To not know what to do (siblings issue)

[BreakfastMuffin]

Ds (12) doesn't get on with dd (9.5). He hates dd playing pop music, and basically doing what she likes as it's annoying him (eg watching on TV what she likes, playing games on ipad with sound etc). He gets so upset that he starts crying about it and says he'll just stay in his room all day so he doesn't have to hear her. She's quite a tolerant child, would wait for her turn to watch TV etc. He just complains all day that she's annoying him. I'm sure we're not the only family out there with similar issues but what do you do as I'm getting fed up of arguing?

Get her some ear phones for the ipad but he'll have to suck it up when it's her turn with the TV.

Welcome to life with teenagers. Get some gin and buckle up for the ride.

All siblings argue it's normal.
That said if he is being unreasonable please do not tolerate it or ask your DD to tolerate it. You will be raising an entitled man child and also teaching your DD a v dangerous lesson about accepting poor behaviour.

Is there room for compromise? Music on for so long then a break from it. Is the music loud?

In many households daughters do tend to get indulged more than sons. Is she genuinely, hand on heart, at fault? If not then do something to strike a balance - headphones, or maybe you get 1-1 time with both kids regularly away from the house.

1. Welcome to the start of the teenage years. They need their own space.
2. At that age, younger siblings can be a right royal pain in the arse unable to do anything right.
3. Younger siblings can get away with murder (not that I am bitter still some 30 years later).
4. Remind your DD she is not to blame (but you'll find in about 2 years she will be equally intolerant of him and his actions).

Remind DS to be tolerant though.

It's probably his hormones making him tetchy (crying about an annoying little sister playing pop music seems a bit much at 12, assuming no SN?)

Maybe share out time so each has times when they can control what happens in shared areas, and the other can go in their room at that time if they don't like it?

He's getting to the age where he'll want to spend time in his room to avoid everyone and everything, so maybe he's just getting a head start.

Staying in own room is fairly normal once puberty hits, as is not getting on with siblings.
Don't pander to it - crying? Seems extreme.
Be sure you are being openly and scrupulously fair to both of them - I found rotas, etc for jobs helped rather than asking whoever was near, or more co-operative on the day helped as they could see the evidence in front of them that it WAS fair.

Is there an issue with your DS's hearing, perhaps? He may be finding sounds at a certain register (like squeaky pop, or thrash metal, whatever she plays) painful for some reason.

Otherwise, it comes down to reiterating the old share-compromise-negotiate-tolerate mantras until you've bored them into submission.