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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to hide from the inlaws for the rest of Christmas...

125 replies

FriedPisces · 24/12/2016 20:05

Fabulous start to the family festivities today:
Go to visit MIL and her DH. Exchange gifts. DS (6) unwraps a tin for carrying his Hot Wheels cars around. Excellent! Takes off clingfilm and unclips it to find it empty. Cries big blobby tears, quietly says "it's empty." Explain we can put his cars in it when we get home. He then Loudly and angrily declares it the "worst present I have ever received! I HATE IT"
Christ I was mortified. Did explain quietly so as not to make even more of a scene that we can put the cars in later and we mustn't say things like that when we receive gifts because now GM is sad (she wasn't sad, she was fucking furious 😳)
Took him a while to come round but he left hugging it to his chest. Said to MIL that I was sorry, his reactions to things are something we're working on and will get him to send a thank you card but she said "well it annoyed me. Not sure he'll be getting anything for his birthday." Sigh. So yeah. Merry Christmas to me.
Then we discover that DD has bloody headlice! Fucking hell!
WIBU to hide from the DIL and his DW and my perfect BILs and SILs tomorrow?

OP posts:
Original poster
FriedPisces · 24/12/2016 21:51

It's not the £35 one, it was £15. His face lit up when the wrapping paper came off.
Fingers crossed the rest of Christmas is a bit smoother. And nobody else catches the frigging headlice. Xmas Angry

OP posts:
Audreyhelp · 24/12/2016 21:53

I think she is really tight. Fancy only buying that for your grandchild.

saoirse31 · 24/12/2016 21:57

Think at six I'd have expected better reaction from ur ds, I'd expect the tears but not the shouting about worst present.... However I think ur mil s reaction was way way worse. Very unpleasant.

TheWoodlander · 24/12/2016 21:59

Your MIL is a nasty piece of work.

Ledkr · 24/12/2016 22:03

We went to friends last night and dd (5) started hinting at presents straight away, age then declared dinner inedible before saying it was boring there!
Once she'd opened pressies she harrumphed about us having ours as "it's not fair" I tell you, I was glad to get out of there.
Ungrateful fuckers 😂

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 24/12/2016 22:06

Is there any chance that you daughter has at least given her nits?

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 24/12/2016 22:10

Was it the only present he got?

SabineUndine · 24/12/2016 22:10

She should have put a few sweets in, at least. I was once given an empty decorative storage box by a friend and wasn't very impressed at all, and I was 30-odd, not 6!

Benedikte2 · 24/12/2016 22:11

OP I feel for your wee boy. He's still very young and coping with a sudden disappointment is difficult at any age. Self control takes time to develop but would have expected MIL to have developed it by now.
Maybe warn DS next time to feign gratitude and to talk to you about it afterwards (when you can have a laugh at MILs meanness)
All you can do is soldier on for now and warn anybody attempting to repeat MILs criticisms of your DS that you don't want it to be discussed any further and that you have dealt with the issue. Shaming a child in front of others is a form of abuse

MammaTJ · 24/12/2016 22:12

Shit present = shit reaction! She got what she deserved!

I am big on thanks an politeness, but this deserves none!

coconutpie · 24/12/2016 22:15

She bought a six year old a storage tin for Christmas? What a fucking shit thing to give as a present. I don't know why you have much to do with her to be honest, if it's openly obvious that she has favourites and your DS is the least favourite.

And I would not be sending a thank you card for such a shit present.

Cheby · 24/12/2016 22:19

Headlice discovered here today as well. First case so I had to race out to the chemist just before guests arrived. Joyous.

I'd be cross with my kids if they reacted liked that, even at 6. But equally if it were me that had given the present that was so poorly received, I would be genuinely upset that I'd done such a poor job of choosing, rather than cross with the child for their reaction.

Original poster
FriedPisces · 24/12/2016 22:20

Nah she won't have got nits, she doesn't hug them.
It was the only present he got, yeah.
She said he'd "done it to her" before with an Easter Egg but I can't remember that.
And yeah I've told him in future to say thanks, put the gift to one side and come for a cuddle and tell us later he was sad. But he's 6 and quite a young 6 at that (3rd child syndrome Xmas Blush so he will struggle.
All three of my kids are overreacters I'm afraid. I am working on it but it's so difficult, especially when feelings are already running high.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 24/12/2016 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jo10000 · 24/12/2016 22:26

I would always put something in a box, purse, moneybox etc. You never give the receptacle empty. Sounds like she needs Grandparent lessons all round. Hope your son gets gifts he wants in the morning and forget about this experience. Don't let it spoil tomorrow - happy Christmas!

