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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To contact dds work?

140 replies

Isadora2007 · 19/12/2016 09:01

Dd1 is 16. Still at school but recently got a waitressing job at local hotel. She has worked three shifts - well four if you count the first 6 hour "trial" shift for which she won't get paid (her staggering £3.80 an hour) for.
Anyway. Yesterday she came home from a 2-8pm shift at 8.45 (ten minute walk home) knackered and a bit tearful. She hadn't had a break and hadn't felt able to ask as "no one else had a break".
Aibu to call her work and ask about breaks? She thinks they will sack her if I do. I think they're breaking the law as I believe 16-18 yr olds are required to have a half hour break every 4.5 hours of work.
Help... I'm really not usually an interfering mum but my mama bear instincts are kicking in as I think it's so wrong to pay crap wages and take advantage of young workers like this. (But I realise I may be overreacting)

OP posts:
Mistigri · 19/12/2016 10:54

If work is being performed then the employer may be in breach of minimum law legislation.

I'm astonished to see so many people on here basically saying that it's OK for employers to treat children (a 16 year old is legally a child) like this.

Children have special protection under employment law for a reason. They are not adults. They are also not paid as adults!

The OP's DD has little power here, because employers in the UK are used to exploiting a supine, non-unionised population. But if they are breaking the law, then the OP has the right to report them to the relevant agencies. May not do any good but if everyone rolls over then we may as well not have laws to protect child workers at all.

Mistigri · 19/12/2016 10:55

That should say "minimum wage legislation" in the first sentence of my post above.

Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 19/12/2016 10:56

Disgusted at the pay level. I was paid just under that 20 years ago when waitressing. We used to take it in turns to have a 10 min break and something to eat as well.

I don't think conditions are better now at all, and as for that greedy man keeping the service charge of his servers...we used to get our tips as well if we'd served a table.

mikeyssister · 19/12/2016 11:06

Sorry I know I'm missing the point totally but why did your 16 year old have a hangover?

AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads · 19/12/2016 11:08

It's a rough time of year to be starting hospitality work. Everyone is stressed, it's busier than normal, tables are larger than normal and I have definitely done the 5 minutes on the toilet as a break thing.

I remember customers talking about working time directives and how often we should have a break but it doesn't always work in catering, especially at Christmas.

On the bright side, the tips should be good over Christmas, especially Christmas Day. I always loved working Christmas Day, the chefs were happy as it was a set menu with most prep already done and the customers are in a great mood. I almost doubled my (double time yet admittedly not huge) wage in tips working Christmas Day.

It'll go quiet in January and then she'll be complaining that there's nothing to do except clean things Wink

Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 19/12/2016 11:08

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4039192/Michel-Roux-Jr-admits-keeps-tips-212-head-restaurant.html#comments

This was the chef I was thinking of keeping all the tips...

LaurieMarlow · 19/12/2016 11:10

mikey

Hmm Are you exceptionally dim or something? Surely the answer to your question is obvious.

AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads · 19/12/2016 11:11

"Sorry I know I'm missing the point totally but why did your 16 year old have a hangover?"

Yeah that's quite unlucky. I never got hangovers at 16, no matter how much I drunk.

elvis86 · 19/12/2016 11:11

Bore off mikeyssister..Hmm

AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads · 19/12/2016 11:12

Wow, I used to like Michel Roux Jr.

1horatio · 19/12/2016 11:12

I don't really have anything to add.

But it sounds like your DD is a really great kid. I do think she should be able to handle work on her own.

But parents can back her up at home and make sure she has enough time to study. (It sounds like you did this, so, that's not meant to be criticism.) and also make sure that she knows her rights and where she can go if her employers are breaking the law.
I'm a bit surprised that she gets payed so little, but she's a student and you said it isn't about the money. So, yeah... work experience is always good. I did a lot of internships when I was her age(or a bit older).

Trifleorbust · 19/12/2016 11:13

So many jobs will be like this - "Can I go on my break?" "No, we're short staffed" etc.

You need to teach her to assert herself but definitely not call her boss. They employ her and don't even have to speak to you, plus they will lose all respect for her.

