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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be exhausted and demotivated after only 4 months?

104 replies

RoonilWaslib · 12/12/2016 12:32

DP and I moved to London in August for me to start a new job, he was finishing his PhD.
My job is "well paid" at £38k a year and after DP finished his PhD he would find a job in his specialism.

I've calculated that the rent/bills we pay for a ROOM in our area is more than a mortgage/bills on a 2 bed flat, with the help to buy scheme.

We don't have a deposit yet, but obviously could afford a mortgage on a 2 bed flat, as we already pay that much each month in rent.

Problem is - we can't possibly save for a deposit, as the rent is so high.

I vastly underestimated how incredibly demotivating this would be, it feels like we are just treading water and will continue to do so for years and years and years.

Even scrimping and saving wherever we can is pennies compared to the money we need for a mortgage. (We need to find at least £30k for a 5% mortgage).

If we moved back to where my parents live, we could both get bog standard jobs, rent and save enough to buy in about a year. We would then be paying off a house, and probably still have more disposable income.

We stay in London because its the best bet for DPs career (I'm already at the top of mine, can't go any further) and in the long run, will probably mean we're better off, but not for another 5-6 years.

I'm feeling really downtrodden by the whole thing and I know IABU but I'm sick of throwing thousands a month into living in a houseshare and feeling like we never have quite enough money.

(before anyone gives me a bashing, I'm well aware that we are far better off than the majority of the world's population, please don't flame me too much)

OP posts:
YelloDraw · 12/12/2016 12:34

I've calculated that the rent/bills we pay for a ROOM in our area is more than a mortgage/bills on a 2 bed flat, with the help to buy scheme.

I highly doubt that.

Check your maths.

Rent + bills on a room in a shared house = £1k for a nice big room

YelloDraw · 12/12/2016 12:37

If we moved back to where my parents live, we could both get bog standard jobs, rent and save enough to buy in about a year. We would then be paying off a house, and probably still have more disposable income.

Why don't you do this then? What is one year out of DPs career?

Also why are you at the top of your career at such a young age? Time to make a sideways move into a better paying field?

rollonthesummer · 12/12/2016 12:37

You don't have to live in London to work there though. My DH works in London and we live an hour outside.

EmeliaHerveyHenryFitzroy · 12/12/2016 12:39

I won't give you a bashing, it sounds awful. London is extortionate and situations like yours occur so frequently. Sorry it's so relentless.

29redshoes · 12/12/2016 12:42

30k for a 5% mortgage? So you're looking to buy a 2 bed flat for 600k? That's crazy, what areas are you looking in? Even in London you could get a 2 bed flat for half that.

albertcampionscat · 12/12/2016 12:42

OK. There's a lot of London. Where do you work exactly?

GeekyWombat · 12/12/2016 12:42

We own a four bed house and commute 45 minutes into Central London on the train. The house cost us half what you seem to be looking to pay.

albertcampionscat · 12/12/2016 12:43

Because depending on that you could look at renting in Croydon or Norbury or ...

mouldycheesefan · 12/12/2016 12:46

If top of your field salary wise is £38k then consider options to move to a different field, the national average salary is £33k so a top at £5k more than national average is very low.
I think the advice to move out of London is good advice. Young people on average salaries in London cannot afford to buy property there. Everyone knows this surely? I would be looking to move elsewhere or you will always be broke on those wages in London.

scaryclown · 12/12/2016 12:48

Where i live ..over an hour from London, my mortgage is less than 1/3 the price of a one bedroom flat to rent, and less than half of a room rent, so it is possible!

juneau · 12/12/2016 12:52

You don't have to live in London to work there though.

I agree with this ^. You have a well-paying job in London and your DH is likely to get one in due course - so why are you cramming yourselves into one room and being miserable? Move further out, get yourself a little flat or house that doesn't eat up all your disposable income, and get saving. Or move back to where you came from. I'm a bit baffled as to why you made this move though if you do the latter. Did you not do the sums before moving?

Original poster
RoonilWaslib · 12/12/2016 12:52

Check your maths.

My maths is spot on.

We pay £1400 a month to rent a room.
We would pay £1100 a month in mortgage repayments on a 2 bed flat. We would let out the other room (for between £800-£1000pm) and that would more than cover utilities, council tax, ground rent etc.

