she is very different to my current circle of friends. She mentioned that other halves were invited - problem is my OH can't stand her (she is a lovely girl but can be a bit loud and obnoxious especially when she's has and drink).

I assumed he wouldn't want to come so I mentioned it to him - turns out he wants to come and I've no idea why. AIBU to just ask him not to bother? He's not very good at hiding when he's annoyed or not having fun and there are people going who I haven't met before. I don't want him to be grumpy and show me up!

Yanbu but not sure how you are going to sell it to him...

Definitely NBU. My partner does this sort of thing sometimes. Maybe try to find out why he wants to come to something he probably won't enjoy - sometimes my DP just wants to join in and avoid looking antisocial (on these occasions he comes along and it's usually fine) and sometimes after a 'second chance' ("Well OK, but it will DEFINITELY be X, Y, Z...are you sure? I don't want you to feel you have to...") he decides not to go.

How long have you known her versus him? Because I would be wary of a man who didn't like my BF. And she's loud and obnoxious too!

Mrs Terry, I've known her since my early teens and him since university. I know what you mean but I do understand why he doesn't like her - she can be quite self absorbed at times. We have grown apart over the years and have little in common now but have still retained that 'best friend' label despite our differences. I'm not really bothered that he doesn't like her, as she doesn't live nearby and I don't see her often so it doesn't tend to be an issue - and he gets along with my other friends perfectly fine.

That's reassuring. If you were already feeling less than fabulous about her.

How did it all go in the end?

Why has she invited "other halfs" FFS.
A girls night out should be exactly that.

Loud and obnoxious wouldn't be someone I'd want to spend a lot of time in the company of so I can seen why your oh isn't keen on her.

Is there a chance he's said yes to going because you've asked him and he thinks it's what you want?

I probably wouldn't of even mentioned that partners were invited tbh. As I think it's quite tricky to ask him not to come now

MrsTerry it's not for a couple of weeks yet! I think I'll go with that, UtterIdiot. He'll get over it.

Doh! Have you spoken to him yet?

Not yet. Far too hungover yesterday to deal with potential drama.

Why has she invited "other halfs" FFS. A girls night out should be exactly that.

It isn't a 'girl's night out', though?!

It's birthday drinks, which presumably her male friends as well as her female friends will be invited to. Sounds totally normal and polite to me to extend a birthday do invitation to partners.