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Original poster

Would it be completely crazy to give the DCs their main present today?

166 replies

ChaChaChaCh4nges · 20/12/2016 06:24

Three DCs, aged 9, 6 and 5.

DC1 is poorly. He has a nasty cough, fever, blocked up nose, sore throat, etc. Was up half the night, despite Calpol.

We were stuck in yesterday, we're going to be stuck in today. DCs 2 and 3 are bored and bickery, DC1 is ill, bored and bickery.

Their Christmas presents from me are Kindle Fires. I was always planning to give them to the DCs on Christmas Eve - partly because we have a long car journey to my parent's house, partly because they'll still have their stockings with me first thing on Christmas morning, and partly because they'll be with their dad on Christmas Day from 10am where they'll get loads more presents.

I'm now thinking of bringing it forward to today. It would keep them all occupied, and it would also mean I could make sure they're loaded with exactly the games and videos they want.

Downside is that it's not traditional, but I actually can't see any other significant issue.

What would you do?

OP posts:
FrenchDucksSayCoinCoin · 20/12/2016 07:21

I see two risks with this, one that, although you've explained it is one present each, by giving it today they think that you have got them something else, or that today's gift is a random present and their Christmas gift is still to come. The other is that their Dad will ask on Christmas Day what Mum got for you and at least one child will say nothing, because in the intervening five days so much else has happened, and the kindles were a nice surprise rather than for Christmas.

Anniegetyourgun · 20/12/2016 07:23

Do it! You know it makes sense.

Like the Sabbath, Christmas is made for man (and woman, and child), not man for Christmas. It is the law that shops etc must close but it isn't the law that individuals must honour it - and different countries have different dates to do the present thing anyway. As everyone surely knows, Jesus' birthday is calculated to have been round about May anyway, but celebrations were conflated with Midwinter (and even miss that by a few days).

Your DC are just about old enough to understand this is a once-off due to special circumstances (the eldest certainly is). Or, you could start a family tradition, if you want to, that Mum's present is given early - why the hell not?

Original poster
ChaChaChaCh4nges · 20/12/2016 07:24

There is something amiss with kids getting kindle fires and I pads before Xmas day because they'll have so much other stuff on the day

Not from me, they won't! That's exactly why other people are criticising me!

And I can't stop their dad buying them a shed load more.

OP posts:
HardcoreLadyType · 20/12/2016 07:25

We went to visit relatives abroad about 10 years ago, and as we had bought our two eldest DC Nintendo DSs, which we thought they could have on the plane, and our youngest a bike, which we couldn't take, we gave them the presents early.

It worked quite well, because PIL saw them get their presents, even though they didn't get to see them on Christmas Day, itself.

I think it's fine, if you won't actually be able to see them open the presents on Christmas Day, anyway.

christinarossetti · 20/12/2016 07:26

I think it's a good idea in the circumstances. Aside from the unwellness, it would be useful to have them esp the younger two able to use them independently before your long car journey.

They will also be over the initial excitement of them before they go to their dad's, but they'll still be exciting afterward their visit too.

Go for it.

Giselaw · 20/12/2016 07:26

Do it.

I don't believe in not getting your kids much throughout the year and giving them a mountain of gifts at Xmas and birthdays.

They will appreciate the gift much more on its own than as part of the Xmas morning madness. If it's setting a precedent, it's a good one.

We actually do similar - our Elf brings gifts sometimes - so the kids don't get a huge mountain of stuff on the 25th, but there's an element of magic / surprise / small gifts throughout all of December.

willitbe · 20/12/2016 07:26

If you have done all the cookies, paper chains...etc etc, then it is time for them to entertain themselves - without electronic gadgets. When children start saying they are "bored" or start bickering in my house, instead of being told off, they get to help me with housework so that we can spend time together not being bored!!!!! Children will often find toys more interesting than house-chores!

I find sorting out toys, what they play with and what they don't works wonders. Move the things they don't normally play with into another room (and sometimes suggesting that the are given to other children to play with via charity) often works to get the children to start playing with them again.

You say you don't have many toys, can you take a couple of the small stocking presents you have ready, and use those for the two who are not ill saying "if you help mummy with..... (insert whatever appropriate, tidy bedroom, put plates in dishwasher, sweep floor) then I have a little surprise for you". Don't give them the main present, just a couple of little things, but as reward for doing things.

For the child who is ill, ask them to make a special Christmas card or Christmas picture (just needs paper and colouring pencils, no big craft things) for someone (grandparents?), then he can have his "reward".

I don't think giving them their main Chirstmas present is the way to go today.

Chasingsquirrels · 20/12/2016 07:28

I probably would.
I'm not with my children's father and we alternate Christmas with the children swapping to the other parent on Boxing Day morning.
Tbh I prefer having them Boxing day as then they get a few days at home to use their new stuff, rather than rushing off the next morning and getting a whole load of other stuff (I appreciate it's the same for them either way, and this is about my enjoyment of their enjoyment).
Swapping at 10am Christmas Day just gives no time at all.
In the past weve had Christmas on Christmas Eve - so they then had another full day at home afterwards, probably when they were too young to know the dates though. My dad got arsy about this and said he wasn't doing presents in Christmas Eve, fair enough - everyone else did though and as my mum is the present buyer in their household it didn't mean anything - everyone got given presents as normal (and dad didn't leave his unopened until the next day).

