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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for the most bizarre advice you've been given after this gem from my mum (lighthearted)

343 replies

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 09/12/2016 19:22

I'm due baby no 2 in 5 weeks, I work in the hospital I'm giving birth in, and my mum also used to work there about 10 years ago.

I work closely with the chief executive in my job and am in the office next door. My mum has told me that when I go in to give birth, to get "star treatment" and a room of my own in postnatal, I should tell them that I work next door to the chief exec and they will give me what I want.

I actually giggled as I could imagine just how obnoxious I'd sound rolling in mid-contraction and saying "I work with the chief exec you know. What you gonna do with that information?" And then having midwives flocking round giving me pedicures and the like Grin

She is adamant she's right! I joked that he's universally disliked to they'd probably put me in the corridor if anything! Even if I did have the brass neck to say this, I really would rather a side room go to a woman who needs one, and although I'm a high-risk birth it probably wouldn't be me! I'd rather have one on the premise of actually needing one, not because of who I "know".

It inspired me to ask the members of MN for the most bizarre advice you've been given?

OP posts:
PhilODox · 09/12/2016 22:15

mysister prawns are also extremely high in cholesterol!
steamed fish instead of burger and fries, maybe. prawns? Nope!

user1475253854 · 09/12/2016 22:20

Bowie that's inspired! But yes, also evil... Poor DS2.

Pleasemrstweedie · 09/12/2016 22:21

Magnesium does actually work for cramps.

NancyDonahue · 09/12/2016 22:22

MIL when dd asked for milk after eating a satsuma 'No! It will curdle in your tummy and make you sick'.

idontlikealdi · 09/12/2016 22:25

There's too many to reply back to, this thread is brilliantGrin

SpookyPotato · 09/12/2016 22:32

My nanna told me to rub a gold coin on my wart to make it go.. All I got was a chaffed thumb Grin

Tangofandango · 09/12/2016 22:32

Eyre I don't know about soap but I was told to put a couple of corks in my bed to prevent cramp. I used to get it regularly but not had it at all since putting a cork in my bed. If you go to Portugal you'll find a lot of shops have barrels of corks for people to help themselves to, to get rid of cramp and headaches.

icyfront · 09/12/2016 22:35

SeamstressfromTreacleMineRoad – great name!

My mother was of the same persuasion. She was convinced that because she regularly consumed cod-liver oil, or somesuch, is the reason why her babies came out covered in a white greasy substance. And that’s also the reason why she had such easy births. Though that had nothing to do with whatever was used to knock her out when it came to the second stage. No good telling her otherwise – her “knowledge” was all there was to know.

I don’t think anyone’s yet mentioned the advice to not eat apple pips. That was because they’d grow in your stomach and come out of your nose. (Though apple pips do contain a small amount of arsenic, so best avoided.)

Witchend · 09/12/2016 22:37

When db moved into his first flat next to the hospital where he worked (single man aged about 25) then BT told him it would take up to 2 weeks to connect his phone. Dm was convinced if he told them he was a doctor they would come and do it straight away. When they did it after 10 days she was convinced that they'd seen his title as "Dr" on the bill so come to do it early.
I somewhat flattened the argument by pointing out "up to 2 weeks" meant less than 2 weeks or we have to apologise and possibly offer compensation. Plus when they'd said exactly the same to us (non-doctors) a couple of years previously they'd done it in 5 days.
Bless.

Jinxxx · 09/12/2016 22:39

Children only grow while they are asleep, according to my mother. So by allowing my sons to stay up late, I am "dooming"" them to be short. It apparently doesn't matter if daughters are short.

Crabbitstick · 09/12/2016 22:46

Isn't the no hairbwashing/period thing a throwback to when people didn't have showers so rinsing your hair in the bath water would be a bit yuck.

StStrattersOfMN · 09/12/2016 22:48

It's cyanide, icy.

I'm going to try the soap. I cannot, for the life of me, fathom out how it works, but I'm happy to try it. If Mumsnet says Vicks on feet for a cough actually works, then I'll go along with soap for bastarding restless legs.

Does soap contain magnesium then? And how does it travel from the bedsheets to your insides?

DMIL's sayings - never let your baby look upwards, or directly at a light. Can't remember why, I pissed myself laughing, then promptly forgot the why bit.

trinitybleu · 09/12/2016 22:49

fluffy I got the same advice for DD. To be fair it was from a Spanish friend whose daughter had the same issue and spent 4 days in hospital having tons of dairy, to break the allergy. Says it cured her ... I said I was happy to just keep buying dairy free, to be honest!

ItsALLAboutMeMeMeMeME · 09/12/2016 22:51

Some of these are hilarious. Great thread!

My mum was convinced fine hair would grow thicker if kept cut short, she robbed me of years of having long hair.

My gran's go to: put butter on it. Bumps, bruises, burns, acne, cradle cap, cat's paws - put butter on it. It was her solution for everything. My brother and I used to try and outdo each other with the most ridiculous scenarios.
Broke your leg - put butter on it
Chopped you head off - put butter on it
House burned down - put butter on it

tobee · 09/12/2016 23:00

Prawns might be high in cholesterol but they are low in saturated fat so don't have to be restricted in a low cholesterol diet. See the heart uk website, the cholesterol charity.

