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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to dislike 'Look how many presents my children have' posts?

133 replies

LooptheL00p · 15/12/2016 13:32

I've just seen the first one of the year pop up on Facebook, a picture of a living room absolutely full of toys, not even wrapped yet, captioned 'How am I going to wrap all of this?!'. I feel a (possibly unreasonable) amount of disdain towards these pictures!
I don't really mind how many presents people buy for their children, or if the pictures are more about the pretty wrapping/Christmas magic. But 'Look how much I've bought'?! It just seems common and somewhat of a pointless competition of oneupmanship to post online 🙄. Am I crazy or does this irritate others as well?

OP posts:

Manumission · 15/12/2016 14:50

It's just one of those modern "why do they do that? Is it me or them?" things dong.

If you're so much in favour of photos that deliberately focus on the quantity of presents, why don't you explain the positive case to us?

ghostspirit · 15/12/2016 14:54

I looked in my crystal ball. It says there will be lots of what we have for xmas threads. Mum in law threads. New year party/fireworks complaint type threads.

ShelaghTurner · 15/12/2016 14:56

Now mince pies. Those I do care about. My mother had some lush rhubarb and ginger ones yesterday. She only let me have one

dingdongthewitchishere · 15/12/2016 14:57

Manumission

I am not intending to be the FB police. I am in favour of people posting what they want on their wall, and I would advise haters to stay away if they find themselves irritated, full of rage or envy when they see something.

I have never started to count how many presents are on my friends' photos. I am not that petty. If people are having a competition on the amount of gifts they bought, it's totally lost on me. I never feel annoyed by something posted on FB or Instagram or wherever, I just scroll past and forget about it.

Manumission · 15/12/2016 15:05

I wish I was oblivious to weirdness ding.It sounds like a gift.

Weird is a flame and I am the moth and I'm terminally curious about why?

shelagh they sound divine. Does one make them or buy them? (And why wouldn't she share?)

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/12/2016 15:09

I have never seen a post like that in the decade I've been on facebook. If did and I was feeling bitchy I might counter with a photo of a stocking looking exceedingly unstuffed and a card in the background with our family appointment to serve Christmas lunch to the homeless then a "Oh no, have I missed the point of Christmas?" caption.

Which would be equally pathetic, but at least provide a counter. and make me feel superior in the least Christmassy way possible for a brief time

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 15/12/2016 15:14

I've never seen photos of piles of unwrapped presents on FB.

Several photos of everything heaped under & around the tree after Santa has "been" each year though.

I'm not sure any of them are "bragging" posts.

When it comes to MN, I much prefer the "oops I've bought my DC too much" posts to the "I could easily afford a Ferrari & a pony for my DCs but would only ever buy them a satsuma and a book. Gifts are vulgar." type of judgey post.

Each to their own.

Alabastard · 15/12/2016 15:25

Check out a few mummy groups on facebook. Piles of toys with the caption "have I spent enough?" followed by a moan about child benefit not being paid early enough.

I'm just a bitter single parent though.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 15/12/2016 15:55

I don't like sneering at people, I'm just not going to fall over myself 'liking' posts which clearly are about bragging and showing off. Its how you say things on fb. Big difference between sharing a photo of an excited kid unwrapping a gift and the ones the op described.

MiladyThesaurus · 15/12/2016 16:07

I'm always deeply disappointed that my FB is never full of the stuff people complain about on MN. I miss out entirely photos of present mounds they're at risk of being buried alive by and have to live vicariously through AIBU whinges about them.

I'm pretty sure present mountains are more interesting than puritanical nonsense about getting your children a pair of socks, a satsuma and an (educational) book for Christmas and feeling that you might have overdone it and are worried about spoiling the kids*.

*note: it's not the actual present list that's the issue; it's the smug attitude.

Goldenhandshake · 15/12/2016 16:10

There is one culprit I know who posts pics like this, and then 'after' shots with all the gifts perfectly arrange so you can see exactly what has been received and the child has to pose next to the display, she does it on their birthdays too and I find it utterly bizarre! Especially the precisely arranged after shots.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 15/12/2016 16:10

I left Facebook for this exact reason - there's too much oneupmanship going on.

