To contact dds work?

[Isadora2007]

Dd1 is 16. Still at school but recently got a waitressing job at local hotel. She has worked three shifts - well four if you count the first 6 hour "trial" shift for which she won't get paid (her staggering £3.80 an hour) for.
Anyway. Yesterday she came home from a 2-8pm shift at 8.45 (ten minute walk home) knackered and a bit tearful. She hadn't had a break and hadn't felt able to ask as "no one else had a break".
Aibu to call her work and ask about breaks? She thinks they will sack her if I do. I think they're breaking the law as I believe 16-18 yr olds are required to have a half hour break every 4.5 hours of work.
Help... I'm really not usually an interfering mum but my mama bear instincts are kicking in as I think it's so wrong to pay crap wages and take advantage of young workers like this. (But I realise I may be overreacting)

As a student I worked in various bars - I think this is just par for the course, especially at this time of year when places are mad busy. Usually we would have been allowed to keep drinks under the counter, can she at least access water?

I worked as a kitchen porter when I was younger than your DC. I remember being close to tears on my first few shifts as I wasn't used to working and it was hard physical work. It got better as I got used to it and quicker so I did have time for a wee!
And it is catering - if you were out for a meal would you be happy to wait for your main course as your waitress was on her break?
IME it evens out. At this time of year - in most restaurants the busiest time of the year - it is hectic . I went on to be a chef (so I got over the tears!) and I regularly did 90+ hr weeks, few breaks, eating on your feet - we used to joke about not having time for a shit and a shower...
IME it evens out when it isn't so busy you do have more chance for a break. If your DC has regular shifts - not just to cover busy shifts over Christmas - in January she might have evenings where they do 1 or 2 tables. Most of her shift will be spent on a break...
Whatever you do -don't phone on her behalf - she will get the piss taken out of her over it and if she insists on a break when it is really busy someone will have to be working harder to cover her - will hardly make her a popular member of the team. They should all be in it together and will get a real buzz/sense of achievement from getting through it...
And she does have to learn to fight her own battles..

Six hours isn't a long shift. I work in catering and we are meant to get a break on a 7.5 hour shift but it rarely happens abs especially not when it's very busy.

OP if you speak up it is likely that your daughter will get fired.

I don't think that is the way it should be, btw. But that is the reality of crappy, low-paid, insecure min wage jobs.

DSis4 worked at a hotel doing similar. When she turned 21 she was entitled to a higher wage (I think it was 21, anyhow). She left it a few weeks for them to 'notice' - of course they didn't - then raised it. They were perfectly pleasant about it, oh, they just hadn't realised, of course they would alter her wages. Next week she didn't jump fast enough when a manager told her to do something and her employment was terminated 'for failing to follow instructions'. She'd worked there for ages with no problem.

That is the real world and at the risk of sounding like one of the four Yorkshiremen, it will do your DD good to realise this. I supported myself through a PhD by working crappy shifts in a bar. The absolute best part of getting my first university lecturing post was quitting that job. I still remember counting down the hours as I worked out my notice. Doing that job spurred me on to finish faster than many of the funded students because I knew exactly what it was to be unqualified and I didn't want to be in that position for the rest of my life!

In all honesty, for waitressing at Christmas, 6 hours is nothing.

She will probably have, in very small print somewhere, a clause that says "anything we are supposed to give you can be kyboshed at any time due to unforseen circumstances" or some such guff. Our teenage activity leaders (and indeed teachers) on summer schools, have a similar clause to their contract. It says "bla bla, usually a 35 hour week, this can become considerably more during our busy periods"

You mustn't contact her work, for all the reasons others have stated.
Support her, let her continue, or not, but don't speak to them, and perhaps help her to understand the realities of waitressing- as I said ^ 6 hours in Christmas week, is actually fairly minimal.

At a shop I worked at in my late teens, we did 12 with 10 mins for a wee if we were lucky.

