WTO Ben seriously pissod off that he can't stay home?

[BillyNotQuiteNoMates]

This will completely out me but I'm so pissed off I don't care!
8yo DD is being sick, has been since early afternoon yesterday. Every hour or so, until 5.30am
She's been in my bed, while DH has slept downstairs.
Last night, he went to the pub, while I looked after her all evening. I've got his family coming for lunch tomorrow, and also a huge lunch for people on their own organised (80 people coming to a venue up the road) so loads to do
He's just gone for his usual Saturday morning cycle, as if there's nothing going on! He'll be out until at least lunch time 😡
I can't believe he hasn't even asked me if that's ok? He's just gone!

If he has a phone with him text him and say he needs to be back by 9am or he will have to cancel his parents visit as you won't have time to prepare for it.

I would tell him he can cook lunch tomorrow while you'll be up the road helping the 80 people, I do think that's lovely of you but why did you choose to host as Well? Isn't it all a bit much ?

Well I'd probably wait until he gets back and ask him if he's put enough time aside to start prepping for tomorrow, because otherwise nobody will get anything to eat. Don't do it all yourself.

My DH is selfish too-we're going to see Santa this morning and he's still snoozing away while I've been up since six with dd.

But if it was me I wouldn't text him, having him there and a frosty atmosphere will be worse than getting in with stuff yourself

We'll it would be for me anyway

I love it when dh goes out

You might need to put people off coming for lunch anyway if your DD is being sick. Will they want to risk catching her bugs?

Please don't subject 80 odd people (who I assume you know and like) to a sickness bug. I would be gutted to have to pull out of arranged plans but imo you really should be letting everyone know that you need to arrange a plan B that doesn't include you.

I bet you're exhausted and DH sounds like a whole other issue but I would cancel your smaller event and not go to the big meet up. DD must feel wretched too, she'll need a quiet one

I wouldn't want to come for dinner if you have noro in the house, do his family know you have plague

I'm not obliged to be at the lunch tomorrow, unless I want to be, but I do need to be involved with organisation today. I wouldn't subject anyone to a sickness bug. ILs aren't worried about a bug. I've also got to pick up food etc. I'll cope, but I'm just disappointed that he didn't even offer to stay with her.

Wow, that's really selfish of him, did he not even come and check on your DD before leaving?

I don't really understand the bit in your op about having his parents over and the 80 people. Are you supposed to be cooking for the 80 people? Anyway, just tell your DH when he gets back that he's a selfish arse and that due to being so tired after last night you will now be going for a lie down while he looks after DD and starts the dinner prep (or whatever).

And I can leave her for an hour with older DCs, but it's not ideal

We have early lunch at home, then I go to the venue and help with serving etc normally. Third year we've done it, bit manic but it works
There's two of us do all the prior arranging and organising, but I try not to over commit on Christmas Day itself, as I have a few DCs
The idea is that most people who help on the day are on their own anyway, somit gives them somewhere to go, and they feel useful at the same time.

If it's a church or charity you are helping with I think you need to opt out completely. I imagine those attending may be extra vulnerable, and you may already be a carrier of the bug.

I'd be angry about this. He's being very selfish.

Call him, it is completely unreasonable and he needs to get back now.