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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was a weird question, and a bit racist?

101 replies

Nameforsaken · 22/12/2016 11:37

Mil lives in a city, I live in a small village with nearest city a good 60miles away.

We were visiting and we were watching citizen kahn, my ds thinks it's hillarious!

Mil sat next to me and asked if we had any of them near us, gesturing to the telly. I kind of looked at her, knowing what she meant and just played dumb saying any of who? She tutted and changed subject.

It has made me think that maybe she's racist? It's made me dislike her a bit more but am i over thinking it? Why ask such a random question, and does it really matter?

OP posts:
Original poster
Nameforsaken · 22/12/2016 13:00

I think that is bullshit too broken

I have been thinking about that strong my dh warned me years ago about fil being a racist and bigot. But I never really understood as he never came across like he was, but as I've got to know him over the years he's had a few slip ups of derogitory words/names which have really shocked me. Then he'd say oops can't say that anymore, and mil would tell him off.

I think a lot of it is ignorance. I'm just glad we don't see them enough for them to have too much of an influence on dc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nameforsaken · 22/12/2016 13:03

My dh has always disliked his dad, due to his ignorance amongst other things. I think his mum has been living with his dad for too long

OP posts:
scottishdiem · 22/12/2016 13:04

"asked if we had any of them near us,"

Yes that is a racist comment/question.

And anyone being racist cannot be excused due to age etc. It has be challenged until it stops bleeding from one generation to the next.

FuzzyCustard · 22/12/2016 13:04

Amanda my mum is 93, my dad would have been 97. They never held racist views and indeed fought against racism all their lives. Please don't assume older means ignorant.

Gollygeewhizztits · 22/12/2016 13:06

I had a bit of an bad encounter with a woman who worked at a tube station once. Told the story to dp's dad and the first thing he said was "black, was she?" She wasn't, not that it's relevant.

Original poster
Nameforsaken · 22/12/2016 13:08

I just find it so wierd golly that the 1st thing to come in to some people's heads is race Confused

OP posts:
onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 22/12/2016 13:09

I remember my late ex MIL asking me something very similar to this when we moved to a new area. I replied enthusiastically "yes loads, we're so lucky it's a really diverse area full of fabulous Asian and Turkish shops, cafes and restaurants. I'll take you there when you're next visiting. It's great"
For once she was speechless.

Original poster
Nameforsaken · 22/12/2016 13:15

Grin onemore

OP posts:
Gollygeewhizztits · 22/12/2016 13:16

I know, Name. I knew he was racist before I told the story, but it hadn't occurred to me that he'd bring up race in that instance. This is one of the reasons I talk to the pol's as little as possible!

Gollygeewhizztits · 22/12/2016 13:17

Haha onemore.

CockacidalManiac · 22/12/2016 15:14

And the brummies wouldn't deserve the pig ignorant mode of communication either but I doubt she meant brummies.

Nor me. I was being facetious, and I'm a Brummie myself.

Manumission · 22/12/2016 15:15

Yes I know cock. I think my tone's broken this week Smile

CockacidalManiac · 22/12/2016 15:16

Although Adil Ray films it all in Manchester. Bloody traitor.

TheNaze73 · 22/12/2016 15:18

YANBU for what you think. She sounds incredibly rascist.

YABU for watching Citizen Khan. I'd rather put a fire out with my face, than watch it.

CockacidalManiac · 22/12/2016 15:18

While we're on the subject; the younger daughter in Khan. Anytime I'm at New Street Station, I see so many Asian teenagers dressed like her. It's obviously well observed.

TheCompanyOfCats · 22/12/2016 15:20

virtue-signalling, much? Xmas Hmm

SapphireStrange · 22/12/2016 15:41

Who, Cats?

TheCompanyOfCats · 22/12/2016 15:44

SaphirE

people who come onto AIBU with queries like 'somebody said this obviously racist thing and I was aghast, AIBU?'

Bit boring because nobody is going to disagree are they?

TheCompanyOfCats · 22/12/2016 15:46

sorry, Saphire, even (on my phone, can't type properly) !

SapphireStrange · 22/12/2016 15:52

Some people do disagree, though, or at least say things like 'Hey ho, she's old, what can you do?'

And the point of the OP was that she was looking for opinions on whether it WAS racist; she didn't think it was 'obvious'.

SapphireStrange · 22/12/2016 15:52

And if you find it boring, you don't have to spend any time on the thread, do you?

Original poster
Nameforsaken · 22/12/2016 16:59

I know thenaze not my cup of tea but my 7 yr old loves it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Nameforsaken · 22/12/2016 17:00

It wasn't obvious, but it had been bugging me for a couple of days. So I put it out to the mn collective. Not really seeing the issue?

OP posts:
Original poster
Nameforsaken · 22/12/2016 17:02

I also wouldn't call it virtuous to not be racist. I'd call it normal Hmm

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DonaldStott · 22/12/2016 17:09

If she is from the old generation, it is understandable. You cannot change old people

Seen this kind of attitude on mn a few times recently and it pisses me off so much.

My mum and her husband have an extremely large group of friends. They are aged 70+.

Not ONE of these peole are racist and would be upset to be lumped in as 'anyone over 70 is racist'. So will all you ageist people fuck off with this small minded view. It is as bad as being racist.

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