Aibu to be angry/upset (xmas gift problem)

[ShineySquirell]

Excuse if I rant a bit but this has really riled me.
It's probably gonna sound really trivial so some and also ungrateful which I am definitely not but I feel like they've really over stepped the mark here.

Basically back at the beginning of November I bought my daughter who's 3 a new doll one of the baby born ones that wee,poo cry ect etc this is her main present from myself and her dad even tho he had no bloody input into it and even tho I showed him what I bought and wrapped it right in front of him he conveniently forgot I had bought it.

So cue a just over a week ago my dh came home from work (he works with his dad) saying that today his dad has decided to get my dd a new dolls pram for xmas which I thought was great as she could use it with her new doll,but then dh added that fil is also on about getting her a doll to go with it aswell, I was not happy as I felt like why does she need 2 new dolls and also I don't want the doll fil gets to outshine the one I bought.

I thought I had made it clear to dh but today we met with fil and he has gone ahead and bought her a doll and then he went on to say oh it's a good one it wees and poos and everything !
I'm ashamed to say I lost it at dh i can't believe after what I said fil has still gone and bought it. Aibu to be upset and angry about this?

Do dolls these days actually poo too? yuck
(misses point)

I see a lot of you think I'm being really unreasonable here and I get that dd can have more than one doll I had lots as a child and dd already has 2 different ones already that's not my issue my two main issues I think is that 1. dh doesn't seem to actually listen or care about anything I say my feelings are invalid as long as fil is happy and 2. As I said dd has lots of dolls but I feel as tho getting the exact same one within hours of one another isn't right surely? If someone says oh I've already got her that then the other persons "normal" reaction would be sorry I'll get something else, not oh that's fine she can have 2 especially when he hasn't even picked it up from the shop yet and mines been wrapped for over a month now.

so you bought something a month and a half ago and you are upset that your dh didnt remember?

total over reaction

2 dolls is fine

YABVU

"Basically back at the beginning of November I bought my daughter who's 3 a new doll one of the baby born ones that wee,poo cry ect etc this is her main present from myself and her dad even tho he had no bloody input into it and even tho I showed him what I bought and wrapped it right in front of him he conveniently forgot I had bought it. "

" As I said dd has lots of dolls but I feel as tho getting the exact same one within hours of one "

eh?

I think it's an over reaction for what is just a doll. I can't remember my name some days let alone what my DH brought months ago!

2/3/4/100 dolls what diffrence does it make in my experience they chew them, throw the around

oh ignore me - read it completely wrong!! you are talking about when she gets given it!

why does she need 2 new dolls and also I don't want the doll fil gets to outshine the one I bought

OP, it's not about you, it's about your daughter.

This goes for everything, now that you're a parent.

Was it Mumsnet you were looking for?

Shadow what is your issue with what I've said sorry, I have trouble explaining things at times

X post shadow

You are still coming across as unreasonable

Your DH can't make his dad buy something different

No but he could back me up once in a while when it comes to fil

It's just a doll, it's a lot of fuss about a doll.

If DH brought something and wrapped it 1-2 months ago I probably wouldn't remember either, I can't remember absolutely everything DH ever says to me.

Presumably your DD will open your doll first so FIL's doesn't actually impact on your DD's surprise or happiness with your gift. Although at 3, your DD will probably prefer playing with the box or some random stocking filler if she is anything like my DC
You can set yourself up for a lifetime of competing with your FIL or you can take a deep breath and know that nothing he buys your DD will make him more important than you.

I agree with you OP, having two of the same toy given to your DD hours apart is silly, can you not phone FIL and explain that you already have the same doll bought and wrapped? Tell him the pram is plenty and she'll be over the moon with it.

Sorry misread, I see your FIL is aware that you already have that doll. In that case you'll just have to go with it, unfortunately you can't stop him buying it.... however irritating it is.

Aplaceonthecouch thank you that comment helped me calm alot your right I know you are
I think this is just a nail in a very big coffin of issues I have with fil tbh I know I probably over reacted but I feel that I can constantly being undermined by him and he away goes way over the top with gifts and I sometimes can't compare as I don't have that kinda money and I know that's not what xmas is all about at all and I should be greatfill dcs have such a generous gf but young kids although they see love also see material things and it hurts sometimes that he can get them things I cannot

There are loads of different ones that wee and poo. My DD had a toysRUs one, and a £12 Argos one, and neither were the same as Baby Born / Baby Annabel.

I do get why you are upset, I really do, but I'm sure your DD will love your gift and having a second baby too will make it more special, not less.

My 10 year old had an Our Generation doll last year and guess what was top of her christmas list this year? Another one to be her friend. It won't make the first one less special, it'll open up the play possibilities hugely. Honestly.

Thanks jellybean glad someone sees where I am coming from.

sorry op - i tried to get the explaining i'm an idiot post up quickly, but obviously was too slow - apologies!!

Your father in law has done a lovely thing though, not many blokes are good at buying this sort of thing, you're all very lucky, I don't see what the " back me up against father in law " is in this scenario, he won't have duplicated on purpose. I also doubt your husband did anything on purpose, its kind of easy to forget the exact type of doll.

Honestly you're being very unreasonable here. Your father in law sounds lovely and your daughter is a lucky girl.

Twins!! Aww, your DD will be thrilled.

Wow you are acting ridiculously! You're concerned about being "outshone" by your FIL to your 3 yr old!! I can't believe how ungrateful and immature you sound. Your daughter would love to have twin dolls, and if you tell FIL you have already bought her that doll he may wish to return it and get something else anyway. You are so lucky to have such a generous, kind FIL. You need to chill.

The bitch in me would tell Fil and DH that as DD already has a doll that pees anad poos that you will give FIL's doll to a toybank/charity shop.

I agree that getting two of the same present, regardless of what that is, is a bit silly though as a 3 year old she probably won't even notice. the best solution is for FIL to return the doll and just give the pram, which will compliment the doll you've bought nicely.

Did you actually have a conversation with FIL to explain you have the same doll for dd and can/will he return it and replace it with something else like cot,outfits,accessories etc if he wants to,if not the pram is more than enough?