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Original poster

How to tell Ds Santa isn't real

88 replies

MsJamieFraser · 23/12/2016 20:47

Ds1 is 10, he still believes, (I think, he thinks if he doesn't not beleive he will get one less present Xmas Grin however I think deep down he knows)

This will be his last Xmas in Santa... how did you tell your DC?

Ds2 is 7 so we still want him to believe, and ds1 will be OK with this.

OP posts:
Love51 · 23/12/2016 22:56

Belief is an odd thing. You know on a couple of levels before you say it out loud, if ever. And we all believe on Xmas eve! I don't know what age I was when i stopped believing, but I must have been at the top end, as I rationalised it like this for aaages:
Some countries kids get presents on 6th Dec, st nicks day.
Some countries get presents on epiphany, 6jan.
There the whole hours thing, midnight happens at different times across the world. So he has a full month to deliver! So instead of the whole world, it was basically just the UK to do that night - easy peasy!

Likely he knows, he's just enjoying the game. I think my 5 year old knows, as school have overdone it, with a Santa cam (the alarm sensor) and elves you can see - ffs let the children use their imagination! But it's too much fun for her to ruin it.

TyrionLannistersShadow · 23/12/2016 23:03

Waltermitty I agree with you about Irish kids believing longer. It's certainly not unusual here for kids to believe up to age 11 or so. It would be rare for an irish child under the age of 9 or even 10 to not believe, it's almost a cultural thing I think!

Ohyesiam · 23/12/2016 23:03

You are not really being straight with yourself. 10 year olds only "believe" in Santa to keep their parents happy. They know that mammals don't fly sleighs around the world in a night, and they know toys come from shops.
You really don't have a problem here.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/12/2016 23:05

Why tell him. Let him find out for himself. Why are you in such a rush to take the magic away.

bedouincheek · 23/12/2016 23:08

I saw this recently and thought it was such a lovely way to teach kids something and get out of being called a big fat liar.
imgur.com/gallery/qHrK6

AuntieStella · 23/12/2016 23:10

Your role as a parent us, I think, to say nothing.

Unless cornered. In which case, saying something that lets them cling on to a half-belief might suit. I nicked this from one of Libby Purves' books - I paraphrase:

'Well yes, some people don't believe in Father Christmas. Which means he can't come to them as he only visits those who do. Of course parents step in, so that no-one is disappointed on Christmas morning, even if it's not quite the same"

Sybys · 23/12/2016 23:11

Belief is an odd thing. You know on a couple of levels before you say it out loud, if ever.

Yup, and when it comes to Santa i think kids tend to adopt something similar to Pascal's Wager (particularly if they're told you have to believe to receive). Safer to go with the side which rewards you!

Deadsouls · 23/12/2016 23:13

Why would you have to tell him because he's 10. Is that a cut-off age or something?
Surely he'll find out in due course anyway.

Reality16 · 23/12/2016 23:20

People actually tell their kids this Shock

Boogers · 23/12/2016 23:26

Reality

Yes. Why the shocked face?

PlymouthMaid1 · 23/12/2016 23:36

My kids are 24 and 28. I haven't told them yet. Should I? Maybe they have guessed already.

Sybys · 23/12/2016 23:43

If they genuinely still believe you probably should have a word with them. If they have kids of their own it's going to be a bit crap when the kids don't get any presents because their mother and father were expecting Santa to deal with it.

Boogers · 23/12/2016 23:47

Plymouth just to be sure, why not use tomorrow as the day to tell them Santa isn't real. They've probably fathomed it out by now, but better make sure. Whilst you're at it why not take the opportunity to tell the first child they were an 'unexpected surprise', i.e. accident, and tell the second child they that if they were named after the place they were conceived their name would be "Marbella Sunbed At Midnight", and that granny wanted them to be a girl!

Some things you just don't say!

user1477282676 · 23/12/2016 23:49

I have Dd 12 and DD8. DD 12 said last year "He's not real is he?" and I said "he is in spirit!" and she said, "Are you telling me a ghost comes and brings the presents?" and looked like Hmm

So I said "I CHOOSE to belive. You can pretend to aswell if you like"

SO that's what we do! My sister is 50 and says "What are you talking about? not real?" when people mention telling the kids.

I live in fantasy land at Christmas. It's nicer/

Kr1stina · 23/12/2016 23:51

I've never told any of my children andi don't think it's affected their deductive reasoning or development Hmm

user1477282676 · 23/12/2016 23:51

Reality yes they do. Some people actually sit them down around age SIX and tell them!

Why frigging lie in the first place if you're going to do that!?

Sybys · 24/12/2016 00:09

I've never told any of my children andi don't think it's affected their deductive reasoning or development
But did they figure it out for themselves, and if so, roughly when? I personally think that if a child still believes in their teens (as does happen), and the parent continually tries to keep their child a believer, then it's a problem for the child's development.

Similarly, even if a parent isn't trying to actively foster the belief, I think there becomes a point where it is in the best interests of the child to let them know the truth.

For most children its unnecessary as the vast, vast majority do figure it out, but if my child still genuinely believed when starting secondary school I'd probably want to at least point them in the direction of some media which suggests that Santa is indeed fictional.

Obviously, if older children have clearly cottoned on that it's just a story, but are still happy to play along, that's not an issue.

Sybys · 24/12/2016 00:19

And my comment re. deductive reasoning and development was after a poster on the first page said that their 11 year old still genuinely believes, and that it's lovely. At that age, I'd be growing a bit concerned and looking for ways to have the child discover the truth.

The OP's kid sounds like he's probably figured it out (or is at least getting there) though.

hoddtastic · 24/12/2016 00:31

I am mid 40's, what is it you want to tell him? don't understand why you'd lie to your son that Father Christmas is not real?

TriniRedVelvet · 24/12/2016 00:38

What???? Santa's not real??? WTAF???

Scottishchick39 · 24/12/2016 00:41

I haven't told my 15 year old, if you don't believe then you don't get. I threatened to phone santa the other day when she gave me cheek and she rolled her eyes 😂😂 Her 4 year old brother was egging me on to phone him 😂.

bumsexatthebingo · 24/12/2016 01:36

There's no way a secondary school child without sn would still believe in Santa! If they were honestly naive enough to believe that a man flies around the world in one night delivering presents to every child pulled by magic reindeer I wouldn't feel happy letting them leave the house alone tbh. My dd began questioning it in reception and has been going along with it for her younger siblings sake since. No need for a big reveal imo.

notangelinajolie · 24/12/2016 02:15

Noooo! never say Santa isn't real. You have to believe or else what's the point? Xmas Shock

Littleballerina · 24/12/2016 02:21

No! Unspoken rule in our house. We all play along and never mention it.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 24/12/2016 02:36

I know I'll get flamed for this but I hate the whole notion of Santa. I don't think there is anything special or magical about it.

I can't remember when exactly I stopped believing myself - he was reasonably generous to me but I definitely remember wondering why he wasn't so generous to our neighbour's little boy.

With our own son my husband and I did consider not bothering with the whole charade of Santa but there is so much social pressure to do so. We did go with it but the Santa presents were never the big presents.
I was happy when my son decided at, I think, around 7 Santa did not exist.