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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's my birthday today and...

53 replies

Cashncarry · 17/02/2007 15:40

DD has conjunctivitis and tonsilitis
DH has "man-flu" and reckons he's broken a rib from coughing
He didn't organise anything for my birthday
He didn't buy me a card
He didn't buy me a present
He started watching the DVD I borrowed from the library last night when he couldn't sleep
Although I said I wanted a takeaway, he went shopping yesterday and bought enough food to feed a small country and has already made dinner (not my choice)
I haven't slept properly for a week because I've been up every night with DD
I spent last night tending to DH - made a bed on the floor for him, hot water bottle, hot toddy etc. but he still thinks I'm being unsympathetic

I know people don't know AIBU threads but I'm feeling incredibly sorry for myself and ended up having a row with DH over the whole thing. I think he thinks I'm ungrateful but I really just wanted a card and maybe a little cheap thoughtful present.

this is the eighth year I've had a crap birthday (we've been together eight years!).

So seriously, am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cashncarry · 17/02/2007 15:41

sorry I meant people don't like AIBU threads, of course!

OP posts:
fryalot · 17/02/2007 15:41

no, you're not being unreasonable.

Happy birthday

{{{{{hug}}}}}

Original poster
Cashncarry · 17/02/2007 15:43

aaaw thanks

I think I feel like I'm being horrible because he's ill but he went to work all week so had loads of time to get sorted!

He reckons he had a great plan but didn't have time to do it 'cos he got ill - yesterday

OP posts:
lulumama · 17/02/2007 15:44

well, hpoefully he will buy you a lovely card and present next week when he has recovered!! can someone come and help with DD so you can do something nice, maybe go to town and buy yourself a gift ?

happy birthday !!

Greensleeves · 17/02/2007 15:47

If he had time to go shopping, he could have done something even if it wasn't what he planned

I think some people just don't realise how hurtful it is.

Happy birthday from me, anyway.

AdelaideS · 17/02/2007 15:49

no, you're not being unreasonable, but some people are just crap at birthdays.
For my 30th (some years ago!) dh presented me with beans on toast for tea, I have since "taught" him how to do birthdays and mine are quite good now. Subtle hints are no good for these sort of people, and don't expect surprises, just tell him the sort of birthday you'd love and fingers crossed for next year.

might take a few years mind.

Original poster
Cashncarry · 17/02/2007 15:50

I hope so lulumama - he has a general allergy to buying cards and wrapping presents so we always have a battle over the fact that I think it's important [sigh]

Unfortunately, no family around and all my mates have kids so don't want to catch anything off mine

Just feeling a bit too sorry for myself 'cos DH and I had a long conversation about him making more of an effort in the "thoughtful" department!

Maybe I'm being a bit hard on him

Shall I go and make up?

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 17/02/2007 15:51

happy birthday

from this little guy

AdelaideS · 17/02/2007 15:51

.......once had to send him into Tescos with a tenner on the evening of my birthday...why ever am I still with him?
really though, he's very good at it now.

Original poster
Cashncarry · 17/02/2007 15:52

Do you know I really did spell it out this week what I wanted - takeaway dinner by candlelight, nice card with some thoughtful words that I could look whenever I felt down, maybe a massage....

I kind of feel like his "illness" (which I had last week) is a great excuse - I really am a horrid old bag sometimes

I'm veering wildly between making him suffer and making up....

OP posts:
AdelaideS · 17/02/2007 15:53

.......aaah, do make up, but re-iterate (sp?) that you're just SOOO disappointed.

and Happy Birthday, it's not over yet!

fireflyfairy2 · 17/02/2007 15:53

OOps that second one didn't turn out!!

Original poster
Cashncarry · 17/02/2007 15:55

pmsl at AdelaideS - God that's really spelling it out

Thanks for the birthday wishes guys - that is too cute firefly and I don't even like cats

Thanks Greensleeves - may I call you Greeny??

God, MN is great isn't it?

OP posts:
LowFatMilkshake · 17/02/2007 15:55

You are not being unreasonable.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, hope you get something your way by this evening.

((((hugs))))

and FWIW I like AIBU threads - they can either be silly or serious!

Greensleeves · 17/02/2007 15:56

Yes, call me Greeny by all means

And yes MN is great, when it isn't a PITA

Original poster
Cashncarry · 17/02/2007 15:58

Know what you mean Greeny - saw your post on the other thread yesterday and felt

However, it's got me grinning like a loon now 'cos all these new virtual mates are sending me good wishes - go figure!

OP posts:
Original poster
Cashncarry · 17/02/2007 15:59

oooh - more mates! Thanks LowFatMilkshake!

OP posts:
lulumama · 17/02/2007 16:01

why not get yourself a take away and a bottle o f wine anyway?

show him this thread

colditz · 17/02/2007 16:01

Haaaaaappy birthday to you
Put yer head down the loo
If you taste it don't waste it

Haaaaappppyyyyyyyyy birthday toooooo youuuuuuu!

colditz · 17/02/2007 16:02

Get yourself a takeaway delivery and sit and eat it in front of him.

Ifhe tries to get some smack his hand and say "Ohhhh no, you're poorly!"

Original poster
Cashncarry · 17/02/2007 16:03

pmsl at Colditz

Oh no lulumama - think of the waste

He's made chicken soup and kebabs both of which I've refused to eat

I'm starving

OP posts:
Original poster
Cashncarry · 17/02/2007 16:04

rofl at Colditz

you guys are mean but I like it

OP posts:
lulumama · 17/02/2007 16:06

it's yer birhday ! get the sodding take away ! freeze the soup and give kebabs to DH!!

LowFatMilkshake · 17/02/2007 16:08

Agree with Colditz, get your own takeaway and dont share! Also add bottle of wine of fav tipple and a large box of chocs or tub of ice cream for dessert.

Ill people cannot eat these items!

Write a gift tag:

"To Me, Happy Birthday, Lots of Love Me XX"

I am now in mind for a takeaway and will spend about half an hour badgering DH before resigning myself to making omlete pizza's as I promised - to use up the veggies in this weeks veg box

Original poster
Cashncarry · 17/02/2007 16:08

right - am off to order my pizza!

will make up with DH on condition that he makes it up to me next week

DD is waking up from her nap - she really is poorly, bless her little (pain in the arse) heart!

OP posts: