My friend thinks I stole from her house I am staying in

[user1481556369]

This probably is not in the right section but I wanted several opinions.
I am staying with my friend due to leaving my abusive husband a month ago.
She is always at her boyfriends house 9/10.

Today she has asked me if I have seen her boyfriends expensive pair of vintage sunglasses which she apparently left on the window seal. I told her no and she said she defiantly left them there and they were there before I came.

I started thinking and thought maybe my cat may have knocked it off the window seal because she likes to sit there and several times I have had to fish her photos from the bin becuase my cat had knocked them in there.
She said no I would have noticed.

I offered to pay for them for her and she said its not about the money its about them being rare.

Now I can sense a vibe from her. I honestly have no idea where they are.

She knows I have money so I have no reason to steal, I am even lending her 5k so she can get plastic surgery and I she is obviously doing a big thing allowing me to stay in her house I would never steal from her but it does look suspicious considering she is claiming they were here before I got here.

How do I handle this?

get your own house, don't lend her the £5k

Use the 5k to move out.

Move out.

Don't lend her £5K use it to get yourself your own place.

What cherry said!

Do not lend her 5K!!!!!
That's plenty for a deposit and a few month's rent.

Do not lend her 5k. Use it to get your own place!

Yep agree, don't lend the 5k use it to set yourself up in a new place.

This question is not about the 5k, that is my choice and my decision and you do not know the back story of why I have to stay here.

I am asking how I deal with her accusing me of stealing when I have not.

I changed my name as well I am the op

This is awful to be accused. Years ago I was a Nanny and my employers wanted the previous Nanny to come back so they rang me one day to accuse me of stealing five pounds from the Dad's wallet. I didnt even see a wallet in the house and I'm no thief or liar. I was really upset A few minths lmonths later whlist I was out shopping I bumped into the Mother of the children and she saud she couldn't under stand why I hadn't kept in touch and that her children loved me and miss me a lot. I'll never understand some people. Still upsets me to think about it. Odd people.

Walk away. You are innocent.

Offering to pay for them makes you look guilty. I wouldn't offer if I knew I haven't done anything wrong.

Agree with the above. Use the 5k and move out.

Rethink the loan and move out ASAP.

agree with all of the above. use the 5k to get somewhere to stay.

You handle it by standing up for yourself and telling her in no uncertain terms that you didn't steal them. Don't offer to pay for them because that makes you look guilty.

I suspect you'll never see that £5K back if she's being off with you for no reason.

Vixx I understand that I also think when I said about my cat knocking them it makes me look guilty because it is a bizarre situation but I did not know what else to say, she was adamant she left them on the window seal.
This is a friend I have known all my life, basically family.

Why do you have to stay there? If you don't have a place of your own how can you afford to be lending someone 5k?

Just tell her you haven't seen the glasses and that's it.

I also doubt you will see that 5k again if she's so distrustful of you. I really can't see a better option than take the 5k and move out. You left an abusive relationship you need to feel safe not hounded.

My worry would be if there is a vibe and she doesn't believe you are you able to write off 5k if you fall out and she doesn't pay you back?

Also, if I had 5k kicking around I wouldn't be lending it to a 'friend' who was capable of thinking I was a thief. Are you sure you will get it back? Can she not set up a payment plan for her surgery.

I don't understand why you offered to pay for the glasses when you had nothing to do with their disappearance?

But mainly what everyone else said.

You have done amazingly well in escaping from one abusive relationship. Now use the 5K you have access to in order to untangle yourself from another one that looks as if it might be heading the same way?

I suspect she resents you being there. If you must lend the money do write down the repayment terms and both sign it. Agree with others that the money could be better used for your secure future than her cosmetic surgery.

If she thinks you are stealing then the arrangement isn't sustainable anyway so you would be much better off finding a new place asap on your own terms rather than giving her the money. Otherwise you could find yourself 5k down and kicked out with nowhere to go.

She may have thought you had borrowed them casually, not realising they were special. Now she's embarrassed she asked, you are embarrassed she asked... Can you clear the air? Write to her saying, I know you think I took them but I didn't. I don't want to leave but will have to if you really think I did this.

I offered to pay because she said they were here before I got here so I just blamed myself.
We were fine until today, she said her boyfriend mentioned the glasses to her yesterday asking if they were still at her house and that is what probed her to look today.

Why on earth would you lend her £5000 when you are in a difficult situation and could use that money to make a new start? It sounds like the friendship is strained so you could be left in an awkward situation if you fall out when she owes you money and you might be unable to get it back. Why not use it to move out instead?