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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Quitting Facebook?

79 replies

BusyHomemaker · 30/12/2016 21:24

Has anyone done it? Did you regret it?

I check it way too often and it's not fulfilling but I fear I am addicted to it. It's a great way to keep in touch with distant family and friends but surely there are other, healthier ways to do this?

Has anyone a healthy relationship with Facebook who could pass on some tips/wisdom? How do you change from being a Facebook junkie to restoring healthy balance in your life?

I do realise it's unreasonable for a grown woman to be stressing over this!

OP posts:

MistyMinge · 30/12/2016 22:50

I need to do this. I'm an addict. I spend far too much time scrolling through my bloody phone. I tried it once and lasted about a week. I think rather than giving it up I need to get out of the seriously bad habit of constantly checking it. In all seriousness, I worry what the next generation are going to be like.

EvenFlo2 · 30/12/2016 22:54

I close down my account on Christmas Day. As PPs have said, I found it to actually be quite damaging for my mental health. I noticed that when I felt low I would go onto FB more frequently, almost like a self destruct thing.
I plan to say off it for good now.

Original poster

BusyHomemaker · 30/12/2016 22:57

I agree with PS that removing the app is a must - done :)

Baby steps, ha ha.

OP posts:

Original poster

BusyHomemaker · 30/12/2016 22:58

*PPs

OP posts:

RebelSoldier · 30/12/2016 23:05

I quit FB but read MN a lot.....

PosiePootlePerkins · 30/12/2016 23:09

I have never been on it for the exact reasons Honeyandfizz describes. I know of several people who post every last detail about themselves and their wonderful lives and I have no desire to make comparisons.
I have recently joined a few lost cats pages on there, literally no details about myself except for my name and details of my missing cat, and have had friend requests from people I know irl, also suggestions of people I might know who could be friends. I find it bizarre and strange that so many people have 'found' me even though I have given virtually no details of myself.

Ankleswingers · 30/12/2016 23:10

I've never been on FB. Not my thang but I am very slightly addicted to Mumsnet.

Does that count?

OhFuds · 30/12/2016 23:16

I quit mine at the start of December, I spent far too much time reading about others lives and felt everytime my DC's spoke to me i had my phone attached to my hand. I set up a new messenger that wasn't linked to my FB so only people I contacted 1st could send me a message or those already in my contacts. I don't miss my newsfeed at all but I am missing my groups and seeing updates from school/nursery/kids hobbies etc.

I find I spend too much time on MN now so I need to get that sorted. .

SleepFreeZone · 30/12/2016 23:16

I quit it as an app and only access through the laptop now. I also do not post. I mainly use it to access information re. local groups and tradesman etc who seem to use FB now instead of websites.

I do scroll down my newsfeed and do still get a sense that everyone has a better/more interesting life than me but that's my own insecurity talking s s nothing to do with the people on my friends list.

minesapintofwine · 30/12/2016 23:16

Do you what OP I wouldnt take baby steps. I would just do it. Right now. This second.

I thought about it too much, it was easier to just delete my account, and so liberating!

I spend too much time on mnet now.

minesapintofwine · 30/12/2016 23:18

Do you know what? It should say

busyboysmum · 30/12/2016 23:26

I deleted my account recently from my phone so I have to go to my laptop to check it. I'd got addicted to checking it all the time yet it was really boring. Full of middle aged women raising glasses of prosecco, selfies all over the world so they'd be somewhere amazing and all you could see was their big face looking exactly the same as it always did and a bit of background of the actual place, people's kids in parks and pictures of food.

Why was I do bothered to look at that? Plus the biggest posters on there are all trying to sell me something like make up, jewellery, health shakes etc... or small business owners raising their profile.

SpookyPotato · 30/12/2016 23:27

I've been off it for a year now and I love it. No more constantly checking the newsfeed, comparing my life, feeling jealous, wondering why I didn't get many likes, only showing the best of my life etc... All ugly emotions that I just don't feel in real life so I think it does something to people, and not in a good way. I felt guilty about being on it around my toddler (though not mumsnet ) I feel free and happy now that I don't know the minutiae of peoples lives, and my own humble life is more enjoyable as I appreciate what I have, not what others have. I've kept the messenger though for keeping in touch!
Social media is a funny old thing.

Coconut0il · 30/12/2016 23:48

I deactivated a few months ago. My real friends noticed straight away. Haven't missed it at all and feel much better for not having it.

HappyLittleCloud · 30/12/2016 23:50

I did several "culls" of friends over a few weeks until I was down to only about 20, then I deleted it altogether about 5 years ago. I didn't need to know what everyone was doing throughout the day or what stupid games they were playing (no matter how many times I tried to hide the "games" updates they always came back).

I can honestly say I haven't missed it in the slightest. There are other ways of keeping in touch with people who are important to me and I find my contact with them is more enjoyable without facebook.

