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AIBU?

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Original poster

To throttle DH over his stupid questions?

90 replies

HalloweenBabyDaemon · 22/12/2016 18:48

I can think of at least a hundred different ways to kill him actually but they wouldn't fit in the subject.

He will ask me where something is in the fridge/cupboard the second he opens it. No, the milisecond.

He will ask me where his keys are. Which he has just used to open the bloody door ffs.

He will ask me where something belonging to him and used only by him is. The second he starts thinking about needing it.

Etc.

It makes me furious. When I need something I have the decency to really look in every possible (and impossible) place before asking him the question (and in 99% of cases his answer will be 'I don't know'). Or I will ask if I know he moved it (and couldn't be arsed to put back in place). He will still answer 'I don't know'.

So that's it really. I kind of run out of innovative answers. I used the 'no idea', 'wherever you put it', 'I'm not your nanny/babysitter/mother/carer', some less kind too. I am looking for inspiration. I've given up hope of him changing so at least I want to have fun with it/not see red every time.

OP posts:
SantinoRice · 22/12/2016 20:31

Deliberately misunderstand him. Every time he says "have you seen my keys" say "yes, they're lovely"

DH used to do this but I took the piss every time then he stopped.

SquiffyAtBreakfastOnEggnog · 22/12/2016 20:49

"where are my keys?"
"dunno, have you asked Google? "

IvysMum12 · 22/12/2016 20:53

Up in Annie's room behind the clock.
In the oven behind the rice pudding.

amicissimma · 22/12/2016 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PavlovianLunge · 22/12/2016 21:03

The pav house...

DP: 'Where's my xxx ?
Me: 'Where you left it.'
DP: usually a passive aggressive sigh at this point.

Okay, it has caused the odd crossed word, but I just got sick of being asked to find something that a grown adult has discarded somewhere (probably out of sheer laziness), and then expects me to find. Fuck. That.

ShotsFired · 22/12/2016 21:09

I have a slightly different take on the issue.

Imagine me and OH are chatting about Dave from his work.
We spend 10 minutes talking about what Dave said, what Dave did, where Dave lives, how we are meeting Dave at the weekend etc etc

Then I'll say something like "what car does he have?"
OH: "Who?"

Drives me mental. I have now taken to standing there and staring, wordlessly at him until he says "oh, you mean Dave?". So he does know (obviously) my question is about Dave, he's just being needlessly gormless.

PickledCauliflower · 22/12/2016 21:16

I've had this for 26 years.

A fairly recent one is when I suggest options. We may have been talking about having a takeaway.
I may say "shall we have Indian or shall we try that new Thai place?"
DH answer: "Yes"

I then have to say "what are you saying yes to"?

I just get a blank look in reply!

TheOtherGalen · 22/12/2016 21:18

"I don't know -- it wasn't my turn to watch it."

That's my go-to answer for stupid questions like that. Works even better if someone's asking you where another person is.

CrohnicallyPregnant · 22/12/2016 21:21

I have this at work. We organised our room a few weeks ago, I put labels on all the drawers. So when my colleague asks where X is, my reply is always 'In the drawer marked 'X'!

SortAllTheThings · 22/12/2016 21:26

My ex used to do this, but with the added joy of blaming me if he couldn't find something immediately. "where's my shirt, I only bought it yesterday. What have you done with it" over and over and over. "where have you hidden my stuff"

Nowhere, you fucking idiot. I've not hidden your stuff, you've just lost it. Again.

There were many other reasons why the relationship ended, but once I realised it was over I did start hiding his things. Grin

SortAllTheThings · 22/12/2016 21:28

"Deliberately misunderstand him. Every time he says "have you seen my keys" say "yes, they're lovely"

GrinGrinGrin

That made me do a proper belly laugh

abbsisspartacus · 22/12/2016 21:40

I made an ex of mine tidy up because of this I worked two weeks in a row double shifts and I was reeling with exhaustion I talked him through picking up the mess and binning/putting away he did half the flat before he realised in hindsight telling him it might be hiding in the washing up was a step too far

MotherFuckingChainsaw · 22/12/2016 22:13

We have this.

Thing is I do have a photographic spatial memory, so DH knows if I have touched something in the house, car or anywhere however random or insignificant (has to be touched for some reason) I WILL know where it is. He calls it my superpower.

