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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really annoyed at my brother this morning?

22 replies

NoCapes · 25/12/2016 10:51

Me and my brother have bought my Mum & Stepdad a joint present, we paid £50 each
I'm at home with my kids until I go round to Mums at 1:30, brother knows this

Mum text me thanking me for present before, I didn't know what she meant - he's given her the present that was from both of us without me even there!!

I'm actually really fucked off - why would you do that?! Xmas Angry

OP posts:
Chrissiecat · 25/12/2016 10:58

Your brother is either thoughtless or wanting the most credit from the present. Next year you hold on the the present.

BigMamaFratelli · 25/12/2016 10:59

I can understand if you're disappointed, but maybe your brother thought the present was about your mum and not about you? It's not like he pretended it was just from him or anything.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 25/12/2016 11:00

No YANBU. I think that'd piss anyone off ,tbh.

Lilaclily · 25/12/2016 11:01

Oh I posted on other thread

Original poster
NoCapes · 25/12/2016 11:02

No he didn't pretend it was from just him, but he's also bought them a present each that is just off him - so I just can't understand the thought process of giving them something else that is off me too when if he round later?!

I didn't say it was about me did I Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
NoCapes · 25/12/2016 11:02

Sorry Lilac I've reported the double post Blush

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 25/12/2016 11:04

I copy and paste then Xmas Grin

Well if everyone is sat round giving and receiving presents then I guess you might but next year make sure you keep the present

I'd also ring your mum and say you're sorry you weren't there to see her open it and I would say nothing to your brother , life is too short

Sixisthemagicnumber · 25/12/2016 11:06

If your mum knew it was from both of you why didn't she wait until you arrived before opening it?

treaclesoda · 25/12/2016 11:06

This wouldn't bother me all TBH. Your mum has thanked you for the present so it's not that he took credit for it, she knows it's from both of you.

What would piss me off though would be buying a separate gift just from him, if you had agreed on a joint one.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 25/12/2016 11:08

Yeah... I'd be pissed off too, but it's done now so...

Original poster
NoCapes · 25/12/2016 11:17

Oh didn't even think of that six I don't know Confused

I know it's done and there's joking I can do, I'm just really annoyed about the whole thing

Now when we go round she's going to give me and all the kids presents and I've nothing to give back
Just feels shit

OP posts:
Mix56 · 25/12/2016 11:18

Yes, very unthoughtful, Just tell Mama Capes, that you were gutted you weren't there, She will understand.
I don't know if your DB is a help to you in your life, but decide whether pointing out he is a selfish Dick is worth either upsetting Xmas, or Upsetting future relations with him.
In other words, "Choose your battles" ! Happy Xmas Capes !

Lilaclily · 25/12/2016 11:18

Have you got anything at all you can give her ? Regifted chocolates from the kids ? Flowers ?

BenefitsQuestions · 25/12/2016 11:25

Eh? This wouldn't bother me at all. He told her it was from both of you?

I don't get it. Surely the point was to give them the gift so why does it matter if you're there or not. She obviously understands it's from you as she text to say thanks.

Original poster
NoCapes · 25/12/2016 11:39

Nope nothing I can give them, I've not got any presents so nothing to regift

Thanks Mix Happy Christmas Xmas Smile

OP posts:
Benedikte2 · 25/12/2016 11:46

I understand how you feel Capes. Maybe your Brother gave the joint gift and told her only when it was opened it was from both of you. You only have to look at the other threads to see how hopelessly unthoughtfull the majority of men seem to be re gifts and giving. Why is the great mystery

Original poster
NoCapes · 25/12/2016 12:11

That's true Benedikte2 the amount of unthoughtful men threads this morning is a bit depressing isn't it

OP posts:
Mumto2uk · 25/12/2016 12:25

What a crap thing to do!! That is incredibly thoughtless and I would've absolutely fuming inside... However, I'd let it go so as not to spoil Xmas and then speak to him in a few days time so it never happened again! Sorry OP, that's so unfair x

LouisvilleLlama · 25/12/2016 16:43

I think YABU me my brother and sister clubbed together to get my DM a gift my DS will not be here until tonight/ tomorrow we gave her the present, my sister thought it was only logical

Ihavenoideawhereitis · 25/12/2016 16:58

I can't see the problem. Does everyone watch all their recipients open presents they gift? I only see my own family open their presents. She knew it was a gift from you and she was pleased and said thanks. Can't see that your db was particularly thoughtless tbh.

gabsdot · 25/12/2016 17:16

We did this one year. We bought a joint present between SIL (Dhs sister) and BIL ( dhs bother) and us for their mother. I bought it and wrapped it so it was in our house.
She came round on Christmas morning to give our kids their presents so I gave it to her and told her it was from all of us. It never occurred to me to wait till we were all together.
Anyway, SIL was so upset with us. She was denied the opportunity to see her Mam's face . She was devastated.
I don't understand it. It wouldn't have bothered me at all if roles were reversed.

BenefitsQuestions · 26/12/2016 06:44

Your mum obviously didn't think anything of it or she would have waited for you to arrive before opening it.

So that's your DB and DM who both didn't see a problem and I agree with them. I don't see why you had to be there sorry

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