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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave now and drive 4 hours to get to my child?

69 replies

SocksRock · 21/12/2016 00:39

She's 9 and staying with my Mum for a couple of days. We were all up there until Monday morning when DH and I and the other two children came home. The plan was she was going to drop DD about an hour south of where she lives with a friend of mine who is coming near us and would drop DD back home. When we arrived at Mums on Friday she had a cough. Was generally OK but I did say should I take DD back with us. DM insisted she was fine and wanted to have DD so I left her there. I've just had a text saying she's much worse and isn't able to leave the house. On the phone she sounds awful like she can hardly breathe. I want to leave now and drive to get DD and some medical help for DM, DH wants me to wait and leave around 5am so I've had some sleep and the roads will still be clear. I do have two sisters locally (usually) but one is in Dubai on holiday and the other is on a training course and staying away in a hotel (and isn't responding to WhatsApp anyway). I don't know where she is. I don't know what to do for the best.

OP posts:
IMurderedStampyLongnose · 21/12/2016 00:41

Who is it that's unwell,your mum or DD?Either way I would go now,you probably won't sleep for worrying anyway.

coolaschmoola · 21/12/2016 00:41

Tbh I'm with your dh. What is your mum saying? How old is your mum?

SocksRock · 21/12/2016 00:41

I'm supposed to be working tomorrow but that is neither here or there my boss is great.

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SocksRock · 21/12/2016 00:42

DM is unwell. DD is fine, but it's just the two of them in the house.

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myoriginal3 · 21/12/2016 00:42

Go now. Have a rest there.

SocksRock · 21/12/2016 00:42

Mum is 66.

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SocksRock · 21/12/2016 00:43

Mum can hardly say anything through the coughing and wheezing. If I'm honest, she's a bugger for going to the GP, it's likely I'll need to drag her there when I get there

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SinisterBumFacedCat · 21/12/2016 00:46

Does your mum suffer from asthma? It sounds like asthma symptoms in which case she needs immediate treatment. Don't want to diagnose over the Internet though Brew

Astro55 · 21/12/2016 00:47

Any friends near your DM? Any sisters friends who'd go and check for you?

SocksRock · 21/12/2016 00:48

My BIL's but I can't get hold of either of them. I don't have any contact details for mums friends plus it's 1am

No asthma for her or anyone in the family.

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luciole15 · 21/12/2016 00:49

Your Mum needs to phone out of hours medical advice line now. If you can drive now go. If you are too tired, get rest as your DH says once you know what OOH docs say.

Has D D a charged mobile. Handy?

SocksRock · 21/12/2016 00:53

DD doesn't have a phone. She knows how to use one and how to call for help and my number is on the fridge where I left it for her. No way will Mum call anyone. I can't call on her behalf as I'm not there. I'm going to get my head down for a couple of hours and leave at 3. I'm genuinely too tired to go now - I had a shit day at work and a month of sick bugs and colds has me on my knees.

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stopfuckingshoutingatme · 21/12/2016 00:56

Sleep - honestly it will do no one any favours you driving unsafely - that's actually the highest risk . Get some
Sleep and safe drive

Tartyflette · 21/12/2016 01:01

Get a few hours sleep and set off early in the morning. Take tea or coffee with you. Hope your mum's OK.

MyKingdomForBrie · 21/12/2016 01:11

Sleep and drive at five, you won't be safe st three.

Sofabitch · 21/12/2016 01:13

Depends... will you actually sleep? If not you'll only be more tired at 5am

GardenGeek · 21/12/2016 01:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eevee77 · 21/12/2016 02:04

Roles reversed at it was your DD that was poorly I'd wait. But the only adult in the house being breathless I'd consider going and sleep when I got there. It's hard though. I assume you trust your mother? I've felt deathly ill before or in fact just had a wheezing chest and both times managed to look after LO with absolutely no cause for emergency or even a GP visit. How much do you trust your mothers judgement?

SocksRock · 21/12/2016 06:39

I slept, and then my sister called about 5am when she woke and read her WhatsApp. She's sending my BIL round there first thing to make sure Mum gets to a doctor and to look after DD until I can get there to collect her. Plan is for BIL to have DD until I can drive there after work, I'll stay over and then drive back early the following morning. DSis is of the same mind though, either mum goes to the GP today or we take her to the hospital. So hopefully all sorted

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ninenicknames · 21/12/2016 06:44

Thank goodness. You sound like young have a great solid family. Hope your DM is ok & you all enjoy Christmas

Footinmouthasusual · 21/12/2016 06:45

Hope it's all ok op how worrying for you all.

Jenijena · 21/12/2016 06:46

Hooray for sis/BIL.

Both my parents - non smokers all their lives - have been diagnosed with asthma in their 60s. Hope your mum gets seen todaysnd is ok.

Sirzy · 21/12/2016 06:48

Glad you have a plan sorted. Hope your mum is ok

SocksRock · 21/12/2016 06:56

And DH has just said "why the hell are you going to work? won't mine, I'll look after the kids and you can just go and get DD". So he is scrapping his plans for the day as well so I can get there. Mum kicked up a massive fuss on the phone to DSis saying we were being ridiculous about insisting she see a doctor, but we are doing the right thing? Or are we overreacting?

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SocksRock · 21/12/2016 07:00

And although I trust mum implicitly to look after DD, I don't trust her to see a doctor when she needs one. Let's just say she has form, and DSis's and I have had to force her before.

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