AIBU about OH friend...?

[Crowdblundering]

Been with OH 7 years. Getting married this year both have kids from previous relationships.

Had issues a few years ago we are happy now and had counselling for a while. I consider us close and supportive of each other (trying not to drip feed).

OH has friends from his home town, he says the husband is his best friend although in reality it's the wife, which I have never had an issue with. They have been friends since school. She is also friends with OH DB. Last year I found out from OH that this friend slept with OH DB some time ago (at least 10 yrs ago) while she was married and so is OH DB (am friendly with his wife) both spouses are unaware of this.

When is came apparent that I knew this, OH friend and BIL both got extremely arsey and friends husband blocked me on FB (which I presume was her - worrying I would say something which I wouldn't - but I was uncomfortable to know what had gone on).

OH does not find friend attractive (she is a size 24 and OH not into larger ladies) but while he has been home for Xmas she has been texting him every evening and texting him about quite personal stuff which I think she should be discussing with her girlfriends or husband - (anxiety, problems with the pill/periods, issues with her OH etc) and I feel she has a soft spot for OH (and his brother) and I feel that what he sees as friendship is someone with a bit of an agenda in a stale relationship wanting male attention.

I mentioned it to OH last night that it made me uncomfortable and how would he feel if I was texting a heterosexual married bloke every day when we are both off work and spending time together.

Do I just continue to ignore as I trust OH and do not have any concerns from his perspective - AIBU to feel irritated and a bit uncomfortable with the whole situation?

So she is his friend. Has been for years and now you have a problem with the friendship because she slept with your ohs brother?

Tbh I think don't trust your oh and yiu think there is something between them. You just aren't willing to admit it.

I too would have problem with my DH having a friendship with a woman who thinks it's okay to cheat on her DH with someone who is also married; i.e. Oh's db. She can't be a nice or decent person, so why would you want your DH to be friends with someone like this? I've cut off from friends myself who have cheated, because I don't want to associate with people with no morals.

Why don't you start texting her husband?

I don't know him very well and as I said I was friends with him on FB but have been blocked for some reason.

I don't think it's about her monopolising his time with you (as you say you'd be fine with a male friend) so I think you maybe do feel slightly threatened by her because she has form for cheating (so you don't trust her) and you feel that possibly your partner may have feelings for her, or why else would he spend so much time talking to her?

In my opinion they're just good friends. Most women don't overshare that sort of information with men they want to sleep with, it's not exactly flirty is it? She sounds like she just needs a friend at the moment and he's a good bloke who wants to be there for her.

I have a good male friend who tells me personal shit, I know his girlfriend's menstrual cycle better than my own. Just because we're a male/female friendship doesn't mean certain conversations must be avoided. We have no attraction to each other and we both love our partners, but we get on well. We've been friends forever, I've known him longer than I've known my husband and I'd be upset if anyone questioned my motives because we're not the same sex.

Not sure if this was said earlier but sounds like she blocked you from her husband's facebook to cover her tracks. Which seems quite sneaky /devious! As though she wants no means of communication between you and her husband while she has free reign to chat to your partner about any intimate detail she feels like. The double standards of that would bug me!