It's hard to explain but I found some peoples' "facebook persona" quite offputting, even if I liked that person in real life. I was conscious that perhaps some of my stuff was annoying to other people too and I didn't want friendships to deteriorate that way. Does that even make sense? Ha!

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 30/12/2016 23:56

I find it boring so only have a quick scroll through once a day.

I do however spend far too much time on here. Which I find is much more disruptive than Facebook because I become really engrossed on here and find myself getting really annoyed and ranting at DP when I read goady threads. Should probably cut down.

HarryDresdensLeatherDuster · 30/12/2016 23:58

I have to admit that I find these sorts of reactions bizarre! How can FB impact your life so much?

Surely it is there for you to dip in and out of when you want to; to keep in touch with people you don't see much; to share your or other people's good (or sadly, bad) news; to watch funny videos of cats/dogs etc. Can't you just skim past the things you have no interest in? How can the number of 'likes' you get for something actually affect you?

Either use it or don't. It's up to you.

OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay · 31/12/2016 00:03

I'm part of the generation that grew up with FB, which makes it both harder and easier in different ways.

I don't get any of the angst about missing out / bragging because for better or worse I'm just used to this way of interacting, but on the other hand it's just such an integral way of communication between me and my friends that I can't ever imagine not having it, even if I wanted to.

I'm interested to see how it will evolve over the years, and how the way we use it will change.

100milesanhour · 31/12/2016 00:12

I have also deactivated my account just recently, I kept messenger but the only person I message a lot is someone I could text instead.

I also deactivated my instragram account.

I was finding stress in things that didn't concern me. I noticed a particular woman stopped liking my pictures and it fuelled my anxiety even though we were at each other's child's birthday parties during the summer and just after school started back. When those feelings came, I knew it was time to go.

TaggySits · 31/12/2016 00:29

Perhaps it is partly a generational thing Olivia, as I certainly don't know very many people under the age of 25 and possibly 30 who are not on it.

My concerns and reasons for not having it are:

I'm a private person and don't want people seeing pictures of me or reading information about me (I know I can set high privacy settings, but still)

I really don't know why anyone would really be interested in reading about what I'm up to anyway - have they really nothing better to be doing than finding out what I had last night for my tea??

I don't care about reading about the details of other people's lives.

There's an expectation to update regularly. I couldn't be arsed with that.

What if my opinions and views change from what I posted a year ago? People can still read my historical posts and might not realise I don't particularly care for Gangham dancing anymore...

It takes up a lot of time for some people. A lot!

There's pressure to get likes and people feel unpopular if they don't.

People (even subconsciously) compare themselves to others and feel disappointed if their life does not match up as well.

It promotes superficial friendships that are pretty meaningless in RL.

People are sucked into advertising for companies - I don't want to be their lackey just because I might win a year's supply of tomato ketchup.

I'll stick to MN instead thanks!

TaggySits · 31/12/2016 00:30

Sorry OP, that essay will probably kill this thread stone dead...

hyperhypermum · 31/12/2016 08:52

All I know that since Smart phones came along (8 years?) I seem to have far less time and I am so much more distracted - I hate it but don't know what to do about it?? At least pre Smart phones you had to wait until you could access a laptop/desktop. And pre-internet what the hell did we DO with ourselves?? Were a lot more productive I bet!

I did manage to come off fb for about 6 weeks earlier this year (deleted the app) but the trouble is it's not just fb, I just spent more time on other sites instead! I also find it sad that my kids are addicted to screens too and spend little time doing the imaginative things I enjoyed as a kid. At least Pokemon Go gets them outside but even that can be the source of massive rows and meltdowns - they were fighting over it in the park just the other day when they should've been admiring the wildlife!

There are things I DO like about fb, such as being able to keep losely in touch with distant friends and family (in reality I probably wouldn't message or phone most of them but it's great to see how they're doing). Some of the groups such as school mums are handy and I've got some great ideas from other people's posts for places to go.

Therefore, I don't want to stop fb, mn etc completely but want to use it more productively and not waste so much time. Surely there's someone out there who has managed this? If so, please, please share

WipsGlitter · 31/12/2016 09:19

We are doing a family digital detox for January.

No tablets or phones in the evening. I'm deleting the Facebook app and mumsnet . I need Twitter on my phone for work.

I've recently unfollowed loads of business accounts and hidden people on Facebook.

It's not because of "drama" on facebook but more the sheer time wasting element of it. And the "just a minute" to the kids when looking at drivel.

chocolateworshipper · 31/12/2016 10:08

I don't have the app or messenger, and find that it doesn't rule my life

CarrotLegsWanted · 31/12/2016 10:13

Quit 3 years ago.

Feel that actually it's just attention seeking in the main. Or showing people what you want them to see.

I talk to the people who are important to me.

Couldn't be arsed with fb now.

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