To want guests to remove their shoes when walking through my house?

[MummyLizH]

Not sure if I'm particularly bothered by this because it's mainly the in-laws who do it, but most people know I expect shoes off as you walk through the front door.

I've mentioned it to dh a few times, I think he thinks I'm just picking at his parents behaviour, but it makes my blood boil... I clean and hoover my home, invite you round and you tread your dirty shoes all over the floor which me and my kids sit and play on (and my little girl crawls around on) . My parents have the decency to bring their slippers!

I think a lot of things stem from delicate flooring like wood (stilettos can wreck it) and particularly laminate, plus fixed carpets which were more effort to clean than rugs (pre electric carpet cleaners). Tiles are obviously more hard wearing!

Obviously the upper classes didn't care because servants solved the problem.

Having nice things makes one want to keep them nice. Being in a rented house with a high deposit and cream carpets just causes the fear!

I think shoes off is more common in colder, wetter places - snow is a nightmare for sticking then melting and obviously mud is a problem too.

"Keep up the good work, ladies and gentlemen! I am delighted to know my pearls of wisdom are being remembered, my Sheridan would be proud."

"Ah, vicar, I'm sorry I had to ask you to remove your shoes. I usually only insist on tradesmen doing that, but we've just had our herringbone re-lacquered."

Richard: "Oh yes, I have to take my shoes off. I once left a mark on the wood block, in 1968."

So for all those people who are bemoaning the lack of manners of people who don't take their shoes off, it's worth bearing in mind that there are other people who think you are the ones with no manners, if you remove your shoes when you come into their house.

^^ this

My sister once was on at me to take my shoes of - in my own house - because her inlaws were popping round for a family thing (we know them quite well) I don't mind taking my shoes off in someone's house, I usually do, I don't mind being asked even. I think it was summer and I probably had little flip flops on or something so had prob left them on nipping in and out of the garden plus they were sparkly and matched my outfit I sort of resent being told to do it in my own bloody house though!

"How many of the "shoes off" camp remove their shoes when they get to work, go to a shop, bank, cafe etc? If not, why not?"

Obviously no, because those places are not homes where DC roll around playing on the floor and their owners might want to walk around comfortably barefoot or in socks.

If you care so much about wearing your pretty shoes in other people's homes, bring clean ones to change into. Otherwise, take the stick out and just enjoy being comfirtable like everyone else there.

Our wooden floor is parquet. All open planned. And it's rented. Our deposit is ginormous. If someone came in and scratched the floor with their shoes our repair bill would be huge, and I'm sure our guests wouldn't want any off that bill past on to them.

Our dinner parties are not super formal anyway. They are the time when friends arrive at 8pm with their own children and babies also. So their own children will also likely be playing, laying or sleeping on the floor at some point.

I have a small office with staff. Everyone has their own slippers they leave under their desks also. So most the day everyone is walking around in slippers. It's comfier surely? It's not official everyone has to take shoes off but everyone does as they have usually been walking in rain, mud or on tubes to get there. Most wear comfy shoes to office, and have a small smart pair left at work should they have to go meet clients at all. But within office it's just us in comfy slippers.

This children crawling angst. What about baby and toddler groups or the garden or, god forbid, the house of a shoes-on slattern? Do you put down a groundsheet or something?

I always take my shoes off. I live in a really wet part of the UK and it's just really muddy otherwise.

I spent two years in Japan, I loved the whole strict shoes off and slippers regime. It felt so much cleaner. I usually kick my dhoes off when I come in.

Mostly laminate or lino in this house, except for bedrooms.

I don't ask or expect unless someone's shoes are particularly muddy. I've been asked very, very occasionally. I work as a CPN and occasionally have been asked by clients, usually Muslims now I think of it.

Sometimes I wear shoes at home, sometimes not. I do find it more comfortable to go around it my socks but it's not automatic.

What do the shoes off brigade do for workmen, who's shoes areoften protective (I wouldn't like to drop a hammer on bare feet.). Or wwhat if you're having a barbie orthe kids are playing in the garden? Do you really have the kerfuffle of shoes on-off-on every time you want the loo or a drink?

