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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would it be completely crazy to give the DCs their main present today?

166 replies

ChaChaChaCh4nges · 20/12/2016 06:24

Three DCs, aged 9, 6 and 5.

DC1 is poorly. He has a nasty cough, fever, blocked up nose, sore throat, etc. Was up half the night, despite Calpol.

We were stuck in yesterday, we're going to be stuck in today. DCs 2 and 3 are bored and bickery, DC1 is ill, bored and bickery.

Their Christmas presents from me are Kindle Fires. I was always planning to give them to the DCs on Christmas Eve - partly because we have a long car journey to my parent's house, partly because they'll still have their stockings with me first thing on Christmas morning, and partly because they'll be with their dad on Christmas Day from 10am where they'll get loads more presents.

I'm now thinking of bringing it forward to today. It would keep them all occupied, and it would also mean I could make sure they're loaded with exactly the games and videos they want.

Downside is that it's not traditional, but I actually can't see any other significant issue.

What would you do?

OP posts:
ProfessorBranestawm · 20/12/2016 10:31

I wouldn't personally

But then we have a separate Christmas with my DSCs (they always spend the day itself with their mum) and getting presents on a separate day has never been an issue.

I do think it's a good point about possibly seeming to 'reward' being ill though. So I'd maybe not go with that as being the reason.

I can't imagine most children complaining/going on about how they got nothing for Christmas though. Mine would be in massive trouble if they did that, but I really can't see it happening. My dad bought DD's first pair of dance shoes (she does ballroom so £££) as a birthday present but because of when she'd started lessons she got them pretty early. She's never said "grandad didn't give me a present on my birthday" she just remembers the experience of going to the shop and choosing them and she still says, grandad got my shoes for my birthday.

Hadenoughoftumble · 20/12/2016 10:32

Balloonslayer are you serious? Maybe you know children who would speak like that but I don't!! The op's children are NOT going to turn round in a few years time and say "you got us NOTHING!" That is just ridiculous!

I started reading this thread thinking 'no way' but as I've read through I think definitely yes! If they're leaving on Christmas morning for over a week then I think it's lovely that you will get to see them enjoy their present for a few days first. You've had to cancel play dates and you've done brilliantly keeping them entertained with crafts and baking. So I would definitely give them their kindles! It doesn't have to be on the 25th.

Also I remembered that my present from my mum this year (I'm 31) is a lovely pair of boots from Next that she gave me a couple of weeks ago so I could wear them to things leading up to Christmas. So I can't say anything Xmas Smile

1horatio · 20/12/2016 10:34

Ballon

You're crazy'!!!

I love the suggestion of having a special mini Christmas

Hot chocoloate, some biscuits, maybe a Christmas movie,.. and then they'll get their present.

Sounds perfectly imo!!'

BalloonSlayer · 20/12/2016 10:44

Hopefully I AM wrong Grin

My DCs are generally grateful but still they have bizarre memories of things past that really do not concur with mine. Real example: DS: "do you remember when we saw that fire and the firemen carrying someone out of the house?" "Er no, DS, we drove past a road with a fire engine parked in it and mentioned there might be a fire, we saw nothing at all."

Teenage DS said to me yesterday "How many times have I told you that I don't like bacon!" Um, how about none? How about you have eaten it regularly all your life and always seemed to like it very much indeed? Confused

Teens are a breed apart!

I would worry that with the competitive Ex asking what did your mum get you? no I mean what did your mum get you for Christmas Day? that this nice idea could backfire.

OhHolyFuck · 20/12/2016 10:48

You're on your own with three ill bickering kids? Yep, give them the kindles!
It's your Christmas too and if that involves not stressing yourself into a frenzy trying to keep everyone entertained and happy, I'd let them have them
They're big enough to understand and it'll make the run up to Christmas much more pleasant if they can rest and get better

christinarossetti · 20/12/2016 11:27

If they're going to be away for over a week then, illness or not, it makes sense to give them their kindles now.

It seems better to give children a gift that you know they'll love when they have the chance to play with them for a few days, rather than half an hour before they have to go somewhere else.

BigBangTheory789 · 20/12/2016 11:39

Yes I would!!! Christmas is NOT about giving presents, that is the bonus and has been forgotten as people forget it's a religious festival and not a commercial one...

The presents are a lovely bonus and since they are home and bored and unwell and the gifts are just sitting there fully charged why not just let them actually enjoy it??? They will get more gifts on the day to open plus extras from their dad anyway.

I don't celebrate Christmas in the religious sense as I am Muslim, but I guess I celebrate it the same way as 99% of the population anyway, big xmas lunch with the family, too much food, food coma, family games, bickering, more food, no presents and we don't care cos the presents don't mean a thing... The kids don't even notice or care about the presents, all they care about is winning at the games and us all spending time with them.

