to think MILs are public enemy no 1?

[cherrycrumblecustard]

Never knew my MIL. But AIBU to be angry she has a name I don't like,mass it's now my DDs middle name and this spoilt Christmas?

What has your MIL done?

What has your MIL done?

She gave us some money to tide us over so that we could afford the food shop, household essentials and our childcare bill, just like she does most months because we are very skint at the moment. Without mil, and my own mum, we'd be in serious debt and would have no way of getting out of it.

As it goes I get on ok with mine, her hearts in the right place but we are v different people. She has mellowed but I used to find her a bit full on and slightly needy. Hard to explain but like with all relationships its down to personality traits of both people. Its a lottery tbh.

Another little observation is as a DIL I have a lot more to do with husband's mum than my husband ever has to do with my mum. I feel like Mil's therapist some days where as husband hands me the phone after a quick "hi" to say "your mum's on the phone."

I'm a MIL and I do my best not to be a shit.

My ex mil is a strange, self-obsessed woman. She has behaved like an unpleasant, helpless old woman for as long as I have known her (since she was in her 50s). Now that she actually is quite frail, she's had to mellow a bit because no one will put up with her shit otherwise. I see her 2 or 3 times a year and can be polite and friendly for those few occasions. I lived with her for 15 years and it was hell.

Dp's mum is totally lovely. Complete opposite.

I actually hope to high heaves that I never have a son because of the bitchy threads and treatments I see on here about MILs.

High heaven, I mean but I suppose high heaves could work too!

Mine's fantastic, we get on great despite not really sharing interests. We're at the PIL for Christmas and she's just so welcoming and makes me feel so comfortable and at home. Just spent a lovely day with her and DS as grumpy FIL dragged DH off to football. I can understand how some people don't get on with their's judging by some of the stories on here though.

I have boys - when the time comes I will try very hard to be a great MIL but it's something I worry about!

My Mil (and FiL) are really nice. They've got their own little eccentric foibles bu they're still nice people.

They made a buffet and afterwards I spotted them taking leftovers like crisps from people's plates and putting them back in the packet.

Takes all sorts I s'pose.

Sorry, can't help - mine is absolutely lovely as is my FIL, they make up for my narcissistic parents and I really appreciate how kind and welcoming they have always been. I do realise how lucky I am (their son is pretty fab too)!!

My MIL is ace. Rubbish name which I think she would agree would be unfair to inflict on a child but other than that she's fab.

My MIL is lovely. We haven't always seen eye to eye - she hated me at first- but we have been through a lot together and we now have a huge mutual respect for each other. She isn't my favourite person in the world, but she is very generous, she tells DP off if he is being an arse to me,and she gets on board with all our parenting choices even if she thinks they are bollocks - like baby led weaning. She told us frankly she thought it was a trend, but when she looked after DD1 each weekfor free travelling an hour each way, enabling me to work, she dutifully did it the way we asked.

So as much as I may moan about her and did in the past, I'm aware it could be a lot worse!

I'm as far removed personality wise to my MIL as it's possible to be but we get on well. She can be overbearing occasionally but she does so much for us and our DC that I can only be thankful to have her in our lives. I speak to her more often than DH does, and we spend time together without him there. My ex-MIL was lovely, too, and even now we stay in touch and spend time together occasionally; she loves it when I drop by with the DCs.

I'm hoping that when the DCs get married I shall be the sort of MIL threads on MN are written about. It will be my absolute aim in life.

Mine is fab , she gets "it" and always has done when I was pregnant with dd1 she said " I will never offer advice or criticise you, your mother is the pushy type and my mil was the same so if you want me you know where I am " and she has stuck to it.

I don't want to ever have a DIL.

My MIL is nice enough and she and FIL have helped us out financially too many times to count - our situation is a bit fragile right now and I know if we need them they'll help, no questions and no judgement.

My DH also loves my mum so overall we seem to be statistically unusual on the MIL front, although I'm sure the 60 miles between us and our respective families has helped

Dads, now... that's another story...

I absolutely loved mine and miss her every day. So sad she died before she knew she'd be a grandmother.

BIL and FIL on the other hand...

Can't stand mine! She's a pest!

My MIL (& FIL) are awesome, seriously awesome. She has even come & taken my laundry (when I've been ill) returned ironed & folded. Has even pitched up & painted the fence! She knits wonderful jumpers for the kids and me. The woman is amazing, nothing phases, Nothing is too much trouble, I spent an age finding a good gift for her Christmas. She does so much and never wants a thank you. I am definitely blessed, and taking note for how I should be when I get to be the MIL.

In some cases, the MILs could be suffering from dementia. I say this seriously in the cases where thd MIL starts acting out of character or behaves in a way that is usual and unreasonable.

Mines fab. We went there Christmas day, very last minute, and she fed us, and looked after er cds while I put my feet up. We also went this afternoon to see other relatives and we were well fed and ds looked after again. She's having ds all day tomorrow.

I'm.not lazy, but heavily pregnant and bloody exhausted.....

I found the issue was she didn't understand her relationship with me.
I'm married to her son - that's it. We are related by marriage...

She is NOT my mother. She doesn't get to tell me what to do (neither does my own because I am a fucking adult).
Advice might be useful if it was something she had experience of.
Criticism (of everything) is not appropriate.

Her relationship with her son does not trump hers with him. She had a husband.

The worst bit of mine was she was never helpful in anyway. I'm not saying it was her job but really coming to sit on your arse when there is a 2 day old baby in the house is ridiculous.

Mine is bloody fantastic as is my mum I'm very lucky

Well mine moved 250 miles away a few months ago and was supposed to be coming to visit for 3 days this week. DS is 3 and misses her, she used to look after him once a week, he was beyond excited. Today she told dh she was staying 4 nights which is not convenient as we told her prior to arranging. Dh told her again, she had a hissy fit and is not coming now. I can't figure out who is BU now. Sigh....