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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About niece & chicken pox

91 replies

Pogmella · 11/12/2016 19:42

Family dinner tonight, the main one where DH's DBs' families and our family see his parents. He has 3x DBs.

We have DC 11mo, also in attendance are 4 other DC aged 4mo to 5yrs. 5yo has had chicken pox in past.

BIL has a 6yo girl. Calls last night to say 'Mum said I had to tell you both, DD has just come out in chicken pox but we're coming anyway. Kids have to get it at some point so not sure what fuss is about'

Eventually, after various elderly relatives, ourselves and DH's brother (but only 1) dropped out, they decided to stay home. They're now whatsapping us pics of their DD looking sad saying she's sad we don't want to see her!! I know our DC will get the pox eventually but I'd rather not do it right now if I don't need to... Who is being stupid here? DH's mum is really upset

OP posts:

FireAndStrife · 11/12/2016 20:11

So glad my dc are immunised!

Worth considering OP?

Original poster

Pogmella · 11/12/2016 20:11

Apocalypse ha- just seen your post. DH is v. tempted!!

OP posts:

RatherBeRiding · 11/12/2016 20:19

You can't argue with stupid unfortunately! BIL is an idiot. You can get a mild case, or a child can get a very bad case and be quite poorly - just what you want for the Christmas period!

Sgtmajormummy · 11/12/2016 20:22

Are all the adults immune?
Chicken pox as an adult is awful. I got it at 23 from DN (6 at the time) and have never been so ill. It would also be extremely dangerous to come into contact with unprotected pregnant women.

Woeful behaviour on BIL's part.

SilentBatperson · 11/12/2016 20:22

They're absolute dickwits, especially knowing you have an 11 month old. Send something obnoxious back.

Lorelei76 · 11/12/2016 20:22

I had chicken pox 36 years ago
My parents still look upset when they remember how ill I was.

YANBU on any planet!!

LaContessaDiPlump · 11/12/2016 20:22

The problem with CP is that it is so variable; DS1 was 20mo and just a bit manic, while DS2 was 7mo and was covered. He couldn't coordinate his hands well enough to scratch though, which was nice having said that, he does still have a scar on his torso from a particularly deep scab (4.5 yo now). Also, elderly folk are at risk of shingles which is not fun AT ALL.

Your BIL is being a twunt.

FlappysMammyAndPopeInExile · 11/12/2016 20:23

It can be mild or dreadful when children get it - when elderly people catch the virus it presents as shingles - and trust me, that is BRUTAL!

Your BIL is being a tw@t.

FlappysMammyAndPopeInExile · 11/12/2016 20:24

Cross post *Contessa8. apologies.

RandomMess · 11/12/2016 20:27

Having to spend 2 days in hospital with my 11 month old DD when she caught the pox I would never deliberately expose young children to it!!!

AndNowItsSeven · 11/12/2016 20:27

Yanbu, however you can't catch shingles from chicken pox.

MarjorieSimpson · 11/12/2016 20:28

I have to say, I wouldnt have been bothered if my dcs had been over 2yo.
At 11montns old, I would probably would have thought about it twice.

Dc1 get chicken pox in nursery and very kindly gave it to more than half of the class. I was very uneasy and sorry that dc1 had spread it to the whole class.
All the parents I talked to had no issue with it and were in some ways relieved that was out of the way.

AndNowItsSeven · 11/12/2016 20:28

You can catch chicken pox from shingles though.

bostonkremekrazy · 11/12/2016 20:29

You cannot catch Shingles from someone with chickenpox......(you can catch chickenpox from someone with shingles)......people always always get that wrong!!! elderly people are not so in danger from children with chickenpox as people seem to think.

however I think your BIL was being an idiot - who wants chickenpox over Christmas?!!.....14 days away, if the children are going to catch it the christmas period is when it will present - then you are stuck indoors! YUK

PenguinsAreAce · 11/12/2016 20:29

Firstly YANBU

Pogmella it is not inevitable that they catch it eventually. Vaccines are available privately (e.g. Local travel clinics). It cost us about £120 in total for thto two doses per child. Money well spent. All other western countries vaccinate (Australia, Canada, USA etc). It is a vile disease.

Oh, and if they do catch it, never give ibuprofen for the fever. It is not well publicised, but can cause really nasty complications 😢

dementedpixie · 11/12/2016 20:29

Flappy , that's not true. You can't get shingles unless you have had chicken pox in the past as shingles is a reactivation of the chicken pox virus.

bostonkremekrazy · 11/12/2016 20:29

cross posts nowits7

Cheby · 11/12/2016 20:31

Your BIL is an arse.

DD got CP at 2, she was really fucking unwell. No hospital trip thankfully but she had blisters all over her vulva, was screaming in pain every time she did a wee, started withholding, would wet herself when she fell asleep (still in nappies) and then wake up screaming in agony.

Neither of us slept for more than 45 mins at a time for 3 nights. She wasn't itchy but she was in agony.

I would absolutely vaccinate if I had the chance to again, and as for knowingly exposing an 11mo baby 2 weeks before Christmas? Utter utter madness.

LaContessaDiPlump · 11/12/2016 20:31

I was under the impression that if you re-contracted CP as an older person it could manifest as shingles? Alternatively it can reactivate when you're older, presuming you had CP as a child.

Some info here: www.nhs.uk/conditions/shingles/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Original poster

Pogmella · 11/12/2016 20:38

Looking into the vaccine now. If it does happen would like it to be later on, does feel a bit young just in the first year. Also not over 1st Xmas would be quite nice! And some of those complications sound so dreadful, they'd be the guilty feeling ones if that happened.

OP posts:

Blatherskite · 11/12/2016 20:38

Both of mine got CP in their mouths and couldn't eat. They were sleepy and grotty and grumpy and generally very unwell.

That would make for a super-fun christmas day!

Your BIL is a twat.

MostlyColouringIn · 11/12/2016 20:38

I currently have DD1 in a right state with shocking pox, no way would i want her to have this on Christmas Day. She is utterly miserable! Funnily enough she has caught this delightful batch from a friends child who turned up at an event avec le pox!

Dawndonnaagain · 11/12/2016 20:39

I had dd2 in hospital with chicken pox when she was 18 months old. Anyone who says it's not serious is an absolute arse. Nobody knows in advance how their child is going to react to the virus. Your BIL is being an arse!

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen · 11/12/2016 20:42

I tell this 4 plus times a year
DN1 got chicken pox
Their mums, sisters in law, decided to let them play as it's best to just get it over with
DN1 is a married professional with a child
DN2 lives in assisted living and can nearly tell the time.
They are mid 20's

The sis in law who is mum to DN2 is now an alcoholic drug addict and blamed sil for the pox

I warned both of the,m that they shouldn't get the kids together as occasionally cp can be serious
DN1 was covered in spots
DN2 only got a few. But they were on her brain stem

It's the guilt that's shattered them.
Tell that tale to bil

RedKites · 11/12/2016 20:46

Just to add to everyone else's points, I was also under the impression that if you got CP before about a year old it is much more likely that the child will catch it again later on compared to if they catch it when they're a bit older.

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