Ds was a kitchen porter from 16 and the restaurant was crazy busy with shifts all day from 9 am to 11.+ pm. They tried to give the under 18s breaks but it was a very hard tough busy job.

Catering is hard and poorly paid. She's 16 if she doesn't 'need' the job my advice would be tell her to pack up, enjoy Christmas and look for another job in the new year.

It doesn't matter if they 'twig' - they can't sack her for it and more than I could be sacked if dh did the same at my work.

I assume you mean that they "can't" sack her because that would be illegal? Just like not allowing her a break is illegal..?

Even assuming that the employer didn't bin her off to avoid more PA phone calls from her mother, she'd still have the piss ripped out of her for it.

she does have to learn to fight her own battles

Unions fight battles on behalf of their members.

Should Union members learn to fight their own battles?

I think you should concentrate on telling her it will get easier. I did catering a at her age and it takes a while to adjust to the physical work. Make sure she is wearing comfortable.shoes, it makes a huge difference!

I felt I had to share what happened to my daughter in a similar situation.

When my daughter was 16 she was offered a job at a clothing outlet which was inside a Garden Centre. There were 2 other ladies working with her, both in their late 60s, possibly early 70s. She was not given breaks for working 6 hour shifts and to make it worse the other ladies vanished into a make shift office (more of a cupboard) to read 'take a break' magazines and left my daughter alone to do all the work.

My normally shy and withdrawn daughter suddenly gained confidence and decided to write a letter to the head office of this well known chain, siting the law and outlining her lack of breaks and support from her colleagues, she did this at the same time as handing in her notice, (she was also studying for her A levels at the time).

She received a genuinely remorseful apology from the head office, even asking her if she would reconsider returning to her position (which she declinned as working with her 2 co-workers would have been awkward). The Head Office were completely unaware she was being taken advantage of in this way. It also resulted in her friend who took on the role after her, getting breaks and treated so much better...so while she didnt keep her job, she learnt a valuable lesson and gained confidence.

No of course not Lovelearning, but the Union should be used when bosses refuse to listen. As it stands OP's DD hasn't said a word yet.

I know she's only young and this is daunting, but it is part and parcel of learning to work. You cannot expect someone else to constantly run interference for you because you have never learned how to stand up for yourself or to have a difficult conversation, or you are going to have a very miserable working life indeed.

There's been some good advice on here. I did years in C&H myself so know what it's like. I agree with the advice to have a bottle of something in your bag. You wait for a lull in service and tell your boss/manager you are going to the loo - and you do so in a way that invites no argument.

It doesn't matter if they 'twig' - they can't sack her for it and more than I could be sacked if dh did the same at my work.

Of course they can. They can sack her for anything they like (except for issues relating to having a protected characteristic) within the first two years of employment.

Oh yes to the comfortable shoes. Don't wear heels - they will ruin your feet and back if you are on the go all day, but likewise you do need a bit of a heel so that you have some support - ballet flats are too flat. Brogues or similar are pretty good. It's also important to wear something that is fairly sturdy and won't slip off if you are rushing. I've seen a lot of slips, trips and falls due to poor footwear. Also it bloody hurts if you drop a bottle or plate and it lands on your foot.

Of course they can. They can sack her for anything they like (except for issues relating to having a protected characteristic) within the first two years of employment

Yup. And even after 2 years it only means that you have the right to go to a tribunal (after paying the costs), with no guarantee that you'll win.

write a letter to the head office of this well known chain, siting the law and outlining her lack of breaks and support from her colleagues

The Head Office were completely unaware she was being taken advantage of in this way. It also resulted in her friend who took on the role after her, getting breaks and treated so much better

Union members should take a lesson from pregnantat50's daughter.

Bravo!

I wouldn't call yourself. But she does legally need breaks. Unfortunately I think your dd will have to be the one to bring it up. I worked with someone (17) who had supportive Mum who came into work on her behalf to complain about something. We never saw her again. Her grown up status in her own eyes was diminished by her Mum's assistance and she didn't feel comfortable working with us anymore.

