To be embarrassed by DH last night?

[BlessThisMess]

DH and I went to DD's music concert at school last night. At times, the music was overly loud and I was uncomfortable with it, but I was somewhat embarrassed to see DH blatantly sticking his fingers in his ears for the duration of the loud performances. Is it reasonable to find this rude or is he merely taking care of his own physical health regardless of how it looks? He is in his 60s and has tinnitus, if that makes any difference.

Yabu- he has a health condition that can be made worse by loud noise. Who cares what anyone else thought, he wasn't doing it to be rude.

Fairly certain no one would care.

Yabu, poor man was in pain, and it could affect him in a long lasting way.

If he has tinnitus he should really carry ear plugs with him.

Get him some custom molded clear ear plugs for xmas. You can hardly tell you've got them in.

I think he was acting reasonably. His pain trumps your minor embarrassment.

Yes I would say its a bit rude, buy him ear plugs next time and tell him he embarrassed you :-)

No one would care. Loud noises cause me physical pain. Maybe take some ear plugs next time if you want to be discreet.

I think it looks bad as people don't realise the underlying reason and will just think he is being rude
Get the ear plugs!

I suppose it would also depend on how discreet he was, did he have them jammed In with his elbows sticking out?

I wouldnt care if I saw someone doing this so dont understand why you think its rude.

Personally I hate the sound of children playing musical instruments and sometimes their singing. If I could I'd have my fingers in my ears.
I wonder if it's because I used to be a teacher and had to help at concerts.

Seeing as tinnitus is generally caused by loud noises and he will have and continue to lose hearing because of it which will happen quicker with further exposure to loud noise, not forgetting the pain he was likely to be in because of it..... well yeah. Yabu. But maybe you can talk about something you can do next time to make it less noticeable. Ear plugs for example.

I think any kids performing who noticed might care if they'd seen, though I don't suppose they did. We were fairly near the front though. Elbows not sticking out though!

My teenage DDs went to see a band earlier this month, and both used those little wax earplugs. They can barely be seen, but reduce the sound by 20-odd decibels.

Neither had any kind of tinnitus afterwards (temporary or otherwise), and both of them considered any embarrassment of using them to be a lesser evil than possible hearing loss.

Everyone around would have known that the music was uncomfortably loud, so I don't think anyone would have thought him rude.

pain is worse than embarrasment but unless you sprung a concert on him at the last minute it would have been nice if he'd been a bit more considerate about it

so...

YABU
and
YANBU

Hmm, I used 'though' a lot there, lol!

I suppose we expected it to be all classical/brass as it has been before but they had some amplified guitar and singing this time which caused the problem.

YABVVU!

You and your kids should be more than primed to just say "Oh yes! Poor dad. He has tinnitus. I'm surprised he managed to stay so long. His ears mustn't half be ringing today!"

Embarrassed? Yes, but of him

Better than the dad next to DH who spent the duration on the concert on facebook on his phone we were extremely judgy about that!

If he has tinnitus, the fact that loud noises bother him shouldn't still be a surprise to him? I'd say it was rude to sit there sticking his fingers in his ears like a toddler rather than having had the foresight to bring ear plugs.

Oh poor man. Sorry to hear about his health condition. He'd be well within reason to wear noise cancelling headphones. It's a shame you're embarrassed, but that's not his fault.

I have hyperacusis (extreme sensitivity to noise that causes me intense physical pain and discomfort), and I always carry earplugs for this exact kind of scenario. If it's really loud, I often find I can actually hear a bit more clearly with earplugs, as they cut out background noise and feedback.

I understand why you're embarrassed - if he's had tinnitus for a while, and knows how it affects him and what makes it worse, he should be a little better prepared. Fingers in ears IS a bit toddlerish.

Just to add, my hyperacusis was actually CAUSED by excessively loud gigs, so protecting your hearing at these things is vital, particularly if you have existing issues with it.

It's not rude at all. My husband suffered from severe, intractable tinnitus which made even normal levels of noise sometimes unbearable. If your husband had his fingers disreetly in his ears there is nothing to be embarrassed about.