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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell him to piss off?!?

123 replies

SiblingsarePITA · 10/12/2016 00:32

Hello MNers,

I don't think IABU but I wanted to check as I have just had a baby and my judgement might be skewed slightly!

So I just had a baby a couple of weeks ago and we named her Sophie. My brother messaged me actually asking if we would consider changing her name because his precious fiancee who he has been with for 3 years has always loved that named and wanted it for her future daughter(!) So I obviously said no, this is a name that we have picked from the beginning of my pregnancy and we are in love with it ourselves. He has begged me to change it because apparently it is a deal breaker for her, she would consider ending the relationship over it...

That was 2 days ago, since then she has deleted me off all social media and has gone NC with me because she is upset that I have chosen 'her' name! Now, they have only just got engaged, they are young and who knows when they will have children and whether they would even have a girl and he wants me to change my daughters name on the off chance that they MIGHT have a girl and name her Sophie (who knows if she will even like the name by then!?)

Should I tell him to piss off along with her because of her stinky attitude or should I change it for the sake of my relationship with my little brother? As siblings we are all quite close and I don't want this to come between us... Plus now every time I say her name it has been tarnished with what has happened and I get upset just thinking about it, my brother has only come round once since to visit her whereas he has always been very good with my older two...

OP posts:
engineersthumb · 10/12/2016 06:48

Wow! YANBU. The social media nonsense can be ignored and if she does leave your DB he should and in the future will say thank you.

kissmethere · 10/12/2016 06:53

We've got a few of us in our family with the same name(big family) no one gives a shit about "stealing" a name.
I taje it she's not Irish then?
Yea they need to grow up and no I wouldn't change it.

Lweji · 10/12/2016 06:58

YANBU.

My sister named her eldest with the name I wanted for my eventual son.
I never said a word.
What if she never has a daughter or they end the relationship?
Regardless, choose whatever you want and they can name their baby the same if they wantm

Flowersonthewall · 10/12/2016 07:07

When we told my sil what potential names were which included the name of my unborn baby jane she said oh don't use that name as I know too many of them! As it is Dd is now named Jane and if sil is annoyed about it well she hasn't mentioned it again and just tough! Sils can be a little strange!

SquatBetty · 10/12/2016 07:10

I think I'd have laughed in his face tbh. That is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. Let's hope she does break up with your brother as she sounds very immature and very bonkers.

StealthPolarBear · 10/12/2016 07:15

Congratulations on your baby :o
Your actual baby, who needs a name now!

WellErrr · 10/12/2016 07:19

Wow, sounds almost unbelievable.

LindyHemming · 10/12/2016 07:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

carabos · 10/12/2016 07:27

Sniggering at Poubelle Wink.
This is hatgate all over again - it's not about the name...

SomethingLikeFlying · 10/12/2016 07:33

She can still use it if they have a girl.

hoopdeloop · 10/12/2016 07:33

Please give this to your SIL, my very first biscuit Biscuit

Call your daughter Sophie and ignore them! What happens if they only have boys and you changed your daughters name to Poubelle!

Fidelia · 10/12/2016 07:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DierdrePewtey · 10/12/2016 08:00

You should change your name to Sophie as well.

And your cat's as well

happychristmasbum · 10/12/2016 08:40

Yes this sounds like an excuse to split with your DB.

I would seriously ask him what he is going to do now she has shown him she is batshit and doesn't really care about him?

Congratulations Flowers

eggyface · 10/12/2016 08:49

Bonkers. It's not even as if the name is Grimelda or Gueniverette or Ysuelt or Unicornia...sophie/Sophia while being lovely names are I think the 2nd most popular of 2016 after Olivia. You can't reserve a name that everyone else has already got.

You can't reserve any name of course but I find it the more ironic that it's (beautiful but) standard.

eggyface · 10/12/2016 08:50

Ha euphemia poubelle is a much better example Smile

toptoe · 10/12/2016 08:54

You're doing your db a favour - it's showing him clearly what this person is like and if he doesn't heed the warning, then he will have plenty more rough times ahead. She should be congratulating you. Instead she is jealous and causing problems. Keep her at arms length and have absolutely nothing to do with her.

Original poster
SiblingsarePITA · 10/12/2016 09:01

Fidelia I think you might be right. The whole thing is so bizarre I can't help thinking that there is more to it than just a name. It's a control thing, she is seeing how much she can get away with and how much she can disrespect our family and my brother go along with it. Lol, can you tell we're Italian with the respect thing?!!

I think she wants him to move to where she is and is trying hard to convince him. These situations where it seems like I'm being the difficult sil plants doubt in his mind and not of the crazy fiancée but of his own family.

I really hope he sees sense and leaves her... I hope you're all right about their relationship but lasting. I just hope it happens before they get married!!

At first I didn't say anything harsh to my dB about how unreasonable she is being but when she started deleting me off society media her patheticness really shone through and I really told my brother my full opinion of her. The thing that bothers me most about this is that he can't see how utterly pathetic she is being and is instead making me out to the bad one in this, I don't get it...

OP posts:
ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 10/12/2016 09:02

hoop. I think the GF deserves this, actually.... Let's hope to God it is a deal-breaker, or your DB is on a fast-track to be emotionally manipulated for years...

AIBU to tell him to piss off?!?
BravoPanda · 10/12/2016 09:20

This exact same story was on Reddit the other day... Hmm

Empress13 · 10/12/2016 09:31

OK so what if you actually change name, they split up or just to spite you she doesn't use that name anyway ??

Complete and utter morons the pair of em.

Tell him to grow a pair (TBH he can't be that close to you if he would fall out with you over this!) and leave the pair of numpties to it!

Hope she has triplet boys LOOOL

oleoleoleole · 10/12/2016 09:56

I would ask why the can't also use Sophie when their time come See!

Original poster
SiblingsarePITA · 10/12/2016 11:52

bravopanda post the link here please, didn't realise there were so many crazy sils ...

OP posts:
WellErrr · 10/12/2016 13:23

Aye Bravo, I've reported it.

Soubriquet · 10/12/2016 13:37

Anyone else dying to read that Reddit link?

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