Court and everyone all wrong and I am right

[AtSea1979]

But how?

How is it possible that so many professional can be wrong and merely Joe Bloggs (me) be right? How on earth do I convince a judge that all these experienced professionals are actually wrong?

My DS has been abused my his DF, DF has played a blinder and everyone believes him and the more people who believe him the more other people think they must be right so they believe him and the court bundle grows with more 'evidence' and professionals saying XH is right and DS must have made it up.
Regardless of what I believe, I have tried to stay out of it, I have supported DS (11) but have never asked DS questions or advised him just reassured him that I'm here for him. XH is claiming that I put DS up to it, that I coerced him in to making allegations. Professionals say DS's account of things is inconsistent, in my mind that is more proof that he's being honest, if it was water right I'd be more suspicious that it was rehearsed. So far we have an SW, police, XH friends, CAFCASS and recently a psychologist all beleiving XH. The psychologist didn't even give it a chance, she just read everyone else's report and decide DS must be lying and filed a report saying this. I'm back in court next week and know the judge is going to think this highly paid, experienced psychologist must be right.
How can the justice system be so flawed? Totally lost faith is honesty prevailing

Yes it's dreadful advice to suggest she needs legal advice and fast .... Clearly I've lost the plot completely

I understand you want support but you really shouldn't be discussing a case, that could go to care proceedings, online
Others have said this.
If it's found (which is could be - people do look however anonymous you are ) it will not work in your favour.

0nline, what an awful situation for you. I'm sorry.

No Brummie the advice you offered yesterday that any court order is likely to go unenforced. Terrible advice.

0nline agree 100%. The whole 'I believe you're thing is misguided and counter productive.

Taking allegations seriously, supporting people before and after they come forward when they give evidence and listening to someone's account in an open minded manner and reserving judgement, yes. Automatically and uncritically believing any account put forward is dangerous.

Whether people on this thread 'believe' the op or not, we can't listen to the other sides of the story and form a judgement. Regardless of the veracity of the allegations it is important that the op is able to defend herself properly and is clued up about how the system works. That's more important than whether a bunch of anonymous strangers believe her or not.

Thanks for the reports about this thread. We will get in touch with the OP off the boards.

GilMartin. That was my experience from both sides. Nobody forces anything to happen no matter how many orders you get. Care orders I acknowledge would be different kettle of fish and you wonder just how it's been able to get this far without proper legal representation. Madness.

The op hadn't mentioned the threat of care proceedings when I posted just to clarify.

I agree with Online too.

Without going into too many details, a colleague met in our cafe a mother whose give her a story about how her children were taken away because she raised her voice in front of the health visitor when she had depression.
Colleague was all ready to go and fight her part with her.
Thing is I know there was a heck of a lot more without going into details.

But if she posted on mn, she would sound very plausible and people would be up in arms.
Sympathy for her situation, yes. But every tine someone says to this lady "yes, you're totally right, it's only the evil SS keeping you away unfairly" it justifies everything in her mind and puts her further from seeking the help she needs so she can move forward and potentially be able to have contact with the children again.

Think you've all gone off track. We're not talking about believing OP, we're talking about believing a child, aren't we?

we're talking about believing a child, aren't we?

in the context of this quote

We believe you, except when you post a thread on Mumsnet and then we obviously don't?

No. The child is not posting, for obvious reasons. The parent is.

We just shouldn't be discussing it at all.

Thank you every one just for being there, for listening. If you don't want to believe me that's fine but I believe DS, there are subtle things he says and does that make me believe him. I can't answer all of your questions without risking outing myself and this case.

Happy New Year everyone. It's hard because everyone is talking about a new year, about new beginnings, being happy, taking control and I'm just not feeling it, it's so hard when your life is in the control of someone else.

Know how you feel Atsea Our final hearing was January too. Have you thought about what I suggested before, requesting postponing on the grounds you have only had a few working days to prepare? And then going to CAB and getting as much support and help as you possibly can? Won't say happy new year to you, not at all appropriate, but thanks for saying it to us

Yes I will ask for an adjournment but I suspect I'll just get accused of trying to stall things.

AtSea, just wanted to say Good Luck, whichever day this week it is

Thanks vapours it's good to know I'm not totally alone in this. Will update if I can.

Handholding here too Atsea1979

Thank you. It's so scary but I'm determined to continue fighting for my DC rights in the midst of their biased agenda.
Tonight I ponder whether courts have gone too far the other way and now over favour the father no matter what.

Tonight I ponder whether courts have gone too far the other way and now over favour the father no matter what.

Not as matter of course, no.

AtSea it won't be long now. Our final hearing was in December, a couple of weeks before christmas, and I can remember not feeling christmassy at all - til we got the result then it was probably one of the best christmasses ever.

@AtSea1979
How did it all go? I know this is a zombie thread but about to embark on similar journey and I wondered how thing have been for you.

@TherapyClient things worked out in the end. I ended up spending tens of thousands of pounds which I should never of had to do and if I didn’t have the money (mine and lent from family members) then I would have lost DS and he’d be living in hell right now. DS’s DF now has no contact and hasn’t for a few years. The judge ordered that DS could choose whether he wanted contact or not (he didn’t and hasn’t ever waivered from that).
DS is like a different child, so much more confident and smiley etc. Feel free to PM if there’s anything else.

Thanks for the update. So glad that you've had finally s good outcome and Ds Is doing better!!

I’m sorry for the traumatic experience for you and your DS and family. I’m glad things worked out.