I always wear slippers when am at home because I don't like walking round in shoes am more comfortable in my slippers but I don't expect people to take their shoes off when they come to mine I have laminet floor though so it's very easy to clean if it gets dirty.

No I do not expect guests to take their shoes off.

However odd, I think it is to ask your guests to remove their shoes, it's your house, so your rules. Therefore YANBU

What do the shoes off brigade do for workmen, who's shoes areoften protective (I wouldn't like to drop a hammer on bare feet)

Most, if not all of the people who come to do work in our house have those blue over shoe covers that they put on. Most of them do so without even being asked.

Or what if you're having a barbie or the kids are playing in the garden?

Same thing still applies. There's cat poo in our garden (I try and clean it up regularly but there are loads of cats in our neighbourhood and none of the methods I've tried to scare them away have worked so far) and I don't want it being brought in.
If they're playing in the garden and need a wee they just go but our downstairs loo is right next to the back door so you don't have to actually really come into the house to use it.

I'm not bothered if people feel uncomfortable being asked to take their shoes off. I feel uncomfortable if they leave them on and sit there chatting away on the sofa. I can't wait for them to leave
Regardless of whether you don't step in dog shit or mud, you are still bringing in dirt; just move your sofas and compare that area of carpet to see just how much dirt makes a difference

Someone earlier said they felt most comfortable in houses where they kept their shoes on but I'm the opposite. I'm comfortable where I arrive and the people are in socks or slippers. That says to me that they're more likely to be fairly clean people and I'm not going to be sticking to the floor as I walk or wondering what I'm going to step in. I'll also be able to relax and tuck my (non-smelly) feet (in socks) under me while I'm sat on the sofa - then I'll be feeling more at home. You can't do that in shoes.

All this 'it's common to remove your shoes' business is a load of nonsense. You'd rather have dirty floors than risk being seen as common?

As a couple of people have said, it's the norm to remove your shoes in many other countries. They have slippers waiting for each family member at the door, and these are as comfortable (or more so) than outdoor shoes.

I have always taken my shoes off in peoples houses and people have always taken them off in mine. Nobody ever needed to ask me as its the norm where I'm from (London) and I've never needed to ask anyone. I didn't realise anyone would think its OK to walk outside dirt into someones house or be offended if they weren't allowed to. There are a lot of dirty, entitled people out there it seems. Glad I don't know any of them. My friends and I get plastic runners for parties or building works. Other than that its a non issue.

I always ask people if they'd like me to remove my shoes.

My parents are the biggest culprits and always tread wet/ dirty footprints down the laminate hallway. Last time just after we had our (now almost 3 week old) baby. So we had that to clean as well as dealing with a newborn and 6yo. Pil always take theirs off.

This brings to my no the Sex and the City episode where Carrie is made to take her shoes off at a party and someone steals them.

*brings to mind

I can't believe people think it's ok to walk all over someone's carpet with shoes from outside!! If you do that everyday surely you just have disgusting filthy carpets?! We have wooden floors downstairs so fine people can wear their shoes if they want to, I can sweep and mop after. But we've got a rug where the children sit and play, or lie on to watch telly. If someone casually walks over it in shoes it makes me seethe, I think that's so rude! I always take my shoes off in people's home & don't care if that makes me common

I would never ask guests to take their shoes off. I loathe carpets anywhere but bedrooms. I think they are unhygienic. I have stone and wood floors downstairs in my home. I guarantee it is cleaner than any carpet.

OP:

It's rude. And common. Would the aristocracy do it? No?? I wonder why...

The excuses trotted out about the copious amounts of mud etc being brought in onto the precious carpets!? Oh perlease! You are just someone who wants other people to walk shoeless in your little house. Frankly, I would rather mud than the idea of possibly sweaty feet on the floor coverings.

Oh and don't you have a decent doormat?

Ican't believe people think it's ok to walk all over someone's carpet with shoes from outside!! If you do that everyday surely you just have disgusting filthy carpets?!

Yes we're all complete slatterns who don't know how to clean and have unsanitary houses!