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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want access to my money

75 replies

SaveYourTearsForYourPillow · 30/12/2016 13:32

Myself and Dp are trying to sort out finances. He wants to open a new account for all out bills and rent to come out of each month. That is fine however he wants the account in his name.

He wants us both to put in a surplus amount in each month to ensure all bills are covered. AIBU to say no to this if I do not have access to the account?

OP posts:
RipMacWinkle · 30/12/2016 13:32

YANBU

Absolutely no way

EveOnline2016 · 30/12/2016 13:33

Do you have a a history of being rubbish with money.

TitaniasCloset · 30/12/2016 13:33

No!!! It can't just be in his name, get a joint account ffs! Yanbu.

treaclesoda · 30/12/2016 13:33

I would agree with you.

What is his reason for wanting it in his name?

Oldbutstillgotit · 30/12/2016 13:33

Why does he want it in his name only ?

YellowDinosaur · 30/12/2016 13:33

No fucking way should you agree to this. Why can't it be in both of your names?

Spam88 · 30/12/2016 13:34

Um, nope?

Sounds like a perfectly reasonable plan if it's in both of your names though. What reason does he have for only wanting it in his name?

Supermagicsmile · 30/12/2016 13:34

Agree fully. It's either in your name
Too or you're not paying into it!

LimpidPools · 30/12/2016 13:34

No, you are not being unreasonable. Why would that not be a joint account?

Unless there's some huge back story about you spending all the bill money on fripperies.

What's his reasoning?

Ilovecaindingle · 30/12/2016 13:34

Def bloody not!!!

Grumpyoldblonde · 30/12/2016 13:35

Nope, nope and NO way

Fartleks · 30/12/2016 13:35

Why does he want that?

Feelingworriednow · 30/12/2016 13:35

I would want to know what benefit he sees in only having one name on the account. There isn't one from a financial point of view so it must be a personal benefit.
No way would I agree to this. If you can't see what's going on he could be using the surplus for himself.

e1y1 · 30/12/2016 13:35

No YANBU - and DO NOT be putting money in to an account that you have no control over whatsoever.

FannyCradock · 30/12/2016 13:35

No way.

SaveYourTearsForYourPillow · 30/12/2016 13:36

I'm not the greatest with money however I am not in debt, and have always paid my rent and bills in time.

OP posts:
snapcrap · 30/12/2016 13:36

No way

expatinscotland · 30/12/2016 13:36

Haahaa! I'll bet he does. Erm, no.

HecAteAllTheXmasPud · 30/12/2016 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oldbutstillgotit · 30/12/2016 13:38

Even if you are not great with money it is unreasonable to expect you to pay money into an account that you have no access to. YANBU to say no

hooliodancer · 30/12/2016 13:38

No, never.

The best thing we ever did years ago was open a joint account to cover bills. We both had direct debits in to it of equal amounts. We also opened a joint credit card for all food and house purchases, with a direct debit from the joint current account to pay it monthly. No arguments about money ever again.

SaveYourTearsForYourPillow · 30/12/2016 13:40

Thanks everyone showing dp this thread as he thinks I'm being over dramatic.

OP posts:
pinkblink · 30/12/2016 13:40

Is he quite controlling in general?

newmumwithquestions · 30/12/2016 13:41

Is there more to this OP? You say 'sort out finances' - have you built up debts?

If not then it sounds very controlling - open the account in joint names or not at all.
Even if you have built up debts but are trying to sort it out I'd say open it in joint names.

SaveYourTearsForYourPillow · 30/12/2016 13:42

The reason why we are doing it is because I start a new job in two weeks which will massively change our financial situation and double the amount of money we have coming in.

He isn't controlling usually just a bit shortsighted.

OP posts: