This was posted elsewhere here recently and I thought it was very helpful. I'm not sure where it's from:
"This checklist will help you to take stock of the daily chores of family life and how you, as a couple, are coping with them. Indicate how you are handling each of the listed household tasks by labeling it with a 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5, as follows:
We’ve discussed the issue and have come to a comfortable decision about who should handle it.
We’ve fallen into a routine and it’s okay with me.
We’ve fallen into a routine and it’s not okay with me.
We are in the process of settling this point.
We are fighting about this issue.
In the area of household chores, are you comfortable with:
who makes the food shopping list?
who does the food shopping?
who does the meal preparation?
who purchases children’s clothing?
who organizes clothing for the next season?
who does the laundry?
who repairs clothing and sews on buttons?
who decides who will do what household chores?
who decides the acceptable standards for household order?
who waits for tradespeople (electrician, plumber, carpenter, etc.) to show up?
who balances the checkbook?
who prepares the taxes?
who decides how the house will be decorated?
who does the decorating (painting, wallpapering, picture hanging, etc.)?
who takes out the trash?
In the area of chores outside the house, are you comfortable with:
who looks after car maintenance?
who chooses the type of car the family drives?
who makes minor repairs (a broken screen door, a rusty hinge, a loose stair tread, etc.)?
who takes charge of whatever yard work needs to be done?
who fixes mechanical items around the house?
who talks with tradespeople about work that needs to be done?
who does house maintenance tasks (like cleaning gutters, painting, etc.)?
who cleans the garage?
In the area of child care chores, are you comfortable with:
who knows where everyone else is at a given time?
who finds the babysitter when you want to go out?
who has more undivided time with the kids?
who keeps track of when medical and dental appointments are needed?
who takes the children to the doctor, dentist, etc.?
who puts the children to bed?
who gets everyone up and out in the morning?
who oversees children’s chores?
who helps with homework?
who buys the children’s birthday and holiday presents?
who plans children’s parties and events?
who helps children buy presents for their friends?
who drives the children to lessons, friends’ houses, etc.?
who oversees the children’s hygiene?
who finds appropriate day care for young children?
who attends parent-teacher conferences?
who keeps in touch with teachers?
In the area of relationships with family and friends, are you comfortable with:
who writes letters or e-mails extended family?
who keeps track of extended family birthdays?
who buys gifts for extended family members?
who helps out when a family member or friend is ill?
who knows something about the families of children’s friends?
who arranges couple social events?
who makes sure that family friends get enough attention?
The more 1s and 2s on your list, the more likely it is that you and your spouse feel satisfied with yourselves and each other. As 3s, 4s, and 5s predominate, clearly there is more work to do!"