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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I confront my neighbours about their behaviour and what should I say to them?

38 replies

Busybee1234 · 26/12/2016 20:48

There used to be parking for approximately 12 cars in our small 14 house cul-de-sac. Most of us have families with young children and so those with more than one car try to be kind and park multiple cars outside of the cul-de-sac on the busy main road or on other longer roads in the neighbourhood.

Cue our new neighbours. Shortly after moving in they created a big sweeping driveway with space for two cars. Their driveway layout took a further 3 street parking spaces away and even though this was not great for our community as a whole it was their right to do so.

However, for the last couple of months they park their second vehicle ON THE ROAD IN THE CUL-DE-SAC instead of on their drive. So the picture is this: each day there is one car and an empty space in their drive and their second car gets parked in the already jam packed cul-de-sac. A couple of times now they've been outside their house and seen many of the cul-de-sac neighbours park in the middle of the street, unload armfuls of shopping and children and then dash off to go and hunt for another space on a different road. On these occasions they just smiled at or ignored us but never volunteered to move their street parked car onto the vacant space in their driveway.

WWYD??? I'm quietly boiling inside...

OP posts:

Candlestickchick · 26/12/2016 20:50

It's very selfish but you are more likely to get a constructive outcome if you politely explain the situation and ask if they would mind using the spaces on their drive, rather than confront them.

PossumInAPearTree · 26/12/2016 20:51

Just block their drive if they're that inconsiderate!

Did they get permission for the drive from the council do you know? I'd be checking. Drop kerb?

RichardBucket · 26/12/2016 20:56

I'd ask them politely to use the drive, preferably with one or two other neighbours there too so it doesn't turn into a one-on-one confrontation.

You'll get people saying it's their right to park on the road, but IMO it's an arsehole move when drives take up parking spaces.

Mari50 · 26/12/2016 20:58

I used to have this, neighbour had a driveway long enough for three cars, would park one car on driveway ( behind gate) leaving car and a half length free and park their other car in car park space in front of mine/neighbours house. This was fine until neighbours son was left unable to walk due to illness. They still do it knowing that next door neighbours ideally need driveway (one car length) and car space out front. Neighbours could get the space in front designated as disabled but because their son is so sensitive about situation they don't- arsehole across the road still insists on parking car in street space instead of empty driveway. Some people are just cunts. End of.

Original poster

Busybee1234 · 26/12/2016 21:03

Candlestickchick you're right, I phrased it wrong. My plan is not to go in all guns blazing. A polite way in is probably the best way to go but would you say AIBU to think that just the sight of multiple people struggling due to the way one is selfishly parked should be enough of a hint that it would be really kind to stay on one's drive? Surely that is what it is their drive is there for?

PossuminAPearTree I would be too scared to park over their drive. Yes they did get permission and the kerb has been dropped. Said neighbours often pull their second car halfway over their driveway and the dropped kerb so that there is too little space to fit another car onto our street.

OP posts:

JennyHolzersGhost · 26/12/2016 21:03

If they don't have a drop curb then it's not legal so you can park across it. If they do have a drop curb then I think they needed planning permission and you should have had the opportunity to object - ?

JennyHolzersGhost · 26/12/2016 21:04

Ah sorry cross post. Why didn't you object at the time then ?

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 26/12/2016 21:05

I'd ask whether the neighbour minds you using their empty driveway to park on, seeing as how they prefer not to use it themselves.

What do they do if they come back & the street is full? Do they fit both cars on their driveway then?

Original poster

Busybee1234 · 26/12/2016 21:06

OK, any witty one liners I can use as ice breakers? To be used in real life or not?

OP posts:

RichardBucket · 26/12/2016 21:07

...would you say AIBU to think that just the sight of multiple people struggling due to the way one is selfishly parked should be enough of a hint that it would be really kind to stay on one's drive?

You'd think, but sometimes people are just thick. Mine and my neighbour's drives aren't physically separated, and when I first moved in the way I parked made it difficult for them to get in because of an oddly situated lamppost (needs a diagram to explain, but take my word for it). I didn't realise until they pointed it out to me, and once they did I parked in a way that made it easier for them. I wasn't being an arse, just thick! Sometimes you see things and they just don't register...

maldini · 26/12/2016 21:09

Tbh I'm one of those people who thinks if they want to park on the road they can, I don't think it's considerate but I don't think they're doing anything 'wrong' if the road isn't allocated and their curb is dropped, might be worth an ask but ultimately they have the right to park where they want unfortunately.

lalalalyra · 26/12/2016 21:10

This annoys me in our street as well. One of our neighbours has a driveway that the previous owners used to fit three cars on. They have four cars - one for each parent, one that's shared between the two teenage lads and one that's a project classic car for the dad. The classic car stays in the garage and the rest of the driveway has been marked up as a half basketball court with a hoop concreted in so they park THREE cars on the street.