It's pretty sad if Christmas day is only about presents and to be honest that's what is coming across from a lot of the posts here...

Go ahead OP, make it a special day for them today, you don't need to wait until one certain date in the year for that...

PoppyThankful · 20/12/2016 11:43

You know your kids best and you know what would be best for them.

gillybeanz · 20/12/2016 11:46

No matter how tough things were I couldn't do this, although in your shoes I can see how you are tempted, I would be too.
But I think it would spoil my time with them at Christmas so couldn't do it.

EggnoggAndMulledWine · 20/12/2016 12:09

Yeah I would.

ChaChaChaCh4nges · 20/12/2016 12:25

But I think it would spoil my time with them at Christmas so couldn't do it

I'm going to have them from waking (say 6am) until we have to get in the car at 9:45am. In that time we need to open stockings, get washed, get dressed, have breakfast, brush teeth and play with the stocking toys.

Then I won't see them again until 2017.

What time is there to spoil?

OP posts:
Rainydayspending · 20/12/2016 12:27

We had Christmas already. No santa here. DH works Christmas. 2 eldest dc are at their dad's this year and youngest is 9 months. Just like any holiday - there's no need to stick to the date 😁

Rainydayspending · 20/12/2016 12:28

Whole shebang been and gone i mean. Stockings, presents, dinner, walk, board games, movie.

christinarossetti · 20/12/2016 12:29

Go for it OP. Sounds like you could all do with a sprinkling of magic today.

AddToBasket · 20/12/2016 12:31

OP, you sound determined but I think this is complex and to do with you feeling like you don't have a stake in their Christmas Day. You kind of know you don't want to do it which is why you haven't.

Give them on 25th or on Christmas Eve.

LotsoNumbers · 20/12/2016 12:37

All this talk of setting precedents..they won't remember next year when exactly they got their kindles! Have a mini christmas op and enjoy the time with your children

JigglyTuff · 20/12/2016 12:38

In your circumstances, yes, I absolutely would. This way, they'll actually get to play with them before they go back to school too - if you wait until Xmas day, they'll be getting to enjoy their 'main' present from you for about 5 minutes!

And if this situation where if they spend Xmas day with Daddy they don't get to see Mummy for another week or so is likely to continue, I'd say that you're a family that celebrates winter solstice instead otherwise your kids are forever going to have to walk away from their big present.

And I wish people would RTFT - it's not very long

HopefulHamster · 20/12/2016 12:56

It sounds tough. I would either

  1. Do my best to hang on to Christmas Eve Or
  2. Announce that tomorrow is going to be your version of Christmas Day and do it then.

I'd still want to tie the Fires to Christmas somehow, even if they do understand the situation. I think it will make for better memories. Maybe. But I know nothing!

RebelRogue · 20/12/2016 14:58

Balloon

  1. Op did say her kids will have other stuff to open,but the kindles are the main
  2. If any kid of mine dared to act or talk that way they would soon learn what getting NOTHING really means.
littlefirtree · 20/12/2016 15:35

I relent. I see you have little time with them. I would definitely open them when you want - if today feels right just do it and open them now. Enjoy the time together!

holidaysaregreat · 20/12/2016 15:41

What did you do in the end? Initially I thought no - but then as I read on it seemed like a good plan as they would actually get time to use them with you there.

NotYoda · 20/12/2016 16:11

If money is tight, I really don't understand why a Kindle Fire is a suitable present for a 5 and 6 year old.

amammabear · 20/12/2016 17:21

I don't understand why anyone would think it's better for the kids top have them on Christmas day when you're barely seeing them.

I'm not seeing the kids on Christmas day this year as they're going to their dad's before then, so we're having a little celebration and they're having their gifts from me one day this week. I defy ANYONE to tell me that is wrong and that they should have them on Christmas Day. They're also having their biggest present from me when they come home so I guess that makes me doubly bad...

OlennasWimple · 20/12/2016 17:25

We're doing big presents tomorrow, because we are travelling over Christmas and they can't take them with us. It's not ideal, but we aren't big on "the magic of Christmas" anyway, so I'm sure my DCs will understand that this is just a response to particular circumstance. (And they have know about this for the last few weeks too).

They will still get plenty of presents on the day and afterwards. Smile

OlennasWimple · 20/12/2016 17:27

NotYoda - Kindles can be surprisingly cheap, especially if you buy them on offer and using a cashback site. No more than a small / medium Lego set.

There are lots of games especially for 5/6yo, most of them are vaguely educational too (DD loves a spelling game, for example)