to think MILs are public enemy no 1?

[cherrycrumblecustard]

Never knew my MIL. But AIBU to be angry she has a name I don't like,mass it's now my DDs middle name and this spoilt Christmas?

What has your MIL done?

I never met mine. She passed away before I got together with DH. But I gather she was a lovely lady.

And I really hope my brothers wives/partners don't think my mum is awful because she's absolutely wonderful.

My MIL is lovely.

for you though puppymouse - I've had the same thing with another relative these past few years, and it is so strange and horrible. I ping-ping back and forth between dementia and depression as explanations, but who knows really? It's so awful.

I'm so grateful for my MIL. Her worst crime is fussing and making sure we all have enough to eat and are comfortable enough in her house

My MIL appraised my parenting skills a week ago pointing out DSs numerous positives, I managed to steer the conversation away from the negatives. She is very proud of him but has had much less 'input' with him than with her other GC so can't claim any responsibility for how he has turned out. (At one family gathering when complimented on the behaviour of DSs cousin she actually said ' well I have virtually brought him up' fortunately DBIL and SIL were out of earshot).
We have MIL free Christmases apart from an hours visit to her house. A couple of years ago I asked if they would like to spend Christmas Day with us, her answer - " let me think about it, I'll let you know when I see what other offers I get". Well that was the last offer she'll get from me. It's a great shame since both my parents died before DS was born and he loved having his GPS with at Christmas.
DH is very supportive since he has seen how awful her behaviour can be and won't tolerate it. It has upset him in the past but accepts that it his her behaviour and not his failings that have created their poor relationship. She is a classic narcissist and fortunately he has accepted that her behaviour is not normal.

Thank you 53rd. DH is so stoic about the whole thing my heart breaks for him. I really wanted to believe she just needed help to begin with but it's hard to still think that. for your situation too.

My MIL gave me advance warning that she was going to bake sausage rolls to bring over for today and tomorrow, as she always does, so I didn't have to bake yesterday when I was busy. HOW DARE SHE?!

Honestly my MIL is amazing. Have had a lovely day with her and she's coming to my parents tomorrow for Boxing Day. She's pretty brilliant the rest of the year too.

My pil can definitely be totally bonkers but they are full of kindness always here for us and adore the dc's. Both my parents died a long time ago and I'm so glad my children have such loving GP that I overlook the strange! I'm actually really looking forward to spending boxing day with them tomorrow!

I love my mil, had a lovely Xmas with her and one of my dcs has her middle name too

Mine is lovely but at the same time sh gets on my tits. Attention seeking, can be quite arrogant and promotes her 'grand parenting' skills as infallible. Quite grating and draining after a few hours.
Could be worse though!

"I noticed a very high amount of anti mil threads today. Some for daring to buy their dgc gifts, something makes me think there are two sides to a lot of these stories and not every mil is a monster!"

This^^

My MIL is a monster, I could fill an entire thread about it.

But I like reading about the nice ones.

How can you be annoyed at someone you've never met? YABU

Never knew my MIL. But AIBU to be angry she has a name I don't like,mass it's now my DDs middle name and this spoilt Christmas

How's can you be angry at some one you don't know/haven't met? A name can't spoil Christmas, don't be such a dick

Mine is fab. I'm very lucky. She loves looking after DC. Anytime I want a break she is on it.
If she's round at our house she cleans and washes the pots.

She is lovely. Couldn't ask for a better one.

Mine is ok but she rarely spends anytime with my children compared to her daughter's children which I find very hurtful.

When we are all together it's all very civil but I know longer go out of my way for her.

I have a strange relationship with mine. She's always very polite to my face, she always asks after me if she's on the phone to DH and at Christmas time, they transfer equal amounts of money into our account and always want to know that we've done something nice with it, which is incredibly generous of her and fil. But I've overheard her talking about me before. And she's made a few comments that I've swallowed for the sake of harmonious family relations. It's important to my DH that we get on and she does it to everyone, so I don't take it personally. She spends most of her time in her kitchen, doing bits and pieces and I used to go and sit in there and try to chat to her, but it was obvious that she felt quite uncomfortable so I gave up trying.

I think that we're such different people, we don't have anything in common and have very different outlooks and opinions including her staunch belief that DH is the second coming of Christ Her other dil's are much younger, happy to defer to BILs (I most definitely don't), they're happy to stay at home and bring up the children (absolutely nothing wrong with that, but not how I am) local to her, she knows their families and they have much more in common. I know I'm not the dil she would have chosen for her son and I think that she would be quite happy if DH and I decided we didn't want to be married anymore. It's a shame because I've always got on really well with previous partner's mums and enjoyed spending time with them. But it is what it is. I think she understands that my patience will only stretch so far, I know without a doubt that DH would put me first every time if she ever went too far and we fell out, and my fil is bloody brilliant; we chat away for hours and I know he approves of me.

Can't pretend I'm not glad she's so far away though! 😉

My MIL has weird boundary issues like discussing the small size of exfil penis size & asking me if DH has a similar problem in front of my DH So fucked up and inappropriate. He doesn't but I don't see how it's any of her business!

The way she talks is almost like a teenager talking about her past love life, I don't want to know who she had sex with or where! Everything is a drama she's going to get revenge on everyone who has wronged her. I find it so bizarre, I'm sure other mils don't discuss that with their dils.

I've had 3 mil , no 1 lovely , no 2 awful , no 3 never met .

My MIL was lovely. Supportive, kind, generous.

She died on Thursday

My MIL is lovely and I adore her. Equally my DM is awesome and my DH agrees with this and we adore her.

nokidshere.

I don't know mine, DH went no contact with his parents and brother long before I met him. I sometimes think that hating MILs is misleading, some people are just hateful but as a lot of people have a harder job avoiding their MILs than the would other hateful people, so it all comes to a head a lot more. Plus its easier to rant on here and let off steam than to upturn the apple cart in real life. Perhaps? Not sure really!

I dearly love my MIL though we have our moments - she literally took the Brussels sprouts off me in my own kitchen as I was preparing them 'wrong' today - I had a surge of fury and then thought how ridiculous - if she's happy to make them, I need to get over myself put my feet up and have another glass They were delicious her way

But I know she is developing dementia. I wish they would talk to us about it, though I can see why they don't as I'm sure there's nothing we could do.

I thought I had a lovely mother in law until I moved in with her son. The first thing she said when seeing our house for the first time was "Your curtains are all hung wrong" (and not said in a nice, helpful way, more a sneery, aren't you stupid kind of way. When we got engaged she made a point of saying no one in her day liked silver for a ring as it looked cheap despite us repeatedly saying the engagement ring DH bought is platinum.

The final insult was refusing to attend our wedding because "We don't know anyone" yes I kid you not. Well there was that and he fact they wanted us to have a large family affair and DH and I said we wanted a intimate wedding.

My MIL adores my DC and travelled a very long way to spend Christmas with them. Travel is hard for her so I'm very appreciative.

She thinks I'm a wonderful Mother and she said that Christmas dinner was beautiful.

We don't always see eye to eye but we both try very hard as we both love DH and it's important to him that we're friends.

She's kind, she's generous and she's a great Grandma. These are the things that are important.

I love my MIL, don't know what we'd do without her