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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not risk us catching this?

68 replies

stockingfilled · 23/12/2016 09:34

My 3 Dsd's were due to come over today but two of them have the dreaded sickness bug. The eldest one (who does not have it or has had it already) I have said I would still rather not come today just in case. I have a 9 month old and don't want her or us to catch it.

Not sure when they would be uncontagious or what the best thing is to do in respect of tomorrow.

Any help or opinions would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Heratnumber7 · 23/12/2016 10:00

It's bloody Christmas people!!!!! How many of you would not admit your children into your house if they were ill when there's a perfectly easy way to avoid cross contamination? It's not like they've got some deadly disease.

Strawberrybonbons16 · 23/12/2016 10:01

I wouldn't risk it personally. It's different if it's unavoidable and already in the house but if it's not there's no point risking it. Just arrange the visit for a day when they're all better so you can all enjoy Christmas without anymore of you being ill Smile

AnguaResurgam · 23/12/2016 10:01

Can you find out if the currently non-lurgied one has already had it?

Because if she has, and she washes on arrival, the risk is tiny. Would she want to come by herself?

catsofa · 23/12/2016 10:02

YANBU i would definitely postpone mixing just for another couple of days if it could mean fewer people catching the bug, it's horrible.

Original poster
stockingfilled · 23/12/2016 10:02

Is it 48 hours from when they stop vomiting? Just trying to work out a plan with OH.

OP posts:
Piratefairy78 · 23/12/2016 10:02

Another one here who says it depends on what stage they are at. If they are still physically being sick then they won't want to move. Why move them because you have to be seen doing the right thing, especially as their DM is happy to keep them. If however they are over the stage of being physically sick and are just in the feeling crap category then you should have them. Just make sure everything is cleaned regularly and hands are washed all the time.

BabyHaribo · 23/12/2016 10:03

Actually it IS airborne for a short time.

When someone vomits it becomes tiny droplets which you can breath in

cx5221 · 23/12/2016 10:07

Going against the grain I think you should say unless you have shared care then it may possibly be best to have them after Christmas.

Only because I know when I was that age and poorly and at my dads house all I wanted, was to be at home in my bed with my mum.
My dads house was my house so I'm not trying to imply your home is not their home, but from my own experience my dads wasn't the same as being at home (with my mum) as I only saw him at weekends and I spent most of my time with my mum.

I think the best thing would be best to ask the children what they want as they might actually just want to stay at home until they feel better and if the kind fairly flexible you could sort another day.

Obviously if they're desperate to come either really good hand washing or maybe you could limit contact with your baby by nipping to visit people with your baby before Christmas.

ellenjames · 23/12/2016 10:07

It is airborne.

tinyterrors · 23/12/2016 10:08

It's not like sending a child who lives there away because they're ill, they're at one of their homes with their other parent fgs. Why risk passing the bug on for the sake of a day or two?

A cold then yes but "just" d&v can be much worse for a 9 month old than older children.

Has the eldest had it? If so then wait till there been at least 48 hours after the last episode of vomiting and/or diarrhoea before she comes to yours.

cx5221 · 23/12/2016 10:08

*if the kind should read
'if their mum'.

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 23/12/2016 10:09

Today is not Christmas, it's a Friday in December. OP is talking about her children, who are with another parent living nearby, coming to her house tomorrow instead of today. If everyone is happy with that arrangement, there isn't a problem, is there?

The only thing that springs to mind is - if one of the children isn't sick, she may have less chance of catching it herself if she comes to you sooner.

Satsunday · 23/12/2016 10:09

Yes it's 48 hours since the last bout. So if the eldest is 48 hours clear of it you should be ok. If she was still being sick etc yesterday she is very likely to be still catching.