Shakey15000 · 09/12/2016 23:02

Oh sooooo many I could write a book.

It's a long running joke between my sister and I, that she is the Golden Child, that her and her husband can simply do no wrong and that me and DH are washed up alcoholics (because we might drink a bottle of wine over a weekend Hmm

We all had Christmas dinner there a couple of years ago. Eight of us in total including our DS. Her table seats 6. DH and I were sat at a little table to one side while dsis took the piss all dinner.

Add to that, when Dsis and BIL go for Sunday dinner they ALWAYS get pudding. Always. When it's DH and I there's nary a pudding in sight. Last time, there were pudding spoons, you know, at the top of the placemat? DH nudged me as if to say "Ooh look, we might get offered pudding!" Cue lots of nudging under the table in anticipation. But no. No pudding. DH shrugged and whispered "Ah well, at least we've progressed to spoons!"

Shakey15000 · 09/12/2016 23:09

She can also diagnose anybody with anything. Is the font of all wisdom when it's anything medical. I have double prolapse (bowel and bladder), of which I have explained many, many times to her. My previous surgery has failed and it looks like I'll probably need surgery again. Her answer?

DM- Just get them to whip it out
Me- Sorry, what?
DM- Get them to take it out. Much easier.
Me- Take what out? My bladder?? Bowel?
DM- Your womb!
Me- But there's nothing wrong with it?
DM- Isn't there? Oh well, get them to take it out anyway.

Head. Desk.

Liiinoo · 09/12/2016 23:10

If I'm buying anything reasonably pricey I always ask 'is that your best price?' It often works and I'll get a few £ off or some freebies thrown in.
I learned this when I worked in a very fancy pants store in the West End. We sold a lot of very upmarket cameras and pretty much expected customers to negotiate. Even when we couldn't drop the price (for instance the much loved Canon Sureshot, the point and shoot, compact, most lusted after camera of those halcyon days), we would always throw in a camera case , batteries and some free film/developing. When we got a customer dumb enough to pay full price for their purchase and all the accessories we would be laughing all the way to the pub.

And although that was a long time ago remains the principle remains the same. In the last few months I have bought settees, carpets, decorating services, some very nice earrings, insurance etc and have never lost money by negotiating.

Liiinoo · 09/12/2016 23:14

Sorry, my last post looks random but I was trying to stand up for the dad who tried to get a deal on an iPad. But his big mistake was to go to Currys. A small independent would have had to hold to the price but I bet he could have haggled a new case or a charger.

CarbeDiem · 09/12/2016 23:16

Some of these are hilarious.
My late dgm's little bit of medical genius - to treat tickly coughs, don't bother with shop bought chemical shite simply take a teaspoon, get a big dollop of butter or margarine (stork was most common) add a generous splash of vinegar and then dip the lot in sugar - force feed poor child with cough and Ta Da! cough is cured.

I wish she was here to tell her that the ONLY reason her potion worked was because we were fecking terrified to cough any more for fear that she'd give us more 'medicine'
The going out with/sleeping with wet hair has a small element of truth in it. Viruses can enter our bodies easier when our temperature is lower. So having wet hair would make us cooler and therefore more likely to catch colds and flu.
Exdp gran told me to drink pints of stout and guinness every day when pregnant. I simply told her I didn't like neither rather than explain.

Liiinoo · 09/12/2016 23:25

MY mum mocks me when I tell DDs to rub their eyes with a gold ring if the eyes are are sore or itchy saying that it is an old wives tale. All I know is that they are in their 20s and have never needed treatment for a stye or eye infection whereas my DB and myself were often at the doctors for such ailments, so thank you MIL for that piece of advice.

OTH when DDs were 6/9ish (known as the head lice years), my MIL told me that blow drying hair would kill off the lice and eggs. If only.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/12/2016 23:39

I was a pretty good singer, as a teenager, and had lessons throughout my teens. If I got a cold, I couldn't sing, so mum decided that the best way to prevent me getting colds in the winter was to make me gargle with TCP.

Every day I had to make up a 5 parts water to 1 part TCP solution, gargle with it, and drink the last 5mls. It was utterly vile. And I still got colds.

marciagetscreamed · 09/12/2016 23:46

My friend's DM maintains that wearing knickers to bed is what causes cellulite.
*
*
Grin now I know! It's not because of my lack of exercise and poor diet! It's my knickers! Hurrah!

Rabidu · 09/12/2016 23:50

Not really advice but when I was younger my dsis told me that you need to fart at least 10 times a day or the gasses will build up in you an you'l explode.
I used to lie awake at night counting how many times I'd farted that day, an force a few out afraid that I'd spontaneously combust in my sleep!

Dawndonnaagain · 09/12/2016 23:52

The going out with/sleeping with wet hair has a small element of truth in it. Viruses can enter our bodies easier when our temperature is lower. So having wet hair would make us cooler and therefore more likely to catch colds and flu.
It's because our nasal passages, where a virus is most likely to enter, are colder than our core temperature, so in fact having wet hair makes no odds.