Aibu to be fucking furious?

[chocolatecakemakesmefat]

With ds nursery ? To put you all in the picture ds is 4 and goes to a Sen nursery he's come home with this bruise on his thigh just under his bum I've not been contacted and nothing wrote in his diary I'll be contacting them tomorrow about it but I find it a very strange place for him to get a bruise - also tried asking ds but he has poor understanding so didn't get much out of him

That's the exact spot you get a bruise from bashing it against a table, or chair.

What is wrong with all these "fucking furious/livid" posts at the moment. (and all connected to schools/nurseries/nativity plays)

Is it pre-Christmas stress disorder?

Btw, his bum must be in an odd place.

Yab highly u to be "fucking furious" before you even speak to the nursery.

^ this

Plus Bruises can take a while to appear.

I guess you are worried because he cant tell you what happened? Which makes him vulnerable?

Perhaps the colour is not done justice in the photo but it doesn't look like a very 'deep' bruise. The shape and location wouldn't cause concern of hitting etc. It looks like he may have knocked into something or sat on a toy. He may not have realised he had done it I have a big colourful bruise on my forearm and no clue how it got there, knowing me I banged into a door frame but I have no recollection of it.

Is there a back story? Some reason why you are so angry?

I agree with everything ilongforlustre has posted. I would have a quite word with nursery tomorrow and decide from there what you want to do.

Gosh I get bruises like that all the time that I can't even remember how they happened.

I got three large bruises on Friday - one with a big limp that I can feel. They're all painful to touch. One is showing a little bit, the other two can't be see yet - they'll be visible sometime this week.

That looks like a very superficial bruise- it looks quite light in colour. I am also confused that you said it was 'under his bum'- that would surely be on the back of the thigh? This is on the side. If they are changing nappies, they might not even see it, especially as it is light. Surely you don't expect them to check your child's whole body for bruising and note it all down? I would only expect them to note down any injuries that happened as a result of an accident at the nursery. That bruise suggests he walked into something, as PPs have said.

I often get bruises and haven't got a clue how I got them. A lot of people bruise quite easily- it could have been a very mild bump.

You should probably calm down a bit.

YABU I can't see any reason why that would be cause for concern unless what you're not saying is that he's confined to a wheelchair or something?

Meh it's just a bruise, get over it.

He could very easily have done it over the weekend and the bruise has just come out today.

Please don't assume the nursery have been negligent.

OP, I hope when you phone up the nursery to enquire about the bruise you don't react like a parent did whose child is in my SN class.

Namely, after taking the class on a wonderful day trip to the beach where the children played and explored and collected all sorts of special treasures to take back to their homes, said parent phoned the school because the child had not brought home her school bag (it was empty actually) and "where the fucking hell is she to put her playtime snack?" (We suggested he put the snack in a plastic bag and we would transfer it to her school bag when she arrived in the morning)

No "thanks for giving my child a wonderful experience today , she really enjoyed it and told me all about her adventures when she arrived home. By the way she has left her school bag at school, can you make sure she brings it home tomorrow".

Best thing, OP, is to speak calmly to the member of staff who answers, explain about the bruise, and ask for more information about what might have happened to cause it. Please don't be though, it is so offensive and unnecessary.

I'm a primary teacher and my legs look like that permanently (sort of!) from walking into furniture.

That bruise isn’t in a place that would cause any worries in a safeguarding sense. It looks like ones i often get when i walk into something. Sometimes i get massive bruises and don’t remember what i might have done to get them. If the nursery was changing your DS nappy he may have had that side placed away from them so they wouldn’t notice. I imagine they do it quickly and don’t linger over it. At the most i might be a bit curious as to what he did to get the bruise and i might ask the nursery if they can recall anything, but i wouldn't rush in and tell them that you are ‘fucking furious’ about it if you want to maintain a positive relationship with them.

Panic over I now except I'm bu he had another diary sheet belonging to a little girl in his class on top of his , it doesn't say he's hurt himself but he's been on the thinking chair again so looks like he's had another fight AGAIN

If this is DC1- YANBU as this is your PFB, but you do need to calm down!

If this is not DC1- YABU as you should know by now kids get bruises all the time!

I think once you've calmed down you'll realise you're being a bit irrational. It's unlikely your son has been assaulted and if injuries are normally reported by staff, then this one couldn't have caused him much upset, otherwise staff would have noticed.

It's natural to feel upset if you think your son has hurt himself but try not to transfer that to your son who may be distressed and confused by your reaction.

This is dc1 and he has several different disabilities including asd and issues with his joints etc I over react and I panic he is obviously my Pfb and I'm very over protective again because he has multiple disabilities and can't understand language etc so can't respond to questions we ask properly

Good job you noticed before you went in , guns blazing, tomorrow!

Glad the panic is over - but hopefully you will reflect on this. If you are generally happy with the nursery and the staff why would you suspect the worse?

I know I feel like a complete moron i can only put it down to having a rough time ATM with him In and out the children's hospital / struggling with time of year etc I'm exhausted with it all and haven't seen eye to eye with the nursery lately due to comments that were made by there psychologist a few weeks ago

Sorry to hear you have been having a hard time.

Can you meet with nursery to clear the air about the psych's comments?

Ah, don't be so hard on yourself - it must be tough

I have spoken to the nursery after a report came home where she had changed her tune completely after one of the meeting we've had about him , it's just tiring this nursery is also fairly new he was at a mainstream nursery before that couldn't cope at all with him so everything's just settling down ATM I just had a slight panic when I seen it

I agree, it sounds like you've had a difficult time. Perhaps arrange to speak to his key worker (or similar) about his psych assessment as there's no point stewing over that. It probably did affect your judgement in this situation.

It's big of you to admit you've made a mistake and overreacted , no one's perfect.

YABU for labeling the kids in the nursery "SEN kids". "SEN" doesn't define them.