Someone shit the bed

[queenmools]

We had a couple of guests sleeping in the spare bed on Friday night. I've just been in to change the covers ahead of more guests next week. When I took off the duvet I discovered a giant poo patch in the middle of one side ( human bum level.) Skiddy with lumps and some yellow stains around. One of the guests does have a digestive disorder so could be forgiven. Tiny chance it could have been the cat but doubtful as it was inside the covers. Anyway aibu to think that if you have a digestive disorder and this sort of thing happens you bloody well wear pants in someone else's bed. Also you strip the bed, you don't just leave a nasty surprise for the host. I'm just glad I decided to strip the bed between guests!

How could they not realise??

They'd be covered in it. And the aroma would be obvious.

How awful.
Could it have been your cooking?

was it definately poo and not, say make up? My daughters make up looked like a poo on her duvet once, did you do the sniff test?

...

sixthsense goodpoint, if they ate breakfast in bed, the yellow lumps could be egg and the poo, brown sauce smears

Forgive their bum fun. It's Christmas

But if it was the breakfast there would be two identical patches, surely?

This reminds me of something I'd read a while back...

Boyfriend has a sleepover at girlfriend house. Prior to this boyfriend had been having loads of fibre supplements. They'd been out for a celebratory meal and he'd had some stomach pain which he'd put down to excess wind and ignored them. Lots of alcohol was consumed by both.

Fast forward some more, boyfriend is on a promise. Girlfriend emerges from on suite wearing something skimpy, boyfriend ignores his stomach cramps and loses himself in the moment. They both fall asleep. He awakens first and realises he's had a follow through! Girlfriend is still in the land of nod! He skilfully removes his shitty pants and heads for the shower. Thinking he can clean up before she wakes up. Shower done, he returns and see's shit all over the sheets. He panicked, smeared shit up the sleeping girlfriends leg and on her underwear and bolts...

No idea of the authenticity?

OP, I hope you marinated the bedding in bleach??? Turned the mattress? Yes, if you have incidents of bum incontinence then wear the appropriate under garment and if an unavoidable accident occurs...then strip the bed and leave a note of apology!

At least you wear house-proud enough to change the bedding in the first instance! Better your shitty surprise than a guests :)

"Could it have been your cooking?"

Well, I did try to warn her about leaving that chicken out on the worktop all that time...

If it was the cat you'd have thought they would have said so.

Does your car normally own up then? What a remarkably talented animal!

Surely you know if you have shat in the bed?

Then you scrape, flush the mess, strip and gather the sheets and say oh, just thought I'd help out with the sheets.

Anything else is just gross.

OP, I hope you'll speak to them about this? 💩😷

Put a picture on Facebook with the caption, "Who's poo is this?"

Someone's bound to own up.

does bum sex really cause this sort of mess?

DNA testing perhaps?

Where's Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo when you need him?

Smeared across a sheet in a bin somewhere under a bridge Liz.

Christ, lots of poo posters around lately...

50

No, it does definitely not cause this sort of mess.

Unless you have other issues, I guess.

Oh gosh, what if it was the cat, and they thought it was you?
.... they may think you are into faeces play, and left it there as some sort of a kinky come on?!

'Tis the season to be poo trolly... #needaturdwithsantahatsmiley

Maybe they had a terrible time and this is how they register their disgust?
That has made me laugh out loud 😂

Hi OP,
Can you just clarify for me as you say "Guests" and not "friends"?
Do you rent out your rooms?
Or do you know the people?
Sorry,but I'm a bit confused.

When you next have them over leave adult nappies on the bedside table, or use throw away bed linen.