A Facebook friend (ie not a real life friend) used to post details of her entire day from start to finish. "Having a lie in with my boys", "having breakfast before heading to work xox", "having a nightmare of a day...argh!" etc etc...about 20 to 30 updates a day. It was fascinating really. A real insight in to the inner workings of a Facebook addict/narcissist.

Oblomov16 · 15/12/2016 16:16

Don't like it. Don't like it for birthdays, Christmas, or any other time.

Crunchymum · 15/12/2016 16:16

I have a few of my kid (s) in front of the tree with the presents from over the years.

I'm not on FB though and they aren't shared anywhere.... for me it's more of a 'capture the excitement before they tear into everything' as opposed to showing off.

Yoarchie · 15/12/2016 16:17

You need to delete Facebook. Everyone should delete Facebook. It's evil

Anyway...I don't really mind what people get their kids. I'm not getting mine piles because we already own every toy in creation. Large family, birthday parties, I am already overwhelmed with stuff and I don't like it. Kids don't mind, plus are just old enough to like branded clothing and money as presents which is great as I don't mind useful stuff. I do think Christmas is completely out of control and is a consumerism hell. I'm not that religious, don't go church regularly although I do believe in God but this sort of explosion of presents makes me want to go to church so this year I am going to go.

nokidshere · 15/12/2016 19:17

It doesn't bother me what people put on their fb to be honest, I skim read and like most things because why not if it makes people happy? I don't really see why people get upset about it at all - surely we all know by now it's not real life?

I don't post often and if I do it's boring stuff for my family members.

MrsMattBomer · 15/12/2016 19:38

LagunaBubbles

Because she was the parent of a kid DS1 used to play football with. I only kept her because she was the type of person to take personal offence if anyone deleted her. At least her blocking me meant she couldn't complain.

MrsMattBomer · 15/12/2016 19:39

And obviously, I don't care what other people do with their kids. It's not that irritates me, it's the type of "#makingmemories" person who acts like anyone who isn't capturing every waking moment of Christmas and sharing it online, or who doesn't buy thousands of presents, is somehow an inferior parent.

MrsMattBomer · 15/12/2016 19:41

The hilarious thing is I know I spend way too much on my kids - we can afford it and we like to spoil them a bit as they're good kids. But I just don't like posting it all over facebook - that's the element I find vulgar, not actually going overboard and spending loads.

MiladyThesaurus · 15/12/2016 20:03

In my experience the volume of the resent pile is inversely related to their age. Stuff toddlers want is enormous and you can create a gigantic pile of not very many boxes for not very much money. Even if you are trying to be all parsimonious you can end up with a present mountain.

Then they get older and they want stuff that costs a lot but comes in small boxes. So you spend a fortune and you have a tiny pile to show for it. You could easily spend hundreds (for example) on an iPhone and some PS4 games and the pile would not look at all impressive.

So you can't really tell if it's extravagant by the size of the pile and should probably put the judges-pants away.

malificent7 · 15/12/2016 21:30

There is clearly some kind of class snobbery going on here :

Working class (chavs)- displays of wealth so lets say an x box and BMX plus loads of tat from Pound land. (netmums)

Middle class-tasteful, educational (possibly wooden) toys from John Lewis (and would never post on Facebook as too vulgar). But so smug and self-righteous. (mumsnet)

Live and let live eh? I don't feel comfortable with rampant consumerism but I know dd will love the pile of crap I've got her from The Works.

I don't like the boasting though. Or comparisons.

Manumission · 15/12/2016 21:37

You think conspicuous consumption is the preserve of the working classes?!

ghostspirit · 15/12/2016 21:37

As long as everyone is happy that's all that matters.

Manumission · 15/12/2016 21:38

So wise ghost

MistressMerryWeather · 15/12/2016 21:45

I have wooden toys and crap from Poundland this year.

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