Unless you are celebrating the religious aspect it is a completely arbitrary day.

You get them a separate present from you. It's not impacting on your Santa traditions if you have any. It's not impacting on what their father gives them (and actually spreading it out might well increase the enjoyment). You are happy to do it but have this niggly "but it's not the done thing" feeling - well who cares? Do what you are happy with and what works for you.

And I hope no one else comes down with the illness and you all have a restful couple of days and a lovely Christmas. It's hard on the day without your kids, especially the first time which it sounds like this might be for you. x

CurbsideProphet · 20/12/2016 07:28

ChaChaCha I would do it, but I don't think that Christmas should just be one day of mass hysteria over presents - spread it around a bit Grin You could always yourself until 2pm today and reassess?

Grescille · 20/12/2016 07:28

No you can't controlwhat their dad does but I wouldn't want to make myself second best by settling for presents early.

If you weren't divorced would you still be giving the presents early?

PoppyFleur · 20/12/2016 07:30

I also think it is a good idea in the circumstances. Enjoy your early Christmas together.

Original poster
ChaChaChaCh4nges · 20/12/2016 07:31

If I save them for Christmas Day then I'll get to see them open them, and then play for perhaps half an hour before we have to leave for their dad's. I'm not going to let them take them to their dad's - things that go don't usually return.

OP posts:
Biking007 · 20/12/2016 07:33

I feel your pain it's hard being stuck in with poorly siblings and mine love time on theirs
Hudls. But they also lose hrs playing imaginary games love building "tents" with clothes airer and blankets with pegs & line up all their soft toys for "School" (they are aged 5&9) they put on "shows" and every time they start off whining there's "nothing to do" if I take their hudls away, but if I ignore it they get lost in their heads playing after a while and it's lovely. We have "picnics" at lunchtime watching a film which kills another two hrs. (Sit on blanket in front room)
It's your choice but once given you can't take the gift back and I'd think waiting till 24th is doable and makes the gift more special.

Original poster
ChaChaChaCh4nges · 20/12/2016 07:33

If you weren't divorced would you still be giving the presents early?

Actually, I think there's a reasonable chance we would.

But if we weren't divorced one of us could take the little two out while the other stayed at home with the eldest...

OP posts:
Mouikey · 20/12/2016 07:33

Totally agree with willitbe. Boredom helps with creativity and imagination, it's just one day (given what you say the plans are for the rest of the week). If not helping with housework it is (except poorly one).

Grescille · 20/12/2016 07:35

So give them Xmas eve if this is about wanting more time with their presents at Xmas..

Or do what you want!! At least one of mine wouldn't have been bothered with a kindle fire anyway and although they would have been pleased with it, it would have held their attention for approx 20 minutes Confused

RebelRogue · 20/12/2016 07:35

Meh I'd give the kindles today. A little bit of excitement,lots of new things to discover and do on a pretty miserable day. It's not their only present for xmas and they know it's from you so no magic ruined.

Chasingsquirrels · 20/12/2016 07:36

If you weren't divorced....
Then life and circumstances would be different, and who knows how this one would play out. BUT the OP is divorced, and therefore things are as they are not as they might have been.

Artandco · 20/12/2016 07:37

Also just a thing on 'they know they are just getting one big gift', my sons are also 5 and 6, a kindle would be seen as a small gift to them due to its size not cost. At their age a £5 giant helium balloon is seen as a huge gift and a £600 iPhone as a small gift for example as they don't really understand cost v size
So if you gave mine a kindle today, they would still be expecting ' big gift' at Christmas from you

neonrainbow · 20/12/2016 07:43

Grescille i think your kid is probably the exception rather than the rule. Hmm Most kids would be absolutely thrilled to receive a kindle fire. Why do you want to piss on the ops parade about the gift she's bought?

Original poster
ChaChaChaCh4nges · 20/12/2016 07:43

Mine absolutely understand that a Kindle is a substantial gift [baffled].

They also play on their dad's for hours and hours.

OP posts:
LotsoNumbers · 20/12/2016 07:45

I've had a proper giggle at this thread....all the "you'll ruin christmas" doom mongers.

Give them their present...it'll make your life easier and it will give them a good chance to play with them. Imagine being given a shiny new kindle fire to play with as a kiddie on Christmas all loaded up with games then having to leave it behind half an hour later. Not really what christmas is about!

Give them their kindles!

amammabear · 20/12/2016 07:51

I had presents early when I was ill as a child, I really don't see the issue.

amammabear · 20/12/2016 07:53

My kids are having most of my presents on Thursday as they'll be with their dad over Christmas, then having their biggest present when they get home after Christmas. Even the four year old understands this perfectly well.

TheMortificadosDragon · 20/12/2016 08:07

My DD has had 'Christmas presents' substantially early on occasion - though not when she was that young - things like phone or new laptop when start of school year made more sense. Absolutely fine because - get ready for this piece of heresy - christmas isnt all about getting a big present. Its family, feasting and fun (and if you're a Christian, all the birth of jesus stuff). The idea that the 'magic of Christmas' depends on a surfeit of gifts on a specific day is a bit weird really.

Its the Winter Solstice tomorrow, that's actually why northern cultures have winter festivals, to cheer ourselves up in the dark and cold. Sounds like exactly what your family need, OP! If your kids, and you, will be happier for having their kindles early then give them with a glad heart!

Merry Christmas Xmas Smile