BUT

He knows he has to actual look, properly look, in all the obvious places before I am willing to fire up the 'superpowers'. On his behalf If he asks and I know the thing he is looking for is in a reasonable place then I tend to say it will cost you £50 and a weeks washing up if I have to tell you. Tends to focus his mind on looking.

I also do a good line in answers along the lines of 'up my arse' and 'yes thanks'

RaspberryOverloadsOnMincePies · 22/12/2016 22:30

Why do some men seem to think a vagina is an automatic homing device?

I make people take a proper look in this house. No, I am not getting up because you cba to actually search.

WhereYouLeftIt · 22/12/2016 23:37

This is the reason for my username. Although it's what I say to DS, not DH Grin.

And I don't think I've had to say it to DS for a couple of years now, so the training works!

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 22/12/2016 23:52

I'm another where ever you left it person.
If I do genuinely know where something is I will say so but I am not doing his searching for him.

Topseyt · 23/12/2016 00:08

I am worried it might be hereditary.

DD3 is 14 now and always losing her stuff. She will have taken all of her school uniform upstairs with the rest of her clean laundry and still apparently be unable to find it.

I remember her shrieking about being unable to find her school skirt one morning, which I knew she had taken up stairs not 5 minutes previously. My stock response to her on this sort of thing is "OK, go to school without it then". A teenage strop usually follows, with the offending item eventually making a magical reappearance, and her trying to behave as though nothing had happened.

queenbeeee · 23/12/2016 00:35

Wow how annoyingly irritating! I thi k I would answer his annoying questions wrong on purpose. Have him looking in places it would never be. I'm sure he'd get fed up soon and it would give you a giggle rather than winding up lol

jayisforjessica · 23/12/2016 01:40

My manager does/used to do this with PEOPLE. Drove me nuts.

"Jay! Have you seen Sam?"
"Jay! Have you seen Nicky?"

Seriously, these are grown people with minds and legs of their own. If they choose to walk off, there's little I can do about it, because YOU are the manager, not me. They don't have to clear squat with me.

It wouldn't have been so bad if that was the end of it, but she used to lecture me about "they're your teammates, how do you not know where they are, poor show".

"They're your STAFF, how do you not know where they are? Poor show."

Finally I told her, she's welcome to ask. Once. And if I know, I will absolutely and always tell her, honestly and truthfully. But if I don't know, that's to be an end to it, and she is NOT ALLOWED to penalize me for not playing social secretary when I have my own tasks to get on with.

Surprisingly, that (mostly) solved the problem. Now when she starts up again I just remind her that I'm not the department's social secretary and if she wants me to act as such then I want a payrise.

CheshireChat · 23/12/2016 04:43

I don't actually mind being asked and I'll happily answer provided I actually know where it is, BUT if I don't know or if I remembered wrong then I am not playing bloodhound for you.

Also if you think I'm wrong then it's up to you to check, I don't actually care.

DP also expects me to remember/ memorise everything and is baffled when I don't. Yes, I know everyone's phone number, account number, all the card details, but no, I don't remember when your bloody appointment is.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 23/12/2016 04:53

"Champagne, where are the nail clippers?"

"I don't know, have you looked for them?"

"No-could you look for them please?"

"Shock"

"But you're so much better at finding things than me!"

Angry
HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 23/12/2016 05:38

To change his behavior you have to make not asking you be the easier option for him

So next time he asks, give incorrect answers so he goes and looks in the wrong place

SargeantAngua · 23/12/2016 05:57

I take it as a challenge to observe where everything is (where he put his keys when he got in, where he left his slippers etc) and be able to say without getting up, but I accept this is a quirk of our relationship - my life goes at a slow pace due to illness so I enjoy the challenge and he is impressed by my 'powers' rather than annoyed by the fact I'm pointing at something behind him before he's actually said what he's looking for Wink

DryIce · 23/12/2016 05:59

I like to tell him that it is up his bum. Complete with just a long enough pause for him to look eager:

" I think it might be..." Hopeful face!..."up your bum!"

After many years now I just have to say "iiis ittt..." And he mutters about it not being up his bum and shuffles off to look himself

Nquartz · 23/12/2016 06:11

Happens regularly here too. I never respond in a useful fashion anymore, usually just say 'it's UTB' (up the bum) and he jokes he'll order a new one from Amazon whilst he looks properly. I want to try the psychic thing though!