If she hasn't had it yet I wouldn't risk her coming over for a couple of days either. However I think the incubation period can be up to 2 weeks but then no one ever knows what they are coming down with, so a couple of days seems reasonable to me.

alphabettyspaghetty · 23/12/2016 10:12

My stepsons sisters were poorly the other Friday evening. We picked him up Saturday as usual as he was fine. He stayed Saturday night and 3 am in the morning vomited everywhere. He was then continuously sick for a good three hours. Sunday evening I came down with it. I've got a compromised immune system and had 5 days off work... resulting in a disciplinary at work with the threat of losing my job. I wouldn't risk it again no. Next time this happens he would be staying with his mum. Your baby is young and doesn't have a great immune system so no I wouldn't risk it. 48 hours after last episode.

dingdongthewitchishere · 23/12/2016 10:12

I wouldn't keep my own kids away if they had nowhere else to go, but if they were with their dad, I would ask them to wait for a few days before coming. I can't see what is wrong with that.

The OP is not talking of kicking them out of the house, just to ask them to stay where they are for a couple more days.

lljkk · 23/12/2016 10:19

Nobody wants to catch a tummy bug. You don't need to be an emetephobe to want to avoid.

Agree it depends what the girls would like & what are the alternatives.

If plan was just a few hours visit, I would try to keep to that & observe good hygiene.
I think I'm sick of this worship of Christmas. Relationships matter more & those girls deserve to see their dad as they were looking forward to.

TinkievsBroBeen · 23/12/2016 10:19

You and DH would be NUTS to proceed with plans as are - highly highly contagious including when in incubation so if DSS3 hasn't even had hers yet then for the love of god re-arrange!

9 months old + D&V = serious. As in, mine was literally hospitalised so don't risk it (& we had THE most scrupulous cross-contamination measures in place too btw but other DC still caught it anyway so no, you can't magically prevent it or 100% protect LO!)

Original poster
stockingfilled · 23/12/2016 10:23

I remember when I was a child my little brother had it at about 10 months old and was hospitalised.

It's so crap, I feel so bad for the girls as well being poorly. It is such a shame.

We are meant to have them Christmas Day, in all honesty will this be a good idea?

My DD has just got over a really nasty cold too.

OP posts:
clementineorange · 23/12/2016 10:26

Fellow emetophobe. YANBU. Do not have any of them over until they have ALL been clear for 48 hours or more.

Original poster
stockingfilled · 23/12/2016 10:27

Clementine - rubbish isn't it?

OP posts:
tinyterrors · 23/12/2016 10:34

It's got nothing to follow with Christmas or how much the girls are looking forward to seeing their dad. It's to do with not passing on a horrible virus.

Would those saying the girls should still go be saying the same if it was chickenpox that the girls have? D&v can be dangerous for a baby, my ds was hospitalised for a week with "just" d&v.

lovelearning · 23/12/2016 10:38

Ex wife is happy for them to stay at home and dad just wants to do the best

I don't see a problem here.

dancegirl1983 · 23/12/2016 11:13

I would absolutely put them off for a few days. I'm sure they would rather have a day or two to recover and then have a great Christmas than to infect everyone else so that you're all ill and miserable over Christmas. You need to wait a minimum of 48 hours after they stop being sick. We all have a duty to try and stop illnesses like this being spread around imo.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 23/12/2016 11:19

I am a mum and a stepmum (divorced from the dad but his kids still come to me) me and every other parent have a system that works a treat, Amy of the kids are sick and that kid stays at the home they are currently in and the nine sick ones go to the other, that way poorly kids arnt moving about between houses when they want to be resting. We also keep hold of the kids if the kids in the other house are sick.

Tanith · 23/12/2016 11:34

Those who think extra handwashing will avoid passing on a D&V bug are being naive, irresponsible and hopelessly optimistic.

As a childminder, I wash my hands repeatedly, use disinfectants, gloves and alcohol hand cleansers and I still wouldn't knowingly accept a child who had a bout of diarrhoea and vomiting within the 48 hour exclusion period.
It's highly contagious and it's definitely not something you'd want to pass on to a 9 month old baby.

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