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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be bored to death of 'babies' and kids?

88 replies

Skylett81 · 18/12/2016 21:13

I'm mid 30s and my kids are both teens now. I have no interest in babies or "toddler talk" and to be honest, never really have. Even when mine were little I didn't feel the need to discuss them constantly.
Unfortunately it seems that I just can't get away from babies or toddler talk. A few weeks ago a friend and I were planning a meet up (few drinks in a bar) and she suggested we meet another friend. This other friend is Muslim so won't go in a pub so we said "fine, coffee shop would be great". Then however this other friend said that as we were meeting in a coffee shop she may as well bring her DD (who is around 15 months old). First friend then decided that if that was the case, she may as well bring her DD (roughly same age). This meet has now turned into a quick meet in coffee shop and then on to the nearby park. Now I don't want to go! It's bad enough listening to them talk babies continuously through the working day, I can't be doing with it out if work too. I was looking forward to getting together with friends, not a toddler class.

Similar thing happened last week at work. We organised a Christmas buffet for lunch time. One colleague said she was off that day but would come in if she could bring her DS (3). Cue ... many more colleagues deciding they would bring their kids so in the end the Christmas buffet resembled a bleeding kids Christmas party with toddlers fingering the good, screeching, whining etc etc - I ended up hiding away in the office and catching up with paper work.

Latest episode - we have started to plan a get together over Christmas. Idea was that it would be adults, wine and 'nibbles' however, due to family interference it has now turned into a kids Christmas party which I'm expected to organise as all anyone is interested in is bringing kids and making sure they're entertained!!

AIBU to wish I could find some like minded souls that are not obsessed with kids and babies?? The only release I get is my martial arts class which is 99% men - none of who chat babies!!

OP posts:

MyschoolMyrules · 18/12/2016 22:06

Op your friends were probably saying the same thing about you when your children were little. It's just one of those things. Children exist. Get over it. Find friends who don't have young children. Yabu.

jayisforjessica · 18/12/2016 22:07

YANBU to expect some of these outings to not revolve around the children. Balance is important, even for parents, and it's unreasonable of your friends to take what was supposed to be a grown-up coffee and catch up and turn it into a toddler free for all.

YWBU if you never wanted to see their kids ever and (as some sarcastic PP have suggested) expected them to put their kids in the cellar when you're around!! But it doesn't sound like that's what you want at all. It sounds like you just want grown up time to be for the grown ups, and you're sick of having it hijacked by the tiny ones.

Passmethecrisps · 18/12/2016 22:07

I think your friends/colleagues sound a bit bizarre. The kids to works do is hideous.

Can you be honest about just wanting some adult company? Surely some of them do as well?

mumofthemonsters808 · 18/12/2016 22:08

I'm with you Sky, I'd rather not go than sit with other people's kids, if I've managed to escape from mine I don't want to see anyone elses. I thought there was only me who felt this way.

icy121 · 18/12/2016 22:08

Fuck that. Find friends who can stick to a grown-ups plan!

DixieWishbone · 18/12/2016 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DanyellasDonkey · 18/12/2016 22:20

I'm not interested in babies either. My DC are both grown up now and a lot of my friends are becoming grandparents and gushing about it and boring everybody senseless with pictures on FB.

They are entitled to of course, but I am have no desire to be a granny, despite everyone telling me I should.

sj257 · 18/12/2016 22:23

Mindtrope, how RUDE! I when I am 35 I will have a 14 year old and a 16 year old. Nothing wow about it.

happy2bhomely · 18/12/2016 22:25

I'm 33 with a 16 yr old (and a 13, 8, 6 and 3 year old) It's unusual, but we met at 15/16 and we've been together ever since.

I met my old childhood best friend for a drink for the first time in 17 years a few weeks ago. (I moved away and changed school and we lost touch.)

She confessed, after a few drinks, that she was terrified that all I would talk about was my children (she doesn't have any yet) and she was so relieved that we still had so much in common.

Other peoples children are dull as fuck. I think my dc are wonderful, but realise that the only other people who are bothered are their father, grand parents and aunts an uncles at a push.

