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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to get so stressed in the build up to Christmas that I don't enjoy it?

39 replies

sj257 · 13/12/2016 16:18

I find it really difficult and stressful. I'm constantly second guessing presents that I've bought/not bought for my kids, I end up panic buying and spending more than intended. My kids are great and know it's not all about presents it's just me!? I'm worried they'll be disappointed, even though theyd never say if they were. I end up not enjoying it at all as I feel so stressed! My christmas tree is annoying me too, I think I feel this pressure for everything to be perfect and obviously it never is! Plas tell me I'm not the only one who is like this at christmas?!

OP posts:

Original poster

sj257 · 13/12/2016 16:18

*Please

OP posts:

Whitelinen1 · 13/12/2016 16:53

Do you have a partner? Can he help?

specialsubject · 13/12/2016 17:01

Ignore pressure. And why so early ? Decs will go up in this house next weekend and stay until Jan 6. This tatmas in September thing is why it gets so boring.

Disappointed kids are brats. Sounds like your kids are anything but, so no problem.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 13/12/2016 17:08

My Christmas tree is annoying me sorry that made me laugh .

I get a bit stressed too, I have a huge family with lots of nieces and nephews on both sides and a limited budget and older kids who are difficult to buy for. Everything always works out fine despite my worrying.
Try to remember it doesn't have to be perfect, your tree doesn't have to look like something off the tv and it's just one day. It doesn't have to be like the films.

EveOnline2016 · 13/12/2016 17:11

I'm working all over the Christmas period so I have the stress and not the relaxing Christmas Day as I will be in work.

This time of year my depression and anxiety is through the roof.

Rainydayspending · 13/12/2016 17:13

I recommend an evening doing NOTHING related to Christmas. Relax. Enjoy.

Arfarfanarf · 13/12/2016 17:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

sj257 · 13/12/2016 19:28

Thanks, I know what I need to do, I'm really trying but finding it difficult. I have anxiety too, that probably doesn't help. I'm also 35 weeks pregnant, think everything is getting a bit much. My hubby doesn't do anything Christmas wise apart from help me wrap! I'm really going to try and chill.

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Ginmakesitallok · 13/12/2016 19:32

The one good thing about dd having had an op last week (apart of course from her knee problem getting fixed!) Is that we are pretty much just letting christmas happen this year - there really are bigger things to worry about than the christmas dinner (but when in hell am I going to get the turkey???????

MaverickSnoopy · 13/12/2016 19:46

Eugh I feel your pain. We're hosting with overnight guests. We have new baby and we (plus kids) currently have bronchitis.

Still have some presents to buy and all food etc. Lots of chores to do including half decorated living room.

I was planning to get the chores done this week to free up time for fun with the kids but it's looking unlikely. Currently snuggled in bed with poorly baby hoping for sleep...

I'm going to really think about what I HAVE to do vs what I'd LIKE to do. I think it's the only way forward and recommend to you.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 13/12/2016 19:46

Think about it - it's just ONE day. Only one. With just a roast dinner only with a few extra nice bits. People get so get up about providing the perfect presents, dinner etc for everyone that they forgot what it's all about. I'm not religious at all but I like the cosy family feeling that Christmas Day brings. All Wearing silly hats out of crackers (no-one gets away with not wearing one), playing box games when usually you don't make the time or effort to, the knowledge that up and down the land people will be doing the same sort of thing (if they're lucky) and having mini disasters with lumpy gravy etc just like me, but not really giving a shit cos they've had some wine and anyway, it's Christmas - who cares about a few lumps in the gravy?

It's a day when I feel so thankful for what I have, everyone's health etc, so trivial details and "perfection" don't bother me. And anyone that moans about things not being "perfect" can do one. Miserable buggers.,

Bless you,OP, your hormones are getting the better of you! You're probably in nesting mode and just want everything to be perfect ready for your baby. I remember almost crying to my mum that the windows needed cleaning just before I gave birth to DS1. He's a teenager now, and I can't remember when I last cleaned the windows!!! But it seemed so important at the time....

It will all be FINE. I promise you.

Thinkingblonde · 13/12/2016 20:06

Just to put things into perspective a family I know of came home from a friends house on Sunday to find several fire men and fire appliances attempting to stop their house from burning down. They've lost everything. The fire was an electrical fault which burned through the ceiling and gutted upstairs. If they had been home they'd have been trapped and probably died. They and their two small children are so lucky.
Now that is stressful.

ccoleman90 · 13/12/2016 20:10

Christmas is definitely stressful and I'd say there's no need to put yourself through so much pressure, but most people do it! I'm currently wondering if my neighbours are judging me because most of them have gone crazy with the Christmas lights outside and my house looks plain with just lights inside!

