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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to tell Ds Santa isn't real

88 replies

MsJamieFraser · 23/12/2016 20:47

Ds1 is 10, he still believes, (I think, he thinks if he doesn't not beleive he will get one less present Xmas Grin however I think deep down he knows)

This will be his last Xmas in Santa... how did you tell your DC?

Ds2 is 7 so we still want him to believe, and ds1 will be OK with this.

OP posts:
Sybys · 23/12/2016 20:59

There was a recent thread where an OP wanted opinions as to whether she should watch Gremlins with her young DCs. I don't really remember the movie, but some posters said that it myth busts the santa story. Might be worth viewing!

gillybeanz · 23/12/2016 21:03

I'd let him have this one last Christmas and tell him later in the year.
I did this with dd as I didn't want her going to her new school still believing not that it mattered as there were 8 year olds at her new school who still believed and older than her still believing.
I just thought the time was right.
I wouldn't watch Gremlins for this reason as the story tells how a teen when a child found out as her father died when he got stuck down the chimney, he broke his neck.

BeanAnTi · 23/12/2016 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

m0therofdragons · 23/12/2016 21:07

My df still swears santa is real and when we stay at my parents over Christmas they make dh and I little stockings. Not once have I been told santa isn't real but at 34 I have figured it out. Why is everyone on mn so obsessed with controlling when their dc find out this stuff. If he asks fair enough but otherwise just go with it.

deliciousMOISTturkey · 23/12/2016 21:08

I have never told my children.

They are 18 and 20. I think perhaps they no but there's no way to know as I am never, ever going to tell them.

If they say anything all I say is 'if you don't believe you don't get presents'.

It works for us Xmas Grin

deliciousMOISTturkey · 23/12/2016 21:09

no???? Know ffs.

I have had wine.

Lilaclily · 23/12/2016 21:09

It's not for parents to tell

Kids just get the gist from TV, from the school playground etc

TeenAndTween · 23/12/2016 21:10

wait until spring

then talk about the easter bunny, tooth fairy, and move seamlessly to father Christmas.

Sirzy · 23/12/2016 21:10

Why say anything?

Sounds like he is well on his way to figuring it himself so leave him to it and don't make an issue of it.

pklme · 23/12/2016 21:11

In the summer, for a start!

I said something along the lines of, "you know how the tooth fairy works... Well Santa is a bit like that!"

Obviously it was a gentler, longer conversation than that.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 23/12/2016 21:11

"If you don't believe, you don't receive"
GrinXmas Grin

Playdoughcaterpillar · 23/12/2016 21:11

Just don't tell him this side of Christmas! I wouldn't tell at all.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 23/12/2016 21:12

Engineer a way for him to 'discover' the truth himself

Eg let something slip in conversation, he finds something 'hidden'

That way he feels he was clever in figuring it out

lapsedorienteerer · 23/12/2016 21:13

You don't 'tell' your DC, wait for them to mention it to you. That being said we all still have 'stockings' i.e. me, DH and DS(14).....and will continue

Confusednotcom · 23/12/2016 21:13

Unless he asks directly why mention it? The polar express is a good film for those beginning to question it I think.

harderandharder2breathe · 23/12/2016 21:14

For the love of santa don't tell this weekend!

You said you think he knows, why not just leave it at that? Kids are smart, he can go along with it for his brother and presents while still knowing the truth

Sybys · 23/12/2016 21:14

The OP said that this will be his last Xmas believing in Santa, so I don't know why people are worried she's going to tell him before Xmas

AnnieAnoniMouse · 23/12/2016 21:15

Don't tell him!

Why on earth would you do that? 11 yo here still genuinely believes, it's lovely.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 23/12/2016 21:21

After Christmas thank him for not letting on that Santa isn't real and keeping the magic for DS2. That way he gets told without feeling like you thought he was young enough to still believe (even if he still did).

Sybys · 23/12/2016 21:29

AnnieAnoniMouse - most children have figured it out before the age of 10, and I really think the remaining believers should be told before starting secondary school.

In part, I'd worry that a child who still believed, well beyond the 'normal' age, could be bullied and partially because, as their education progresses, it isn't helpful if a child cannot tell the difference between real and make-believe. Ideally they'd develop their deductive reasoning skills on their own of course, but that's all the more difficult if parents keep up the Santa myth into their child's tween or teen years - at that point I think you're hindering your child's development.

Crumbs1 · 23/12/2016 21:33

Mine were always told that it was simply the case of the magic changing. They got as excited filling siblings stockings as opening their own.

Wonderflonium · 23/12/2016 21:33

There was a meme on facebook about breaking the news that involves telling the child that while there is no Santa, it is their turn to become Santa.

www.scarymommy.com/viral-post-breaking-santa-news-to-kids/ maybe that might serve your purposes?

gamerchick · 23/12/2016 21:36

You don't tell them, they find out naturally.

cricketballs · 23/12/2016 21:37

Don't tell him; he will figure it out for himself

Benedikte2 · 23/12/2016 21:37

We never had this conversation in our house and yet I didn't go to secondary school believing and being made a fool of because I said I believed. In fact I don't think older children discuss it -- just taken for granted that only little kids believe in FC.
I didn't say anything to my DC and it's only when grandchildren come along that this was discussed.

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