We would be far better off owning a 2 bed flat (albeit with a lodger) then renting a room. Which in part is more expensive as we pay a couples surcharge.

Why don't you do this then? What is one year out of DPs career?
It would mean not pursuing his career - we could afford to buy in parent's area, not save for a deposit in London.

Also why are you at the top of your career at such a young age? Time to make a sideways move into a better paying field?
I'm a Nanny. There's only so far you can go with that.

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 12/12/2016 12:55

Is that what you're looking at?! £600K?!

I earn what you earn, my DH earns £50k and we've got £300k equity in our glide and we couldn't afford a property that much!!

Original poster
RoonilWaslib · 12/12/2016 12:55

You don't have to live in London to work there though. My DH works in London and we live an hour outside.

I work 10-12 hours a day. If we lived an hour away I'd be leaving the house a 6am and getting home at 8pm. Then I really would be demotivated!

OP posts:
mouldycheesefan · 12/12/2016 12:55

Well you are well paid for a nanny so kudos for that. Are there any nanny jobs where you and boyfriend could both live in? So saving on rent all together?
Why can't boyfriend do his job outside London?

29redshoes · 12/12/2016 12:55

OP I still don't understand your calculations.

Why are you looking to buy a property for 600K? And how will you get a mortgage for a property worth this much if your salary is only 38k? Unless your DH will be on megabucks after his phd?

Also, 38k is sadly not a "well paid" job in London Sad

lilyb84 · 12/12/2016 12:55

£1400 for a ROOM?! We pay £1075 for a whole one bed flat and could be paying more like £800-900 for a reasonably sized one-bed if we were somewhere a bit further out. Where are you? That seems incredibly high....

underneaththeash · 12/12/2016 12:58

You could earn a similar salary in the area I live (Beaconsfield/Gerrards Cross area).
There are plenty of cheaper areas around here that are significantly cheaper for housing, but that still allow easy access into London for your DP's job. High Wycombe for example. The you could save for a deposit and either move back to London or buy in this area.

Original poster
RoonilWaslib · 12/12/2016 12:58

rollonthesummer £600k will just about scrape to a 2 bed flat here. Anything cheaper is not affordable as we need to let out a bedroom.
We'd be buying with the government help to buy scheme.

Did you not do the sums before moving? I vastly underestimated how crap it would feel living in a extortinately priced houseshare tbh. The sums are the same as I predicted.

OP posts:
idontlikealdi · 12/12/2016 13:00

You need to look a bit further out, at that rent I assume you're in Zone 1? I commute from zone 4, takes 35 minutes, 3 bed house, nice area and it's worth 500k. Next door rent theirs out and it's £1300 pcm for a two bed with garden. £1400 for a room is just stupid.

EmeliaHerveyHenryFitzroy · 12/12/2016 13:00

RoonilWaslib nannies can go higher than £38k. - £45 isn't unheard of in some areas of London. Can you look to advance to a more lucrative position? Are you bi-lingual or free to travel with the family?

Anyway, you've probably already considered any advancement in nannying but might consult with a placement agency to see what might position you with a higher paid position. Good luck.

DailyFail1 · 12/12/2016 13:02

Until last month I used to keep a large double room in a houseshare within walking distance from Canary Wharf. Paid 750/mth inc my share of all bills. You are def paying more than you probably need to.

As for flats. It is possible to get 1-2 beds (not new builds) from 350-400k if you get in touch with a reputable estate agent. You need to move fast tho.

AliceInUnderpants · 12/12/2016 13:03

PP who said the average salary is 33k, is that true? I thought it was around 27k?

OP Did you miss the memo? London is expensive to live in and always has been. Surely you were aware of that before you both started looking at jobs in London?

DailyFail1 · 12/12/2016 13:03

Also is commuting in realistic? Many of my colleagues commute in from Bedford or Sevenoaks as properties+bills+commuting is cheaper than living and working in London

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 12/12/2016 13:04

Where are you looking to buy in London?

How long have you lived here? 4 months? London is a big place and takes a few years to understand. Any Londoner here will tell you you don't have to spend anything like £600k- why not get to know it a bit better and then decide?