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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not risk us catching this?

68 replies

stockingfilled · 23/12/2016 09:34

My 3 Dsd's were due to come over today but two of them have the dreaded sickness bug. The eldest one (who does not have it or has had it already) I have said I would still rather not come today just in case. I have a 9 month old and don't want her or us to catch it.

Not sure when they would be uncontagious or what the best thing is to do in respect of tomorrow.

Any help or opinions would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Pineapplemilkshake · 23/12/2016 09:41

I think if they were random visitors I would cancel, however surely your home is also their family home, so I think YABU to avoid them. I know it is a worry with a young baby in the house but surely with hygiene precautions you could avoid catching it.

AllTheBabies · 23/12/2016 09:43

What does their dad think? He must be desperate to see them.

Heratnumber7 · 23/12/2016 09:43

I think youre being a bit mean too. Can't they just avoid handling the baby? You don't catch a sickness bug just by being in the same room as someone. It's not airborne.

girlelephant · 23/12/2016 09:44

My DH & I both caught the novovirus this month. Luckily our baby didn't catch it but it's horrendous and seems to be highly contagious this year.

I would not risk catching it especially with Christmas around the corner!

KathArtic · 23/12/2016 09:45

If you can avoid it then it's common sense to put them off for a few days. If it is unavoidable that they must come over then it can't be helped. You don't really want a poorly baby.

clare2307 · 23/12/2016 09:45

I would say you have to have them over and get on with it. They are you baby's siblings, and baby's are often in the same house as older brothers & sisters when they are ill, it's life! Just take every precaution you can to avoid anyone else catching it. With any luck no one else will get sick and all kids will be well for Christmas.

Ankleswingers · 23/12/2016 09:46

I wouldn't risk it but that's me

UnmentionedElephantDildo · 23/12/2016 09:48

I can see why you would not want them in the house, but you shouldn't really stop them seeing their Dad at Christmas.

What else are they doing, and can any of it be altered?

If not, are there any hotels/B&Bs nearby which have space so that either you/baby or they stay there to avoid direct contact? I'd say it would be best best if the diseased have priority for staying in their homes rather than the healthy.

Original poster
stockingfilled · 23/12/2016 09:48

The trouble is if we do catch it Christmas Day is looming and it is likely to be then. So then Christmas would be crap for all the kids plus all the other family that it are coming.

Ex wife is happy for them to stay at home and dad just wants to do the best so we get a healthy Christmas Day with them.

How is it caught then if not airborne? Would I need to bleach everything they touch?

OP posts:
HunterHearstHelmsley · 23/12/2016 09:48

They're your step children. Surely it's their home too??

Imagine it was your daughter and she was being refused entry to her dad's house for being ill...

Satsunday · 23/12/2016 09:49

You need 48 hours after last bout of d&v before you are not likely to catch it. You have a 9 month old. It's a no brainer for me - disappointing but no need to risk you or your baby getting it. Can you delay the celebrations for a day or so and make up for it later?

Original poster
stockingfilled · 23/12/2016 09:50

Honestly I am not being arsey. I just want the best for everyone and not sure of the best thing to do. Of course this is their home too but all the same no point causing unnecessary problems.

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 23/12/2016 09:50

They have the sickness bug, as in they are still vomiting and have diarrhea? If so, no, they should stay where they are until they feel better.

If not, then they are not sick anymore and should come to yours. Keep them away from baby & her toys, and make everyone (you included) wash hands multiple times a day, just in case.

CoteDAzur · 23/12/2016 09:53

"How is it caught then if not airborne?"

By touch. Someone vomits, touches mouth, then a child's toy without washing their hands. Child catches it from toy. Or wipe after diarrhea, touch something without washing hands. Next person who touches it then eats a fruit without washing hands, etc.

Basically wash hands. All the time.

Poole5 · 23/12/2016 09:53

YABU

What will you do if you have a second child? Will you send the one away who gets a sickness bug because you don't want to catch it or for your other child to ge it?

Satsunday · 23/12/2016 09:54

You're not coming across as arsey don't worry. Perfectly reasonable not to want to catch it and I'm sure you can do something lovely with them to compensate once everyone is over it.

tinyterrors · 23/12/2016 09:54

I'd put them off for a few days. Tbh I can't believe their mother has even thought of letting them come. When any one at either our house or dsd's house have had d&v we've always rearranged contact to prevent infecting the other house.

When you have a couple of people in a house with a sickness but it's almost a given that it will get passed on. Despite best efforts and meticulous hygiene it still goes through our house like wildfire. I can't completely disinfect our one family bathroom every time one of us with a d&v bug uses it.

Yes it's their home too but they do have another home.

I'm sure everyone saying you have to let them come would be saying you're horrible making them come to you if it were you, dh and your child with a d&v but the day before Christmas Eve.

Heratnumber7 · 23/12/2016 09:55

how is it caught if not airborne

What Cote said ^^

Satsunday · 23/12/2016 09:56

It's a different situation if someone caught the bug whilst already in the house, which I'm assuming they didn't. In that case no point sending them away. But if they haven't been around for a while then it's reasonable to not want to risk catching it.

Satsunday · 23/12/2016 09:57

What tiny said. If you wouldn't do the same to them (ie visit whilst still contagious), then of course YANBU. Will go now, feel quite strongly about this topic!

Original poster
stockingfilled · 23/12/2016 09:58

I should mention also I am an emetophobic. But I have been having hypnotherapy for it and weirdly I am not as panicked as usual and my thought is for everyone having a good Christmas and my dd being okay.

The ex wife is keeping the younger two at home it was just my concern of the older one coming.

OP posts:
AnguaResurgam · 23/12/2016 09:59

If they are nearby, and there are plenty of other opportunities to be with their DDad over Christmas, then waiting until they are no longer actively symptomatic might be a good idea.

I don't think you should put them off if there isn't the flexibility to reschedule.

MusicalChairsOh · 23/12/2016 09:59

Nope I wouldn't risk it. Yanbu.

Original poster
stockingfilled · 23/12/2016 09:59

They live very close by luckily.

OP posts:
clare2307 · 23/12/2016 09:59

If the kids want to stay at their Mum's and she & your DH are happy with that then fair enough. I think you need to let them make the decision purely based on your step-daughters not your little one. If you ever have another in the future and your older one gets ill, you wouldn't send them elsewhere so I think these kids need treated the same. (I do totally understand you wanting to keep your little one away though, but unfortunately babies with older siblings don't get the luxury of that-Christmas or not -you just need to enforce no going near baby/lots of hand washing until they are better)

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