To demand fruit first

[Rixera]

My 19 month old DD seems to think so.
She has become a fruit rejecting, veg scorning, biscuit eating monster.
She demanded a biscuit. I offered a selection of fruit. She asked for an apple. I peeled it for her. She demanded a biscuit. I said have some apple first.

Nearly an hour on she is bright red and still howling, we are both covered in her snot, and she is still clutching the apple, licked but unbitten. I am holding firm. No biscuits until she has at least had a bite of her fruit.

AIBU? Should I just give her the sodding biscuit?

I guess that depends what you want her to learn from this. Or what you think she is capable of learning

Hold firm!

Love it when the day starts with a battle, eh?

Have you my 3 year old?

He gets one treat a day (since we are bloody coming down with crap food). After that it's fruit only.

No wouldn't give in now tbh - rod for own back and all that

No! Never go back on something once you say it or you loose all ability to be firm when needed as she'll just know that you'll cave eventually.

When you fancy a biscuit do you always make yourself eat some fruit first?

You are all right. Thankyou for the reinforcement!
She tried to fool me by holding the apple up to her mouth and taking it away again then pointing excitedly and asking for a biscuit. Is now even crosser as it didn't work.

Honestly I'd just put a biscuit and some apple on a plate and let her get on with eating. That way she will probably eat both and everyone is happy. Why make life so stressful?

Never ever say something you won't stick to! It doesn't matter about fruit or biscuit really, thats your choice, but now you've said it, stick with it.

Dont teach her that tantrums = getting her own way

This is why I love being a grannie

Oh no gaillondon recently the fruit and veg gets carefully thrown to the floor, then when the cheese/rice/biscuit is done she holds up her plate with a cry of 'more?'
And tbh I do make sure I go through the available fruit options before biscuits or sweets. Can't beat a granny smith.

There is absolutely no need for her to have a biscuit, so she's not losing out on meals or anything. I say stick to your guns.

She tried to fool me by holding the apple up to her mouth and taking it away again then pointing excitedly and asking for a biscuit.

On the plus side, she is clearly very bright and this kind of cunning will serve her well later in life!

I'm still doing this now with a 10yr old DD! This morning she went thru all the cupboards asking for chocolate, crisps, biscuits as she was hungry. I said she can have breakfast if she's hungry.. toast, cereals or fruit. Major strop, lots of whining, then she ate a piece of toast and asked for another piece!

I'm not sure what the end game for this rule is overall. What is she supposed to be learning? That fruit is a duty to get through if you want a biscuit? Obviously you can't give in today, but sometimes rules we impose can be really self defeating.

Has she had breakfast?

Once you've started you have to continue, you can't back down. However you can change tack tomorrow.

I'm with the other poster, if you fancy a biscuit do you force yourself to have an apple first? You need to look at her overall diet and manage that. By forcing her to eat fruit first uoure just going to make her have negative thoughts about fruit. Manage the food groups seperately.

Ha! Toddlers are smarter than adults OP, are you only just learning? [grin

I would give her the biscuit. She's not even two yet. I didn't get wound up by enforcing the 'good' foods before the 'bad' - I just don't think they have the understanding.

Oh how weird it should be obviously!

Agree you can't back down now! Personally I don't think I would be forcing her to eat the apple, but would simply have said fruit is all there is - if you are hungry eat it, if you aren't then leave it but there isn't anything else.

I think now you've started you'll have to persist but next time definitely don't force the apple as a way to get a biscuit, the aim is to get her eating a healthy diet you don't want her associating fruit with a massive battle.

My son hated fruit for his first 3 years. Make sure you keep offering healthy food (adding butter to veg makes it yummier) make sure that she gets enough of everything she needs (disguising veg in cheese sauce always seemed to work when my son went through fussy stages). Eventually she'll probably come to it of her own accord. Maybe cut back on the biscuits in general too.

The baby child is 19 months old?

All the people saying 'stick to your guns' etc - have you no common sense at all?

Presenting both items at the same time was your first and only mistake OP. If you want her to have fruit, give fruit.

Can't believe you've turned it into a battle of wills for an hour (!) with such a small child. Ineffective and completely pointless.

Move on, and play a game instead or do something different - poor kid

When you fancy a biscuit do you always make yourself eat some fruit first?

Why do some people always compare toddlers/children to adults?

I'm assuming the OP (being an adult), feeds herself a reasonable diet and also that she's old enough to make decisions for herself.

OP, can you distract her? Perhaps take her out for a while?

What a big palaver over nothing. Just pass her a biscuit. Unless she has a shocking diet or something, don't make this into a pointless fight

Ridiculous

Assuming she normally eats apple (not something my DD has ever willingly put in her mouth!), then hold firm this time. There have been many days when we've had a similar tantrum over something when I've thought 'if I'd known you were going to be this upset, I would have done something different to start with' but I try not to give in...