The more I think about it the angrier I am

[Hedgehog80]

A teacher at dds school has continuously minimised and dismissed her very real and serious health issues. This came to a head before the end of term with phone calls where she accused dd of possibly being "just a school refuser" and needing to "get over the hurdle of mornings" or to use "mind over matter"

Dd has since disclosed that said teacher removed her from the medical room during designated rest breaks(advised by hospital), made dd feel awful by blaming her for her drama groups failures as she was "not there when needed" and because dd wanted to book to see the school counsellor she was told "if you're ill that day you've taken away another's girls chance of receiving counselling"

The icing on the cake has been a malicious ss referral by this woman. Not just to ESW for low attendance due to illness but because she didn't get notification of the most recent diagnosis as quickly as she wanted (we were waiting for the clinic letter but had told her and given specialist details) so referred as had serious concerns. She had also said we hadn't given reasons for absence but I have email proof that I have each time.
Obviously ss have to do their job and the sw seems nice and I'm sure it'll be fine as there are no issues but this teacher.......
She said to me twice spitefully with a smirk "oh...but you're already known to ss.....aren't you ???!"
Well yes because we get direct payments you idiot !

AIBU to formally complain?

Yes yes yes- definitely complain. Very loudly and to the highest possible level

Some people should clearly not be in that profession.
I would tell the SW exactly what has been going on in school, or better still your DD should tell her, (and her Health Care Professionals).

Could your HCP write to the school supporting your daughter's needs to take regular breaks?

They already had in respect of the pre existing conditions but somehow the paperwork had apparently been 'lost' for the new diagnosis this teacher was impatient to say the least despite me informing her of the diagnosis and giving her the details she wanted the letter and when didn't get it that fortnight called ss

Clinic letters/letters to other professionals often take up to a month it's always the case but she would not wait

I rarely use this word as it is truly horrible - but that teacher is a c*nt.

Go to Ofstead, contact the school governors - do whatever you need. This woman should not be working with children if she can't keep her personal feelings out of a professional situation.

Yes, you can ask to see the referral paper, and unless limited exception applies you are I think entitled to see it. FOIA would apply I believe.

I would make a formal complaint, and copy in the head and governors.

Sounds like this teacher has a real attitude problem, and I feel for you and your daughter - it is enough to have a medical condition that affects your school attendance without someone going out of their way to make life even more difficult.

However, it sounds like you are handling it well. Personally, I would have gone ballistic - some people just don't get the impact that health issues can have on attendance and it's not like you're choosing to take time off.

Just a thought does your Council have a social exclusions team, or could your hospital get involved? Our community nurse is very good at liaising with the school and will get involved if there are health issues that impact on my son's schooling, like attendance. It can help to take the heat out of the situation and sometimes information is more readily accepted if it comes from another "professional".

And clinic letters in my experience can take months for the hard copies to arrive. Teacher needs a reality check. And a big kick up the proverbial.

The school governors or owners would be the best place to start; I seem to remember that the OPs DD is at a private school so OFSTED wouldn't be relevant.

Have you contacted your local SENDIAS or equivalent? They're usually really helpful and will attend any meetings with the school with you if needed.

You need to start with complaint to the governors and esculpted after if no joy.

We had similar when DD3 was diagnosed with CFS/ME with one member of staff simply not believing that it was a real illness.

DD's consultant was brilliant and spoke to the teacher for DD and certainly put him in his place. Could your consultant step in for your DD?

I will find out who I need to contact, I just want things to be as easy as they can be for dd and this teacher is hell bent it seems on causing issues. Just because you can't always see something doesn't mean it's not real :( all her talk of just get dd up in the morning and into school is ridiculous and when I try to explain what mornings are like she comes up the school refuser rubbish !
Dd would love nothing more than to be able to get up and go in like her friends, she is by no means a school refuser

I'm a safeguarding lead in a school and social care referrals must be discussed and sent with consent from parent/s unless it is a case that the child may come to more risk or is being silenced. In this case, it sounds as if the referral should have been discussed with you first. Social care referrals aim to provide support to families who are in crisis, rather than being seen as 'taking your children away.' A referral is actually a 'request for support.' You are more than entitled to ask the grounds of the referral and I find that it is usual protocol for social care to discuss the grounds for referral very openly and honestly with parents anyway, xx

Legally, the school is obliged to make reasonable adjustments if your child has a disability, and that can and does include pre-existing medical conditions.

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/disability-discrimination-in-education/

It sounds to me like that teacher is bordering on harassment. And certainly acting inappropriately. Don't stand for it.

CFS/ME was the most recent diagnosis that seemed to cause the sudden uproar front his woman. Dd also has EDS, Pots, scoliosis and a chest problem (pectus) but the new diagnosis did not go down well at all and all that happened was she kept barking dds attendance percentage at her

She told me she was going to phone the education social worker, which she did and I assumed they had to due to low attendance. I spoke to them and sent them all the medical letters.
What I didn't realise was that she had also referred to 'normal' ss with serious concerns and from the conversation I got the feeling she doubts the diagnosis and was saying I hadn't provided ANY proof of anything ??? Obviously I need to see that in black and white though

Everyone else and im particular the HT have been wonderfully supportive. This woman is certainly the 'bad apple' she's only been there a few months....

So sorry you are having a tough time OP. The EWO (education welfare officer) will have picked up on your DD's attendance if it is below 90%. She will have raised it with the teacher. Pressure will be on the teacher to get it sorted - but she seems to be going around it the wrong way. She does not seem to have any compassion or understanding.
I see this from two sides. As a pastoral lead and as the mother of a child with 79% attendance. Luckily Ds's school are very good with why he is absent.
I would ask to see the referral as SS will not get involved (in my experience) unless they have strong evidence that they need to. I see many times when they should get involved but don't. You need to know exactly what the teacher has said.

I will request a copy of the referral. I'm very angry about the whole thing. It's just another thing tobhave to deal with when I need to concentrate on dcs and this teacher really should have thought before doing this

The teacher is a bully. Forward your records to OFSTED if the HT does not have the effect you want on the teacher.

Ask the HT to document his/her discussions with the teacher and responses of the teacher to the concerns raised.

I am with Piece EWO will be informed because of attendance but again they are there to help and assist. Ensuring your Dd gets the best education that she's entitiled to. Social care would not take it up, unless there is v serious concerns regarding harm to your Dd and these concerns would need to have been shared with you. I find it very strange a referral has been made. Absence, where the parent is in touch and communicating well with the school, is not grounds for a referral to Ss.

SUrely the Headteacher had to be consulted before a referral was made to Social Services?? What is the school's Safeguarding policy, I thought that a teacher had to refer to the person at school in charge of safeguarding and the Head as a matter of course.

At many school the head is not involved in day to day safeguarding - allowing the safeguarding person to take control as they are fully trained in all areas.

I am a deputy safeguarding lead and head teacher (designated lead) is always made aware. Only time I refer without her knowledge, is when she's off the premises and it's an emergency but we 99% of the time, still discuss it and she would then be made aware, as she is the DSL.

I too would of thought the headteacher would of been involved (or at least informed) in the SS referral. Seems odd that the teacher has taken this up alone and not even mentioned it to the head before submitting. If this dick of a teacher has done that then I'm sure the head will be pissed off especially if the head knows you and your DD well enough to know the truth.

Is she at a private school? Is the school really worth it especially if she has such a low attendance? Just wondering if in this situation and DD is old enough to maintain friends without the school setting if she would be better of being home schooled (if you can manage it... but I can't imagine working if she's at home ill so often anyway). That way on the days she can't do she can take it easy, and if she has a good hour she can make the most of it before needing a rest.