AIBU: The threads that annoy you most

[user1471517900]

Like those where the OP writes hardly anything and expects others to entertain them.

Now you go.

with what has become a political movement inhabited by women with pretty robust views

Yes, how dare those silly ladies have opinions

The hmm face is really all you need on MN generally

The - delivered in a patronising and somewhat arsey way - is also quite satisfying.

I'm always amazed at the amount of NCing that seems to go on - how do people keep up the silence for so long?

TheCompanyOfCats beat me to it:

The virtue signalling 'give me a gold star' AIBUs. I.e. when the post about somebody doing something horrendously racist, sexist, etc and then ask 'AIBU to be offended by this?'

'I'm having a really shit time with my 6 yo DS. He's been expelled from school and set fire to the house. Please help'

'Hmmmm I've been and advanced searched your other threads and you said your son is 7yo and you live in a flat.'

Like those where the OP writes hardly anything and expects others to entertain them.

I agree. Especially if it's about something dramatic that is supposed to make us worry about them. And then they don't come back for ages, or they do but they ignore questions and continue with their cryptic one sentence posts and drip feedy shit.

Look, you sound like you've got a serious problem. if you want help then either spill it and let us know what we are supposed to help with, or fuck off. I'm not in the mood for attention seeking guessing games.

Yeah, that's exactly what I meant add. What did you think of the rest of my post - any of it ring true?

The massive drip feed ones

"Is my dh a cunt? He went on a night out with his friends!"

Yabu x a million

OPS update "but he keeps me locked in the cellar and forces me to eat liver for three meals a day with 10mins Internet access a day"

Errrrrrr

The Christmas present ones.
The my MIL/Mum is a bitch but I have to have Christmas Day with her ( no you don't), and if you really do...just suck it up and escape.
And the child free wedding ones....been done to death....

Threads with the title "Talk to me about ". That's just as rude as 'discuss' imo.

Threads where the OP is clearly looking for a pat on the back - Today I saw an old lady fall over in the street. I rushed over, called an ambulance and held her hand until it arrived. Then I accompanied her to hospital. Did I do the right thing?

Cue tons of posts saying... "You're such a lovely person hun"

Oh do fuck off!

Saw DAunt the other day. Don't tell me that's quicker.

The swearing on Mumsnet is laughable. It is not big and it is not clever.

All of the

"I literally just spat coffee on my screen"

"snorted all over the keyboard"

"laughed at that until a little bit of wee came out"

Over comments/posts that were not even particularly deserving of a half smile.

I have read some incredibly funny things on here over the years. Things that have really had me laughing like Muttley. But they have been few and far between. I think some people think that the above type responses are 'standard MN responses' and just mean "that was mildly amusing".

Or they have a really shit sense of humour and need to get out more.

The long ones where the op does use paragraphs.

Yes! Especially when they don't use paragraphs or any punctuation.

"London is such a dirty/ dangerous/ polluted/ busy/ overpopulated/ expensive/ bla bla bla city. How lucky am I to live in the sticks, yay!!??"

"Do you think I should allow my 16yo to go there for the day by himself?"

Scary stuff.

Dare I say it... smoking threads. The most boring of them all.

People who say they have AIBU hidden but are never off it.

All of the"I literally just spat coffee on my screen" "snorted all over the keyboard" "laughed at that until a little bit of wee came out" Over comments/posts that were not even particularly deserving of a half smile.
I have read some incredibly funny things on here over the years. Things that have really had me laughing like Muttley. But they have been few and far between. I think some people think that the above type responses are 'standard MN responses' and just mean "that was mildly amusing".
Or they have a really shit sense of humour and need to get out more.

I think of this as metaphors, like the one you use. The one about Muttley. Same thing. Just a way of conveying a mood.

I was coming on to post Worra's example!

The obvious fishing for praise threads.

I had AIBU hidden for ages, but unhid it in the end. I still only have about ten topics not hidden though.

Some people never venture out of AIBU at all which seems very odd.

echt except that I do sound like Muttley when I'm trying to conceal the fact I'm laughing at the internet

The thing about the am i pregnant ones is a raft of people will always come along to say 'yes! I didn't get a positive pregnancy test until after my 12 week scan! And I had bleeding just like a period, it was implantation bleeding!'

Then some poor sod is sitting there convinced that they're pregnant, having just done a negative pregnancy test or with their period on full flow.

"Babies with earrings" threads. They always go down well.

But what about my carrots?
I'm still crying.
Mil wouldn't cook carrots for Christmas. The bitch. I have a DH problem because he won't confront the carrot issue.

I think there should be a rule that you can't post 'Am I pregnant?' until you at least have the test in your hand. None of this 'I can't get to the shop til a week on Friday' nonsense.

ghost and echt - my nickname is Muttley for these very reasons. Actually, the full title (fortunately rarely used) is 'Muttley The Phantom Wheeze-Bark'. Sexy.