to hate the comment "I'm an adult, you're a child, so you'll do as I say" or similar?

[Christmas2016]

It's not just me, is it?

I also apologise if I makes mistake and explain that adults sometimes get it wrong.

But I have my children's best interests at heart and sometimes they just have to do what I say. Act now talk later.

I think you need to work on your research technique OP. Explaining your rationale in a way no one can understand then saying 'I know I'm right' are not generally regarded as good academic practice

If I'm understanding the OP, I don't think they're saying that kids shouldn't do as they're told or should have free reign to make all their decisions - more that instilling the message that all adults are always right and therefore they should always do what adults tell them is a bit dodgy. If this is what you're saying OP (?) I dont think YBU, I agree.

I hate this comment too, OP, and would never say it to any of the children I work with. Most of the time there's a very good reason why the child is being told to do something. If so, explain that, instead of relying on empty appeals to authority. If there isn't a good reason, why should they obey?

I find it even worse when the 'child' is in their teens - there's a point to be made that a 4-year-old might not understand a rational explanation, but this doesn't apply to a 14-year-old. I agree that there are plenty of times that the parent will need to set boundaries or make the final decision on something, but this particular phrasing really bothers me.

Then again, I'm not a typical case - I hated 'being a child' because to me it was synonymous with 'being inferior and powerless' and this is what this particular statement plays on. Posters who had happier childhoods probably won't have those same associations.

I accept the point that telling children to blindly obey any adult could create an environment where abuse can happen but that isn't what your OP said.
And I don't think it's great to answer every question with 'because I say so' but it has its place. DS2 can argue for England and went through a phase of 'why do I have to go to school/get dressed/have a bath/go to bed?' etc. I would explain that if he didn't go to bed, he would be tired and spent time asking if he was unhappy at school (he isn't) but it ultimately came down to 'because I say so'.
My boss has just asked me to do something which I think is an unnecessary waste of time but, as it's not an unreasonable request, I just have to knuckle down and get on with it after I have had a good whinge to my colleagues. That's how life works.
And, if you are doing research, you need to toughen up a bit and not just flounce off when your ideas are questioned.

The message needs balancing imo.

But that comes from good parenting and good adult role models.

So yes, children need to know that they do as an adult says just like we are told to do as a boss says but they need to know there are boundaries about what is acceptable the same way we are told we should do as boss says unless we feel it compromises health and safety.

"But why are you telling your children that adults are always right?"

I don't. But I might say it, or something similar, about a particular occasion or incident. If appropriate I might explain later..........

"do as mummy says" or "do as daddy says" isn't actually 100% safe either: parents do abuse children, parents do make wrong or dangerous decisions regarding their children

but it is safer on balance- most of us are not abusers, and most of us make wise and sensible decisions most of the time

as our children grow we start leaving their safety and wellbeing, and the safety and wellbeing of other children around them, in the hands of other adults- teachers, childminders, the people who run after-school clubs, swimming instructors, bus drivers

of course we should teach them specific safety advice, e,g, about private body parts and not getting into somebody's car

but if they don't have the general attitude that they have to do as they are told by the teacher/TA/caretaker, then they won't be very safe at school and they could well pose a danger to other children around them

and those attitudes are likely to linger: a child whose main attitude towards the primary school staff was one of suspicion and I-don't-have-to-do-as-you-tell-me isn't likely to sit down and stop clowning about when told so by the driver of the school bus in secondary either

My children say that my "special look" and "Do as I ask you, please!" Could make their blood run cold.

Doesn't seem to have scarred you for life.......

I hated 'being a child' because to me it was synonymous with 'being inferior and powerless'

This times 100! I respected adults who gave explanations of why. And now if anyone tries to speak to me in a way which sounds like they're addressing a child, I resist very fiercely.

i am glad so many of you have time to negotiate with a 2 year old.

I am sure their teachers, carers and other adults at brownies/activities and their mates parents' are similarly fucking thrilled.