If I've managed to wangle an evening without mine, no way do I want to be with someone else's.

dangermouseisace · 18/12/2016 22:25

I'd recommend having a 'kid free evening', advertise it as such. It has to involve alcohol. Anyone who mentions kids/babies unless there is a REALLY good excuse (babysitter phones and tells them to come home etc) has to pick a forfeit out of a hat. It's good fun, especially if there are lots of parents there.

dangermouseisace · 18/12/2016 22:26

well maybe not 'has' to involve alcohol- 'could' involve alcohol

MapMyMum · 18/12/2016 22:28

I think you should go along to this coffee shop meet up, then fterwards message the original friend you were meeting up with and say 'that was nice BUT when can we meet up for a grown up chat with some alcoholic drinks thrown in...'

Fishcakey · 18/12/2016 22:29

You are Not being unreasonable. My lad is 11 and none of my friends were interested in him and now they all have toddlers and I am supposed to think these toddlers are all bloody wonderful when they bore the pants off me! Don't go. Stay home and drink wine.

Mamatallica · 18/12/2016 22:30

I got sick of all the kids a few years ago and threw an adults only party, it was great and most people loved the chance to behave badly and swear, why not try that?
Nowadays I'm the in the baby club and DS an I come as a package as I'm breastfeeding but I don't want to talk about babies all the time, in fact I'd love to talk about something else! I wouldn't have a problem with friends having baby-free events either, I'm happy to just not go for a couple of years, it's not a big deal, just a different stage of life.

gunting · 18/12/2016 22:34

I've got the opposite problem.. I'm 23 with a one year old. None of my friends have kids.

Every time I arrange to see my friends they ask me to bring DS. I need some friends like you, OP.

Amethyst81 · 18/12/2016 22:36

Mindtrope I'm 35 and my oldest DD is 17 next month, does your "wow" mean you judge me and others like me for being younger mums? Keep your judgements to yourself because that was unnecessary.

cosytoaster · 18/12/2016 22:38

All those saying "find friends in the same life stage as you" - must we only be friends with people with the same age/number of children as us?

That's not what I meant at all - having friends including maybe older people whose are beyond the small children stage or those with no children at all widens rather than narrows opportunities.

december10th · 18/12/2016 22:38

Other people babies and toddlers are boring to anybody but their parents.YANBU

Knittedfrog · 18/12/2016 22:40

Yanbu but just wait until they all start to become grandparents!
Every time this happens all my other friends 'welcome them to the club'.
You're not in a fucking club and I don't want to hear about your grandkids every bloody day like they're are the only kids on earth. And your not superior to me just because I'm not a grandparent and 'I wouldn't understand'.
Argghhh just fuck off!
And breathe......

SienaSun · 18/12/2016 22:49

YABU
They are all happy to bring kids to meet ups and do kid stuff together. You are in the minority but are expecting everyone else to do what you want. No one is forcing you to go, so just don't go and stop whining.

YouHadMeAtCake · 18/12/2016 22:49

YANBU. Our DC are now late teens to early and mid twenties. I have a couple of friends my age with young children and no, I don't want to go shopping or to coffee with them and their lovely but noisy DC. I don't want to sit and listen to baby/toddler whining , I want to see my friend without their offspring for once!

I also and I wonder how many others experience this, I get really cross when they treat you like you haven't been through it all before . For example, getting ready to go out , say for dinner or whatever . Oh Cake you always look so lovely , but you try doing it with a baby and a toddler . Er hello?! Are you serious . I always say loudly oh yes I remember those days! Or it's ok for you, you don't have to worry about x y or z like we do with babies/toddlers etc. Well not now no but I have done when my DC were the ages yours are now! Grrrr. Annoys me so much!

MrsMcMoo · 18/12/2016 22:54

Lol, yeah I'm secretly bored by other people's small children too, I totally get what you're saying.

AmberLav · 18/12/2016 23:01

I had lunch with a friend a couple of times last week, and I much preferred the day her 3 year old was in nursery, and that's with me having 3 of my own, the oldest two who are the same age as her two (I was working from home, so mine were all in nursery or school). So I get wanting child free time. I loved the idea of the child free cafe, an area can cope if there are a few alternatives...

Pinkandbluemcdonald5 · 18/12/2016 23:06

Yanbu, not every event needs to have children around. However I am sympathetic to single parents with no support, so happily will work round them. It's more "oh dad is tired because he was at work all week", well so was I and I could have done without the noise created over lunch. The occasion I am thinking off, was when dad went for a walk round the park. While the 1 year old went to the quiet restaurant.

PickAChew · 18/12/2016 23:07

Bit churlish to be "bored", tbh. Mine are tween/teen but I wouldn't be bothered by the occasional presence of a little one at an appropriate venue, if it makes planning for them, as parents of said small children, easier.

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