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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Quitting Facebook?

79 replies

BusyHomemaker · 30/12/2016 21:24

Has anyone done it? Did you regret it?

I check it way too often and it's not fulfilling but I fear I am addicted to it. It's a great way to keep in touch with distant family and friends but surely there are other, healthier ways to do this?

Has anyone a healthy relationship with Facebook who could pass on some tips/wisdom? How do you change from being a Facebook junkie to restoring healthy balance in your life?

I do realise it's unreasonable for a grown woman to be stressing over this!

OP posts:

ellesbellesxxx · 31/12/2016 10:15

I came off it for 2016 and won't be reactivating.
I kept finding that it was so impersonal.. I wouldn't be told anything about some friends lives.. but would be expected to know from fb. Also people going on about people not liking their pictures (put up every day!) I couldn't keep up.
I feel so much better for it apart from a few instances.. e.g:
One friend had a baby and I didn't know for two weeks because they didn't tell anyone individually just put it on fb!

LadyFlumpalot · 31/12/2016 10:32

I'd love to, but I use it to promote my business - if anyone knows a way that I can only log on as my business page - I'd love to know. You can merge a personal page into a business page but it would wipe the page info and posts and replace with my personal information.

mydogmymate · 31/12/2016 12:01

YANBU. I deleted it about a week ago cos I can't be trusted not to cause an argument. Last week I caused a row with my daughters business rival for no particular reason than I was in a bad mood ( I suffer from mh problems, but that's no excuse). I had a couple of sleepless nights over it, feel really guilty. I deleted it as a exercise in damage limitation.
Who'd thought I could get so upset and stressed over a stupid app? Delete, it's not worth it, even though it's all my fault

IneedAqueenMortificadoNickname · 31/12/2016 12:03

I did this recently. I deactivated my account and deleted the app from my phone. I don't even miss it. Although have missed invites to a few family events as no one remembers to text me

HappyLittleCloud · 31/12/2016 12:10

LadyFlumpalot I know someone who has an artists page and they have set up a blank personal account (no friends) to use as the admin. All the activity is done on the artists site only and the personal account is never used. Would this work for you?

TisConfusion · 31/12/2016 12:29

I got rid of it 4 years ago. I don't miss it at all.
The things I hated about it outweighed the things I liked. I knew everybody I had on there in real life yet many of them came across completely different on there. People project an image they want others to see, but it's not real. Plus I didn't want to know what everyone had for breakfast or every single waking thought of theirs etc. But yeah it became a sort of addiction and it made me feel insecure about my own life until I realised that people are just showing what they want people to see, ie the most flattering photos, talking about holidays, how perfect their children are etc.

Since coming off facebook I've found that I have lost touch with some people but that's okay by me as I know who my real friends are and I still talk to/see them. There are other ways to communicate. Facebook isn't everything.

KoalaDownUnder · 31/12/2016 12:34

It's hard to explain but I found some peoples' "facebook persona" quite offputting, even if I liked that person in real life.

Exactly this. I've constantly found myself reading friends' status updates and reflexively thinking 'Ugh'. Or 'Cringe'. or 'Bollocks!'

I realise that says more about me than about them, but I just find it all so disingenuous. Facebook posts are all about crafting a public persona. I find it toe-curling.

I actually told my psych that Facebook was making me hate all my friends, and she told me to deactivate it!

lasttimeround · 31/12/2016 12:38

I use it to stay on top of things happening in wider circle of friends but I'm careful not to compare lives. I hide people who destabilise me have the occasional person blocked. And if someone has big news I call/message them. I also use the groups for events and social things. I find it really useful like this. I also find its a great detector of bullshit -people who post loads of self involved guff. It's easier to spot on fb and then I know to stay away in rl..

LagunaBubbles · 31/12/2016 12:38

I dont get these threads at all, they usually turn into people acting superior because they have "de activated" FB or such.... Facebook is just a social media site, it doesnt enhance my life, I enjoy it as well as lots of other sites and, it wouldnt enhance my life not to use it etc etc. You can still have FB and actually talk to people who mean something to you to, theyre not mutually exclusive.

ShebaShimmyShake · 31/12/2016 12:39

I hid everyone who was boring and annoying (mostly introverts who use Facebook to tell 300 strangers how introverted they are 25 times a day) and now it's fine.

AllotmentyPlenty · 31/12/2016 12:47

I am interested to know how many people who have come off it for good are originally from abroad?

I have lived in several countries and love Facebook for enabling me to keep up with friends and family scattered around the world. I actually can't imagine a tool which would do it better for me.