There's 12 spaces on the street. Every other house except us and them have a driveway for one car (they are on the opposite corner to us so they also have a massive garden like we have) and there are five houses that have no driveways. Yet they regularly take up 3 of 10 (there are two painted disabled spaces) spaces on street so the lads can play basketball out front so they can't be heard from their living room...

Original poster

Busybee1234 · 26/12/2016 21:12

JennyHolzersGhost I guess because we did not think that they would be taking up 3 spaces with their drive and thought that they would actually use it. And because we're all generally really nice and considerate people and thought they would be too.

LOL SantasLittleMonkeyButler. If the street is full they park both cars on their drive. But as one of them works from home at least one car is usually there and this gets parked in the street first and then the second goes on the drive. It is infuriating.

OP posts:

Candlestickchick · 26/12/2016 21:13

I completely agree they're behaving like dicks and it should be obvious to them that they are causing problems for the neighbours! YANBU they are

RockyBird · 26/12/2016 21:16

Diagram please? Don't want to be picky but it is mn law on parking freds.

witsender · 26/12/2016 21:17

They may well be, and just haven't twigged. People tend to have their heads down, plodding on through the days. If you mention it to them they may well just not have realised and be horrified that their new neighbourhood is 'boiling'.

But equally, they're not actually doing anything wrong.

SantaIsABastard · 26/12/2016 21:24

How did their driveway take away three road spaces? Just trying to picture it. Can we have a before and after diagram?

galaxygirl45 · 26/12/2016 21:30

If it is always the same car, I'd say the driver has issues with parking. We have elderly neighbours that often park on the road instead of their drive as neither of them seem to be able to reverse in a straight line.........!! To be honest I don't think either of them should be on the road, given the revving it takes to get down the road.....................

Original poster

Busybee1234 · 26/12/2016 21:32

Can't do a diagram right now but their driveway is next to a curve in the road next to another driveway and they really get their backs up and leave notes on people's windscreens if one dares to park within a whisker of their dropped curb. So the driveway takes up the space of 2 cars due to the width on the curve in the road and the dropped kerbs combined take up another space. Hope that makes sense. The note leaving behaviour suggests that they sadly don't just 'have their heads down' in a nice way.

OP posts:

Original poster

Busybee1234 · 26/12/2016 21:35

Galaxygirl, they definitely don't have parking issues as when the road is full on their return they seem fully capable to park in their drive.

OP posts:

Ditsy4 · 26/12/2016 21:38

Love the parking threads on MN! I would go and ask politely first and explain that this is the way things have been previously.

I thought of MN parking last weekend. Picture our village ...church, village green, school around the corner, busy popular pub, seven houses in centre and more on the way out on one side. Several houses have drive ways but our semi and the one next to the pub don't so we park on the road. Opposite the village green is room to park next to the church. I came home to find a car outside outside between our neighbours two and no one over near the church. Inconsiderate prat had parked because pub car park was full and likely couldn't be bothered to walk all of two minutes across from church. I had loads of stuff to unload too as I had been away on a course. It wasn't visitors to neighbours so must have been people in pub. I was livid.
I can understand your annoyance OP.

JennyHolzersGhost · 26/12/2016 21:40

Well sorry but the point at which to address this was when they applied for the dropped curb. That was when you should have said 'no sorry we're going to oppose this on the basis that it takes up too much parking space on the road which is already extremely tight'.
It's going to be a lot harder to challenge them now. I'd say your best bet is to seek backup from other neighbours. Do you have a local neighbourhood group? If not could you informally set one up? And then raise parking in a general sense for discussion?

maldini · 26/12/2016 21:42

I would have done the same tbh ditsy, I just park on the road that's closest to where I'm going if it's not allocated or got parking restrictions.

Itrynotto · 26/12/2016 21:47

Same as in my street. We have a neighbour who had a drive built which would fit 4 cars on. When they first had it done they parked one car on the drive and one on the street. A neighbour ended up writing a rude note and leaving it on their car. It worked and now all cars on their drive. We have had our drive done now so we are ok for parking but I feel sorry for some of our neighbours as we have one house in the street with 4 car owners living there, sometimes they have every single space in the street.

Eevee77 · 26/12/2016 21:49

I don't get it. All I can picture is there driveway - space for two cars, yes? And then are they not parking over their own dropped kerb? If they are what is the issue? Sorry finding it hard to imagine

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