To not understand how they can simply assume people are oblivious to what's going on

[Rocky246]

I'll jump straight in. I'be believed for a while that a friend of mine is committing benefit fraud. She and her partner have three children. They bought a home together, lived in it for a while and then announced they were splitting up for good this time (they were strangely always on and off). He moved out of the house and she remained for a while until she secured a private rented property. This was two years ago. Her partner moved a mere mile away and is living with his grandad and they both continue to live like a couple. There are tons of reasons why it doesn't seem right but I'd be here all day. Basically people in her family and mutual friends of ours have noticed how "friendly" her and her ex still are (I know that's allowed but in this case it's way ott) and they all believe that they are living the way they for convieniencr but also so that they can fiddle benefits. He works full time self employed and she is a sahm with the children.

I've been drifting apart from her for a while as I believe she is lying to me and spinning me a load of bull and quite frankly I can't be doing with it. I haven't spoken to her in a couple of weeks but her cousin has told me something that just seems odd. Apparently they are letting their house get repossessed. The mortgage hasn't been paid for months since their tenant left but her partner earns a decent wage, isn't paying any rent at his grandad's house so would easily afford the mortgage. Well I've figured it out (it's not hard) they simply don't want to pay the mortgage anymore. She gets most of rent payed by the council and he doesn't pay anything at all to his granddad. So between them they won't have a full rent/mortgage I pay and will therefore have plenty of spare cash.

I just think it's all bollocks but the funny thing is they assume that everyone around them has just fallen for it and believe what they say. They both apparently don't want to have any shared finances and want to be independent. But the amazing thing with that is they still live in each other's pockets, go on short breaks together, out for meals, etc etc. They are a couple and just won't admit so they can gain financially. Aibu to not contact her anymore? I detest liars but for her to lie to her family is just disgusting. She wants sympathy and is playing her part of the distressed single parent well but I have a nose for bullshit and as it appears so do most of her family.

It's clearly affecting you deeply.

I think repossession goes against you in social housing, it is seen as making yourself homeless so your friend may be in for a shock, if what you say is correct.

If you feel your friend is being dishonest then walk away.

Lying manipulative selfish person
I don't dislike her much

If the house hasn't been repossessed yet, why is she in rented? Any council officer will ensure you stay in your home until you've exhausted every single possible avenue before eviction.

You said he's on a decent wage and then said its substantial? Which is it? Have you seen his tax returns?

Sorry but I think the cousin is possibly not telling you the truth.

If you think she's committing fraud then report her so it can be properly investigated.

don't particularly dislike her

Sorry.

sooty I know, right?

Imagine how OP feels about her actual enemies?? I expect they're cooked and eaten.

This may be the least festive MN post today...

You have two choices report and walk away, don't report and walk away.

It's not fraud unless he's living there and she says he isn't which is clearly not the case. It also is irrelevant about car insurance and phone contracts. All the HMRC care about is who is living at the property and the income. She isn't actually doing anything wrong (legally). So report her if you like but nothing will come of it. You're not a friend to her and it's not your place to judge whether her other friends want to listen to her problems, that's up to them. Just walk away and forget about her.

Joffreys

Not just me then!!

With all due respect about the 'too friendly" thing, DS1's Dad and I spent a lot of time together when we first split up; DS1 was 5 months old so it was natural we'd both want to be there as often as possible. It's perfectly acceptable to split up from someone and remain on great terms. He still spends a large amount of time with us as a family despite me remarrying and him having a DP. Our families will always go for meals and trips out together because our lives will always be intertwined. It doesn't mean anything sinister is going on.

You sound as though you've made your choice. Walk away, but don't hoist those judgy pants up any higher or they might strangle you.

Oh, how delightful, a benefits thread for Christmas.

1. you don't really know what's going on.
2. Most of what you posted is bullshit.
3. It's unlikely that she's getting housing benefit if she is on the mortgage deeds for the house.
4. She could get help with the mortgage were she in the house.
5. So, she's in a long term relationship. He is still living at his grandad's house. Ergo, she's allowed to claim as a single parent. Now, fuck off and get a life.

They don't live together. DWP classes people as a couple who live together, not people who used to live together broke up and moved out but still see each other. Do you know how many people still jump back into their exes bed? Tons..doesn't make them a couple. Even people in actual relationships who don't live together aren't classed as a couple by DWP, because they aren't exactly going to be better off financially and splitting the rent, utility bills, food bills etc. They're living as single people.
And really, letting their house get repossessed ..No. I really doubt that. Benefits are hardly going to mean they'll be rolling in it, so really not worth letting a house be repossessed for a pathetic amount of money. Doesn't make any sense.

Just mind your own business.
If i remember correctly, I was just recently reading some very old threads, and you'd had one before telling this story. You need to get a life and stop letting your life be consumed by watching what this woman is doing.

It depends. I don't know how deeply it's investigated these days, but when I was there, if both people were registered at separate addresses and living there, then they aren't a couple for tax credit purposes.

If they have children they can't really avoid seeing each other.

You can't very well plonk toddlers under the big clock at the station for the other parent to pick up at a designated time.

It's nice to be on friendly terms with your children's father not that I would know.

"" If you are going to continue to live like a couple then why not just be one. Ah right the money, that's why.""

My DD had 'breaks' from her DP. He was lazy in the house and doesn't pull his weight with their DD. They get on great, when my DD has no expectations of him, they can't live together.

They've split for good now, but still go out for tea etc. My DD finds life easier as a LP, than trying to make it work, whilst living with him. He'll give her a kiss when they part (after being out), it's a shame. He's a Pot smoker, though.

The new benefit rules around CTC stopping after two, is making Women make this type of decision. The option to try again, isn't one that they can consider.

I don't believe that they're letting their house get repossessed.

She'd have to be very short sighted and putting a lot of faith in her ex, because otherwise she's going to be left on her arse, during her youngest teen years.

You are totally off your nut. You have just made all of this up in your head. What has it got to do with you if they are or aren't together properly?? What has their spare cash got to do with you. You sound very very jealous and bitter

Dawndonnaagain is there any reason to tell the OP to fuck off? She's allowed an opinion and I'm shocked at your reply. If you don't agree just scroll on.

Why wouldn't they just sell the house? Makes no sense at all. You need yo mind your own.

Because if they sell the house the council would consider them making themselves intentionally homeless and not entitled to social housing.

Whatever the truth of the situation, I loathe cheats so would report them and let the benefits people decide for themselves. If they are cheating they are effectively stealing from people who work hard and pay their taxes which is unacceptable.

sounds to me like you have a thing for the bloke tbh

1. it's none of your business
2. she'd be well rid of you so do her a favour
3. opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one and some stink

Your opinion isn't fact. You've not proven fraud so just MYOB, do friend a favour by keeping well away from her, with friends like you she doesn't need enemies.

if this is genuine in the first place

If a friend of mine was committing benefit fraud, I'd be pissed off too. I've had to fight hard for the benefits I get, so why should someone be allowed to blag it. Also, why is everyone jumping on the OP and telling her to mind her own business? Nasty.
I bet you lot watch benefit porn on channel 5 and watch it disapproving

Tooclever

I don't think my comments are anything like as nasty as this thread. Presumably you know where the report button is. And I've never watched any of the programmes you describe.