Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it's mean of OH TO..

31 replies

hrfvenia · 25/12/2016 11:48

Not buy me anything for Christmas (not an issue in itself), whilst knowing about a surprise trip to Dublin I'd planned, and has just gone out and bought himself a new PS4 and is now sitting not talking to me playing games..

I feel like I am being unreasonable but there's a little part of me that thinks 'arsehole..' 😔

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 25/12/2016 11:51
Sad

Do you have anyone else there? If yes go out and go to the pub , leave the miserable sod to it

RJnomore1 · 25/12/2016 11:51

What the hell do you feel unreasonable about?

So, which one of your friends are you taking to Dublin with you? He can keep his PS4 company.

He's a selfish twat it isn't you being demanding or entitled.

Original poster
hrfvenia · 25/12/2016 11:55

No there's nobody else. Expecting all in laws round at 2pm and am currently 8 weeks pregnant so the pub is out of the question!

I'm not particularly materialistic and I enjoy giving presents and seeing people's reactions when they receive them. I also love family time and seeing friends and family over the Christmas period which we haven't managed to do for one reason or another. None of my family are coming today because of various reasons and I just feel a bit lonely and a bit forgotten now. And just a bit sad.

OP posts:
LouisvilleLlama · 25/12/2016 11:57

I dunno YANBU, I get sometimes people have issues getting presents but to then go out get a PS4 shows he could have got you something. I also think Christmas is more about family time he HIBU ignoring you

Thattimeofyearagain · 25/12/2016 12:01

WTF is this thing about people buying THEMSELVES a present. He sounds like a twat to me, who doesn't even think that your worth an Xmas pressie. Seriously Id leave someone for this.

KatieScarlett · 25/12/2016 12:01

You're a better woman than me. I'd have thrown him and his bloody PS out by now. And you're pregnant!!
Fucker.

MissMogwi · 25/12/2016 12:30

Tight fucker. Speaks volumes about him tbh. Can you treat yourself to something nice? Has he explained himself?

I'd be taking my friend or sister to Dublin and not the Scrooge.

lovelearning · 25/12/2016 12:37

(not an issue in itself)

hrfvenia, have you identified the underlying issue?

Xmas Sad
VeryBitchyRestingFace · 25/12/2016 12:43

Why hasn't he bought you a present??

Xmas Shock

Is there a possibility he's got you a new car and is waiting for you to go into the garage to take the sprouts out of the freezer?

**

KC225 · 25/12/2016 12:45

My DH found an expensive jewellery set in his bedside cabinet draw that I bought for myself two years ago when I sold the flat I bought before we even met. He has seen me wear it and even done it up for me. This morning he handed it to me wrapped up as it was in his sock drawer (we moved in May must have got stuffed into his drawer then) he thought he had bought it
I am in the bedroom seething. It's the lack of thought and effort.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 25/12/2016 12:49

KC225, that is hysterically bad. Xmas Sad

Original poster
hrfvenia · 25/12/2016 13:08

Lovelearning no my issue is that he deem it acceptable to spend a considerable amount of money on a present for himself that will then take him away from family time with the rest of us at some point, with no consideration for how it might make me feel.

VeryRestimg unfortunately no, unless of course he has also bought me a garage.

KC225 I think that may be worse than not getting anything!

OP posts:
harshbuttrue1980 · 25/12/2016 13:39

I don't think its a problem in itself that he didn't get you a present, but I'd take someone else away to Dublin rather than him. Was the trip to Dublin really a present for him, or was it just that you wanted to go and he gets to come along? I'm not sure that I'd count a trip away that my OH wanted to go on as a present for me.

Wellitwouldbenice · 25/12/2016 13:48

Have you said alleviation him? What did he say?

Wellitwouldbenice · 25/12/2016 13:49

All this!

KC225 · 25/12/2016 14:15

Yes agreed, worse than not getting anything. I even had to remind him of us having a night away without th kids and him doing the clapse before we went for dinner. His reply, was well why was it on my drawer then?

whyohwhy000 · 25/12/2016 14:39

Return the PS4.

Jiggl · 25/12/2016 14:48

You say his parents and/or siblings are coming over?

Oh good. Then you can shame the fucker when they ask you what he bought you.
"Oh, I got nothing. He got himself a PS4 though".

They are his family. I'd be certain that his twatty behaviour will come as no surprise to him. But they can and should make him feel very bad for being such a selfish git. If it was my son/brother, I'd tear strips off him for his selfishness.

Ellisandra · 25/12/2016 15:18

I can't get my head round how this has resulted in you feeling "sad" rather than him feeling "properly spoken to".

I know you're pregnant. I know that fucks things up with calling it a day when you realise your boyfriend doesn't care about you.
You have to get to the bottom of this.

Is there any reason why it is OK? (if you had both agreed no presents - my fiancé's late wife used to say that, then drop hints at what she wanted! But it was good natured between them and became an in joke)

I agree that a weekend away might be seen as something you wanted for you.

What have you actually said to him?

Nquartz · 25/12/2016 15:23

Had you discussed beforehand if you would be buying presents? When DH & I have set spending limits in the past we've agreed it in advance so there's no confusion or disappointment.
Did you tell him you were upset?

lovelearning · 25/12/2016 16:03

no consideration for how it might make me feel

hrfvenia, is your husband usually considerate of your feelings?

Cagliostro · 25/12/2016 16:19

That's really shitty. Lots of couples don't do presents and that's fine but this is horribly one sided.

maras2 · 25/12/2016 16:22

It's been asked before but why did he not buy you a Christmas gift? Xmas Shock

gamerchick · 25/12/2016 16:25

Where did he get the PlayStation from, everywheres shut Confused

Sometimes I think Christmas highlights just how shitty a relationship is and makes it difficult to ignore anymore.

Is the whole thing worth saving?

BlueFolly · 25/12/2016 16:33

God I really feel for you, being pregnant to this idiot!