Christmas isn't about presents, just try to enjoy the time with your family

mummc2 · 13/12/2016 20:19

I'm usually really organised as I work in retail and buy presents early wrap and usually everything is done or ordered before December starts...... However this year completely different my brother very unexpectedly passed away in the 6 weeks holidays and everything since has been a blur!! Somethings I have realised (apart from I'm an emotional eater - it's on my New Years resolution list!!). Life is too short to stress things will get done and everybody will be happy even if you forget something. I'm having just in laws for Xmas and it's just a roast with a couple of extras really. I have only just ordered my oldest DDs present today and still haven't bought the bracket for youngest dd tv. My hubby works very long hours so I do everything for Xmas and even though I'm a little panicky right now about a couple of things I know it will be OK!! Just try and relax and enjoy your family xx

YouTheCat · 13/12/2016 20:20

Next year make a list of presents and stick to it. Buy early if you can. Even wrap and label as you go to avoid the last minute rush of wrapping.

Plan food. Buy long life stuff ahead of time. I have a small notebook that I write it all in - to do lists, etc. I tick things off as they're wrapped.

Christmas does not have to be perfect.

I'm a bit late with my stuff this year as I've still got a bit of wrapping to do but I like to be reasonably organised so I know I can relax once I finish work next Wednesday.

Original poster

sj257 · 13/12/2016 20:33

Thanks xx I'm well aware people have shite things happen to them and I'm lucky, I do know that and I feel awful about letting such a trivial thing get to me, but when my anxiety takes hold it is sometimes difficult to find some perspective. I think I am finding it difficult as there is a possibility I'm going to be induced early so I'm trying (and failing miserably) to nest as well as sort Christmas.

I also used to be very organised and would have finished the shopping ages ago. Need to make sure I do that next year!

Thanks everyone xxx

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mummc2 · 13/12/2016 20:35

Hormones are probably raging right now and Xmas might feel like the thing that's gonna break you but stay strong not long left 💐

Thinkingblonde · 13/12/2016 20:56

Sorry, I was a bit harsh. I was where you are, pregnant with no 2, due Xmas Day, she arrived on the 19th, complications with me meant me and baby had to stay in hospital until the 24th. I thought I had plenty of time to prepare before baby arrived but she caught me off guard I had some presents wrapped, no food in, a mountain of washing and a three year old. DH and my mum took over, I was only allowed home if I promised to not do much at all.
It was fine, the present wrapping by DH was an art form, 😆 . Honestly it'll be fine.

Original poster

sj257 · 13/12/2016 21:00

Ahh blonde that must have been stressful!! Glad it all worked out though. I just need to keep telling myself that this time in 2 weeks it will have been and gone! X

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3luckystars · 13/12/2016 21:05

Would it help to write down what you have gotten each child in a column with a cost beside each item. You may be shocked at what it all amounted to. Too much probably!
I say to my kids, if santa doesn't bring you what you want don't be disappointed i will get it for your birthday. Calms everyone down!

Warning if you write the list you must write it in code or you will get caught

P. S. No Christmas is "perfect " that not possible. So long as everyone is healthy, you got the world.

Original poster

sj257 · 13/12/2016 21:08

I've done the lists, can't believe what I've saw spent really as it doesn't seem much and they haven't even asked for a main present this year! That might be what's bothering me, every other year there has been a significant present! I feel bad as I think they haven't asked for one as they know the baby is coming and that makes me feel guilty!! Can you tell I over think everything?!

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Mindtrope · 13/12/2016 21:22

I am trying not to stress, but christmas is my busiest time work wise, and I have been working 60 hours a week for the past month. I have been ordering some stuff online and we have the tree up, but I still have a lot to do. I'll be hitting the shops early in the morning in the next couple of days.

Petalbird · 13/12/2016 21:29

Stressing here too first Christmas with the DSC (5 and 8) just want them to have a lovely time. Must go and check my 1000000 lists to make sure I haven't forgotten anything

Parker231 · 13/12/2016 21:30

You're 35 weeks pregnant? Why are you organized Christmas and not your DH?

Original poster

sj257 · 13/12/2016 21:39

Parker, he wouldn't have a clue where to start!

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