Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To tell my Christmas guests how angry I am that they didn't thank me?

78 replies

howhardisittosaythankyou · 28/12/2016 21:37

My family stayed for three days.

I fed them (think nice food, champagne, nice wine).

I cooked for them and cleaned up after them. I've spent all day today washing bed sheets and towels, washing up etc. I work full time so back to work tomorrow.

While they were here I took them out for a meal (cost £100) and I picked up the bill. They didn't offer me any money and didn't thank me. I wouldn't have accepted any money anyway as it was my treat but would have been nice if they'd offered. Or at least thanked me.

They left today without thanking me for my hospitality, they just said nice to see you, bye etc.

It's not the first time similar has happened.

I'm furious.

Would I be unreasonable to confront them?

OP posts:

Scarydinosaurs · 28/12/2016 21:39

It's off to not say thank you- do they usually not say thank you?

LagunaBubbles · 28/12/2016 21:40

Who is it? What kind of people don't say thank you, dont get it.

Original poster

howhardisittosaythankyou · 28/12/2016 21:40

Yes not the first time it's happened.

OP posts:

Original poster

howhardisittosaythankyou · 28/12/2016 21:40

My parents and adult siblings

OP posts:

SleepFreeZone · 28/12/2016 21:40

I would say just don't do it again. It's not worth all the bad feeling by confronting them and they'll probably spin it anyway and make you look as though you are an ungracious host.

Just make sure you please yourself next year and enjoy ignoring any hints for a repeat performance.

Scarydinosaurs · 28/12/2016 21:42

In the past have you ever mentioned their lack of manners? Even a passive aggressive "you're welcome"?

MistressMaisie · 28/12/2016 21:45

FGS don't do it again.
Looks like you are seen in the family as the capable one who can do all this at the drop of a hat, also the well off one who loves treating flashing the cash everyone!

HecAteAllTheXmasPud · 28/12/2016 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toffeeboffin · 28/12/2016 21:46

I think you need to mention it.

Crispbutty · 28/12/2016 21:47

It should have been them taking YOU out for a meal. How rude and ungrateful.

Raines100 · 28/12/2016 21:51

Yeah, are you sure they didn't say anything that means thank you without saying the words? 'It's been really lovely. We've thoroughly enjoyed it.' Sometimes that's nicer than trotting out, 'Thank you for having me,' like a 6 year old on a play date.

rainbowstardrops · 28/12/2016 21:55

Do they say things like
had a lovely time
it's been great
been wonderful
etc

My family do this without going over the top thanking me. Maybe yours did too?

If not then they're bloody rude and I'd probably have to say something

FatOldBag · 28/12/2016 21:58

I haven't consulted debrett's, but I believe the traditional response is to shout "you're welcome" at the point you were expecting a thank you but didn't get one. ...You're welcome.

Giselaw · 28/12/2016 22:01

Are you this formal with your parents when they've hosted you for the holidays in the past?

DontEatTheSweets · 28/12/2016 22:01

I think it can just be a family thing. DHs family don't say thank you but I know they are appreciative.

You relatives are thoughtless but maybe it's just because they feel very comfortable and at home wth you.

I think you should have asked them to help or to bring things if you had wanted them to.

Honeybee79 · 28/12/2016 22:01

Yanbu. How rude! Don't host again.

Pollyanna9 · 28/12/2016 22:02

I can be heard shouting this regularly whilst driving, when allowing something through and they don't thank me .

Heathen4Hire · 28/12/2016 22:02

My dear parents do this. Or try to. I don't put up with it. If they are staying over, they are told to help out. Or I may as well tell them not to bother coming over, eating my food, drinking my drinking, dropping crap all over very the show and expecting me to clear up after them. Do fuck off.

Cherrysoup · 28/12/2016 22:02

What fatoldbag says! Is there one of them you can gently ask if they had a nice time? If not, I just wouldn't host again, miserable lot.

formerbabe · 28/12/2016 22:02

I'm furious on your behalf...that's terrible.

Yes, I'd absolutely tell them.

category12 · 28/12/2016 22:03

What sort of outcome do you visualise getting from confronting them?

JustSpeakSense · 28/12/2016 22:04

How awful that you are so taken for granted. I would not say anything, but would not invite them again. They definitely do not deserve anymore of your hospitality.

londonrach · 28/12/2016 22:04

Why didnt they pay for the meal?

greenfolder · 28/12/2016 22:05

Id just not do it again

Xmasbaby11 · 28/12/2016 22:05

People show their appreciation in many ways, maybe not the exact words.I guess you were very aware of it and expecting a thank you, and they said nothing nice?

That is rude and especially about the meal out.

My family have just been to stay for 3 days and I honestly can't remember if they said thank you as such but their appreciation was very clear, and my mum texted thanks later. That's what I'd expect.

Flip

1 2 3 4