Of course she can be sacked simply because the employer chooses. She's been there a very short time.

By all means discuss with her how to raise the issue of her breaks but do not contact her work.

Why is she not getting paid for her first shift?? That alone makes me think the employers are just taking the piss.

I worked in catering as a teen. We always got a lunch break. Often at 11am or as late as 3pm on a really busy day, working 10-5. But we always got them.

I wouldn't ring. I would explain your rights to your daughter and discuss how she can approach her employer but prepare her that she might get sacked for it. Because companies that want to exploit young workers often get away with it. That doesn't mean her next employer will be the same, or that the industry is not for her.

Even if they don't sack her, they can suddenly have no shifts for her, pretty easy to do in January anyway.
I'd tell her to say nothing for now, work her arse off over Christmas and New Year for the tips, then see how she feels in January, she may well have got used to it, or it'll be quiet anyway so she'll get her breaks.

God, please don't call her employers. It's massively inappropriate and her colleagues would all treat her differently in future. Can you imagine your own mum phoning in to complain when you had your first job? I'm saddened that so many of this generation of young people have been wrapped in cotton wool so much that they are unable to do something simple as ask when their break is.

And it's not illegal to sack her in her first two years there (unless it's due to discrimination)

Well I have seen plenty of people working in that industry having exactely the same problem.
Because very simply, if you have customers waiting at the bar/table, you go and serve them. You don't have your break.
I mean, as a customer, would you accept to wait for. 15 or 30 mins more because the staff 'is just having a break'??

And YY legally she should have the break. But if none of the other staff are having any, she is likely to be sacked if she asks for them.

Trial shifts are a very common way for both employer and employee to find out if its a good match. A bit like a skills based interview, and not normally paid.

And no you can't call her employers.
She is the one working there, she is the one who needs to sort it if she wants to.
She is learning that that sort of job IS hard work.
She is also learning that not all employers are following the rules to the letter.
I would advise her to have a chat with her colleagues to see what is the norm where she is working. And then act accordingly. If theyball have a break at some point, then reminding her boss she needs one too is appropriate. If no one has a break or only grab one when they can if that's even possible, then I wouldn't advise to go all gun blazing demanding them to follow the law iyswim. That is if she wants to keep said job.

As a restaurant manager I would advise you not to call. There's nothing worse than someone's parent calling me and trying to get involved in their child's job. I understand it is probably quite upsetting for you but unfortunately as others have said, hospitality is like that.

The 16 and 17 year olds I work with struggled when they first started as they were not used to being on their feet for 6-8 hours a day with no breaks. Unfortunately you can't just tell the table you're serving that you would like to sit down for 15 minutes. In my restaurant we only employ under 18s as bussers as this makes their shifts shorter. Shift work is generally excluded from the working time directive.

We normally work it that other servers will watch other's tables for a few minutes to allow them to use the toilet or grab a quick snack. It takes a certain amount of resilience to work in the industry and if your daughter continues to struggle she may be better off working retail until she's a bit more able to cope.

Thank you MNers I WILL NOT contact her employers. I kind of knew it wasn't a a good idea and I have taken on board much kf what you guys have said.
She is studying too and yes she has prelims after holidays. So I sat with her to pen an availability schedule for the festive period and she has sent that. If they're not happy then they can find someone else.
Dd doesn't need to work but she does want to and she has been amazing this last year. She has gone from being very seriously anxious and avoidant of social situations to being able to go out to work and serve the public. I am beyond proud of what she has achieved already and I am happy to support her working as she feels that's what she wants to do.
I will encourage her to speak to her boss about small breaks- maybe how best to take even a toilet break where she can slip her shoes off and grab a drink.
FWIW I reckon yesterday's tears were more to do with pmt and a slight hangover... after a cuppa and some soup and an early night she was feeling much better about it all today.
Thanks again. My first AIBU and it wasn't as bad as expected!!!