Littledrummergirl · 19/12/2016 11:15

She could ask for a meeting and take you along for reassurance. As she's under 18 it is entirely appropriate to have a parent advocate attend for this.

My advice would have been to suggest she find another job as soon as the words "unpaid trial" were said. This isn't what I'd expect from a reasonable employer.

toomuchtimereadingthreads2016 · 19/12/2016 11:19

Completely agree with you on the principle, and can also see why you would be upset by seeing her overtired etc.

However, sounds like it will be a good lesson for her that the world of work is unfortunately not always easy. My husband works in the world's largest hotel chain and gets 20 minutes break in a ten hour shift so go figure.

Maybe she would be better suited to a shop job if the workload feels too demanding?

Mistigri · 19/12/2016 11:19

OP you should read this page

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/young-people/young-people-and-employment/#h-about-this-information

If your DD turned 16 after the start of September, she is below school leaving age and benefits from strict protections under UK law; there may also be local by-laws restricting the hours she can do.

If she turns 17 this school year she has less protection but it's still possible that the employer is breaking the law (esp re minimum age). Does she do night work?

Mistigri · 19/12/2016 11:20

Also, I find it pretty sickening that on a parenting site people are saying that their adult male partners get exploited so your DD (a child) just needs to get used to it.

And we wonder why brexit and trump happened.

Original poster
Isadora2007 · 19/12/2016 11:24

Grin mikeyssister... has it been a long time since you were 16? Or knew any teens?

Thank you for the continued input. I was very Shock at the unpaid trial... but it's very close to us so quite handy for her and I thought maybe her first pay packet might have had a wee bit extra... am losing hope that will be the case though...
I will chat with her tonight what she wants to happen next. And help empower her where I can.

OP posts:
StarryIllusion · 19/12/2016 11:34

Yeah, no, don't ask. You just say to a colleague, "Watch my tables for a minute, please? Going for a wee." and go. If she starts off letting them walk all over her, they won't stop. Personally I'd chuck that job in and look for another if I were her. It isn't going to get better.

hanban89 · 19/12/2016 11:42

I worked waitressing when I was 15 and there a few problems like this from time to time. My boss was generally ok though. My mum and dad wouldn't step in but suggested ways to ask about it. I felt awkward at the time but it has helped me ever since and gained confidence and haven't had a problem broaching anything with bosses in my other jobs.
I would suggest though if she can find something in retail/ supermarkets as the pay is better and she would likely get her breaks better. And although she would probably be working Boxing Day, Xmas day is always free.
Tbh though if it makes her unhappy I would try and look for something while keeping the job on. She'll be gaining experience as she goes. And confidence!

grannytomine · 19/12/2016 11:50

My daughter worked in a cinema when doing A levels. She liked the job, it was decent pay and they had hectic times but also quiet times, she learned alot of skills working the the shop selling drinks popcorn etc, in the cafe making coffees and teas and eventually in the bar as well as seeing people to their seats, dealing with underage kids trying to get into films etc. It was all good and then she needed an operation and they didn't give her any sick pay, I explained the rules to her and she challenged them, she got a bit of sick pay, I went through it with her explained where they had got the rules wrong (in their favour of course) and sent her back in and she got some more, finally printed out the rules with explanations about where they were getting it wrong, rehearsed with her what she was going to say. She eventually got all her sick pay (not a fortune think it was about £200) and an extra £50 as an apology.

She was quiet and shy and it was a good lesson for her.

AgentProvocateur · 19/12/2016 11:50

Mistigri, there no such thing as "uk law". The page you linked to only applies to England. In Scotland, you can leave school and even go to uni at 16.

user1471545174 · 19/12/2016 11:53

She needs to hand in her notice and find another job, if possible.

Trifleorbust · 19/12/2016 11:58

More overuse of the word "advocate" - it's a part-time job and a missed break. No-one needs an "advocate".

Mistigri · 19/12/2016 13:00

OP, specific info for Scotland here (v similar to rest of UK it would seem ...)

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/scotland/work/young-people/young-people-and-employment-s/

VintagePerfumista · 19/12/2016 13:41

Glad that both you and dd are being sensible about it OP, and all kudos to her for taking on a job when she doesn't need to!

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