In the last year, a friend who has a similar background to me (has lived in four countries and has family in six others) developed breast cancer. She found that Facebook was the best tool for her to update people on her treatment, feelings, etc, as it meant she only had to put it out there once and wasn't pushing it into people's mailboxes / message boxes - it was there if they wanted to see it and not if they didn't. She was very clear that was her choice and it worked for her.

If my life were much more local though, then I can imagine Facebook might have a lot less worth.

So, if you are someone who quit Facebook forever, have you lived in many other places?

HappyLittleCloud · 31/12/2016 13:13

I haven't seen anyone acting superior here, just giving their experiences of quitting facebook, which is the question that was asked. If facebook works for some people then that's great, it just doesn't work for me and several others here.

Most of my friends are in other countries and in other places in my country. Not all of them are on facebook and we seem to manage OK just as we did before facebook.

surferjet · 31/12/2016 13:16

FB is 99% attention seeking shite.

No ifs no buts.

PuppyMonkey · 31/12/2016 13:18

Nobody ever seems to get the irony of starting s thread on MN about quitting FB because it's taking over your life.

heron98 · 31/12/2016 13:19

I think people blame Facebook for a lot. It's a great tool to keep in touch with people and organise things. If you use it too much - check it less. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. It's you to blame, not the website :)

gamerwidow · 31/12/2016 13:21

I use it mostly to keep an eye on the mental health of my sister. It's easier to read between the lines of what she posts then to rely on her to tell you when things are going tits up. I rarely post myself and follow the rule that if you wouldn't be happy shouting it out In a crowded room it doesn't belong on FB. I agree removing the app would be a good way to reduce time spent on the site.

OrcinusOrca · 31/12/2016 13:33

I completely deleted it earlier this year. Had been on it 9 years. People seem to stalk other people even friends and I don't like all the this time x years ago junk. Want to live my life without feeling like people are spying on me, so it's gone.

AgathaMystery · 31/12/2016 15:17

I came off it 4 years ago & have no regrets. My main motivation was that it was super boring & obviously I didn't want any photographs of my child on social media.

I have missed out on some lovely events that long term friends have arranged. It made me really sad but they pointed out that Facebook was 'the future' & said it was too difficult to text me to arrange something. Considering we used to arrange meeting up via postcard or from phone boxes this made me really really sad. I guess I'm lucky I'm not spending time with such morons.

I do love Instagram & admit I spend far too much time on my phone.

YouHadMeAtCake · 01/01/2017 13:53

plenty this is my struggle . We don't live in our home country and have lived in a few countries so we have friends and family all over. That's why I find it hard to delete but I do want to. I've now deleted the apps from phone and iPad. That seems to work already as I'm not able to check it immediately.

70ontheinside · 01/01/2017 14:24

I think I will delete the apps now, wasting far too much time!!!

Mandiba · 01/01/2017 15:25

Quit 5 years ago aswell and have no regrets. Its nice to meet family you haven't seen for a while & genuinely not know what's going on in their lives & have a catch up. If you ask me FB is just one massive platform for people to judge others and and be judged. I also don't trust FB privacy polices. They must have an amazing database of all its customers!! I know very few IT people who signed up to it. Co- incidence maybe but I doubt it..

LadyFlumpalot · 01/01/2017 20:32

Happy little cloud - thank you, thays a good idea!

Babyroobs · 01/01/2017 21:32

I've found myself getting really churned up at work today over colleaugues who were meant to be working shifts this Christmas and New year but rang in sick and were then tagged on fb on new years eve nights out!!. I worked extra shifts over Christmas and new year to cover them while they partied. I can't help thinking if I didn't look on fb I would never have known. I'm seriously thinking of ditching it.

PippiLongstromp · 01/01/2017 22:56

I originally come from abroad, but have stopped looking at FB, deleting the app on devices etc. I don't know if it is to do with you as a person whether you can handle the superficiality of the medium and simply just take the good from it. For me, some harsh statements on there cut quite deep, and the final straw was seeing that one of my friends from abroad was actually in England but she hadn't told me! That really hurt and I didn't want that in my life anymore. I'd have probably found out anyway, but it was the way I saw a post from her on FB 'sitting in such and such cafe with such and such having fabulous lunch'...

Aroseforemily · 02/01/2017 00:00

I've deleted it this week. It wasn't adding anything to my life, in fact it was just making me cross. It took ages to find out how to delete it rather than disable it.

www.facebook.com/help/delete_account

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