My friend thinks I stole from her house I am staying in

[user1481556369]

This probably is not in the right section but I wanted several opinions.
I am staying with my friend due to leaving my abusive husband a month ago.
She is always at her boyfriends house 9/10.

Today she has asked me if I have seen her boyfriends expensive pair of vintage sunglasses which she apparently left on the window seal. I told her no and she said she defiantly left them there and they were there before I came.

I started thinking and thought maybe my cat may have knocked it off the window seal because she likes to sit there and several times I have had to fish her photos from the bin becuase my cat had knocked them in there.
She said no I would have noticed.

I offered to pay for them for her and she said its not about the money its about them being rare.

Now I can sense a vibe from her. I honestly have no idea where they are.

She knows I have money so I have no reason to steal, I am even lending her 5k so she can get plastic surgery and I she is obviously doing a big thing allowing me to stay in her house I would never steal from her but it does look suspicious considering she is claiming they were here before I got here.

How do I handle this?

You realise you will never, ever see that money again don't you? You are really mad to lend her it.

There's literally no reason for you to be staying there, if you have five grand floating around...

Chewie There's no need for that nastiness. This is someone's life.

OP: well done for managing to leave your H.

Bloody hell biscuit, calm down it's a joke.

Do you usually make sneering jokes about people when they're in a vulnerable state?

I know you said it's not about the 5k loan OP - but actually, it may well be. It looks to me that she's preparing the ground for a parting of the ways, or at least making you feel you can't ask where your repayments have gone.

Who the hell borrows 5k from a friend for plastic surgery? Who spends such a large amount of somebody else's money on such a non-essential?

Tell her how hurt you are at the accusation and how much you appreciate her letting you stay in her house, and would never do anything to sully her hospitality.

Ask her why she thinks you would steal from her, as if you wanted sunglasses, you could easily afford your own. It sounds as if there's something else going on here. If she doesn't trust you, why would she let you stay in the first place?

This is true, what type of person spends that much of someone else's money on a non essential item. The type of person who accuses their friend of stealing from them perhaps?

Be careful here OP, you have done a great job getting out of an abusive relationship, don't let yourself get sucked into a dysfunctional friendship.

You would be silly to lend someone who is as flakey as her any money. Give her some cash to cover your 'rent' but don't lend her anything. It would be a huge mistake.

Bore off Biscuit.

So have his sunglasses been on the window sill since August/September time? Seems a bit odd to me - maybe she doesn't want you there and it's a ruse to get you out sooner - don't lend her the money as most others have said ... she either wants you out, or she genuinely believes you've taken them - either way it's not a good start for a loan - don't do it