PutDownThatLaptop · 24/12/2016 22:27

A couple of things spring to mind about this. One was my experience as a little girl saving up all of my pocket money for ages to buy make up in a bag. I couldn't believe DM was letting me actually buy it, but there it was, with a picture of all the amazing make up on it. When I finally bought that make up bag and found it stuffed with tissue I was absolutely gutted.
The other thing is the nits. I found them on my sons on Christmas Day, two years running. You'd think I would have learned!

WellKnackered · 24/12/2016 22:39

It's an ok present especially as he had asked for it and £15 is plenty if that's what she wants to spend. It's just really unfortuanate that she didn't think that your DS would assume there were going to be cars in. I don't think it'd her fault though.

You son was rude to be so dissapointed and so vocal about it but he is only six and Xmas can be very overwhelming. A quiet word and an apology and thank you note is fine.
What's REALLY NOT OK was you MILs reaction. What a nasty way to respond. Not cool granny, not cool....

BTW I used to practise 'what to do when presented with a crap present' with my DC just before birthdays and Christmas. Useful when one of them was given three identical presents at his birthday party. 😂

CloneClubSestra · 24/12/2016 22:42

At 6 kids don't always remember etiquette - just enjoy vodka. It's what I do to survive relatives... I have a niece who has criticized gifts before. I always spend time and thought on her gifts and never dwell on it. Can't wait to see if the nieces and nephews like their gifts again this year. For all the ones that grump there is at least one who will be happy and make up for the rest Xmas Grin

SomeKindofNightmare · 24/12/2016 22:50

We had this conversation with DS2 when he was about 6 after a, shall we say, less than enthusiastic reception of a birthday gift from a relative. We emphasised how important it was if you don't like a gift from someone to just say 'thank you very much' because it would hurt their feelings to know he didn't like it. I also fucked up told him he could talk to me after if he wanted about something he didn't like it and maybe we could find a way to swap it for something he might like better.

Christmas rolled around and my mum, who can be a bit hit and miss with gifts, had bought him a toy he liked but also a sweater I could see he wasn't at all impressed with and I held my breath but he looked at her and said "Thank you very much, Nana" and even kissed her. Huge sigh of relief. I was so proud until he then turned to me and said. "Mum, I don't like it and I'm never ever wearing it, when can we swap it for something else?"

Everyone cracked up, even my mum laughed because she is the grown up in this scenario and knows better than to take offense when a small child has difficulty hiding his disappointment with a gift.

I'm sure Santa will make it up to your son tomorrow.

neonrainbow · 24/12/2016 22:52

It's a present from a grandma on a tight budget and is something he asked for. Not sure why this makes her a cow to be honest. Your child reacted like a spoilt brat and i would have told him off there and then not when i got home.

Original poster
FriedPisces · 24/12/2016 22:54

Just had a chat with DH about it. The DC all exchanged £5 gifts this year for the first time and we decided to do it tonight as a bedtime thing. Ds1 bought DS3 a Beast Quest book. DH said his reaction was "well acted" as later on when he went to bed he wasn't keen on reading it so the serious chat has hopefully worked!
Thanks for your responses everyone, Merry Christmas Xmas Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
FriedPisces · 24/12/2016 22:56

She's not on a tight budget neon, she's loaded! And has openly stated she isn't prepared to spend much on people for gifts. No idea why, it's just how she is.

OP posts:
neonrainbow · 24/12/2016 23:05

It's her money, she can do what she wants with it.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 24/12/2016 23:20

So she openly says your DH isn't her favourite and its clear your DS is her least favourite. Cut this toxic waste out of your lives and do your child a favour. What a cow.

Original poster
FriedPisces · 24/12/2016 23:20

Yes it is. Yes she can.
He did get told off while we were there, not excessively as it would have made more of a scene. He also got a stern talking to when we were home. He knows he did wrong.

OP posts:
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