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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for the most bizarre advice you've been given after this gem from my mum (lighthearted)

343 replies

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 09/12/2016 19:22

I'm due baby no 2 in 5 weeks, I work in the hospital I'm giving birth in, and my mum also used to work there about 10 years ago.

I work closely with the chief executive in my job and am in the office next door. My mum has told me that when I go in to give birth, to get "star treatment" and a room of my own in postnatal, I should tell them that I work next door to the chief exec and they will give me what I want.

I actually giggled as I could imagine just how obnoxious I'd sound rolling in mid-contraction and saying "I work with the chief exec you know. What you gonna do with that information?" And then having midwives flocking round giving me pedicures and the like Grin

She is adamant she's right! I joked that he's universally disliked to they'd probably put me in the corridor if anything! Even if I did have the brass neck to say this, I really would rather a side room go to a woman who needs one, and although I'm a high-risk birth it probably wouldn't be me! I'd rather have one on the premise of actually needing one, not because of who I "know".

It inspired me to ask the members of MN for the most bizarre advice you've been given?

OP posts:
IggyPopsicle · 12/12/2016 00:47

"Once a bad lad, always a bad lad.."

Said about my DP on numerous occasions by an elderly relative. In normal circumstances, I'd agree...but not when you base your judgement of a 35 yo dentist on how often he played truant at 15, FFS Confused

VanellopeVonSchweetz99 · 12/12/2016 11:46

"The English invented Easter" (ex colleague)
"Sitting on concrete will give you a bladder infection" (DGM)
"Picking scabs can give you cancer" (DM)

zukiecat · 12/12/2016 14:36

uglyswan

I love the idea of The Wild Hunt stealing knickers!

Mine and DDs knickers did get pinched off the line once, but it was in the summer

I thought it was a pervert but now I know better' Grin

TinselTwins · 12/12/2016 20:41

"Picking scabs can give you cancer" (DM)

if repeatedly picking it causes a scar: there is a type of cancer which affects old scar tissue

ThisUsernameIsAvailable · 12/12/2016 23:44

That breastfeeding my baby for too long would "make him into one of those teenagers that set fire to bus stops" so better to put him on formula now.

I breastfed him until he was 2,he's 15 now and hasn't set any bus stops on fire as far as I know Confused

VonHerrBurton · 13/12/2016 00:58

I work with a woman from Russia. She is extremely bright academically but her English needs improving so she works with us voluntarily. She has a 3 year old son who is experiencing developmental delays and doctors have strongly hinted at autistic spectrum. She is finding this time stressful and extremely difficult with the language barrier and knowing where to start in the UK with getting him help.

The cleaner here who claims to be 'psychic' says, with monotonous regularity again and again each day that it's because he's hearing two languages and that's why he won't 'ever get on' Hmm

blitheringbuzzards1234 · 13/12/2016 09:47

Here's a cure for anyone who suffers from itchy unbroken chilblains - Mum always said (with a coy chuckle) that you should 'wee-wee' on them. She never said whether you should rinse it off afterwards or um, let it dry.

After years of suffering from these I must admit that I was desperate enough to try it - and IT WORKS!

I've never suffered with them since - that and wearing more substantial socks/shoes when the weather gets colder.

FlappysMammyAndPopeInExile · 13/12/2016 13:07

I breastfed him until he was 2,he's 15 now and hasn't set any bus stops on fire as far as I know

He's got four years to fulfil his arsonist potential yet, UsernameGrin

purplebunny2012 · 13/12/2016 20:24

My mother blamed her shingles on my chicken pox! Typical

purplebunny2012 · 13/12/2016 20:54

StStrattersOfMN my mum's colleague became a surrogate about 3 years ago and was apparently told the same about smoking. I don't know how many she smoked a day, but I would not have paid a smoker to carry my foetus! She also got a year's maternity leavce, but that's another issue

StStrattersOfMN · 13/12/2016 22:07

BIimey purple, there's no way I'd have tolerated that. Shock

honeylulu · 13/12/2016 22:28

My mum told me not to start wearing tracksuit bottoms around the house once I'd had a baby because it's a slippery slope to letting yourself go and my husband would then leave.
I do. And he hasn't. (Together nearly 22 years.)

spankhurst · 13/12/2016 22:32

Don't smell dandelions, they make you wee.
Cutting your hair allows oxygen up the hair shaft which makes it grow faster.

VilootShesCute · 13/12/2016 22:37

Don't let your baby laugh too much it'll have a seizure.

MumW · 13/12/2016 22:51

I used to get excruciating leg cramps as the result of a slipped disc. My gp suggested that I try drinking tonic water before going to bed. She also suggested massaging my legs with warmed oil in upwards sweeps, starting at the foot and working upwards as it helped with circulation/fluid retention/removing toxins from the muscles The important thing was to do it after you were in bed and not to get back up again otherwise gravity negated the benefits and you had to start again

I think the massage did help a bit as I got less episodes when I did this regularly.

The soap thing is intriguing as I can't see how it would work unless it's a placebo effect or the lumpiness causes you to fidget more in bed and it's the additional movement that does the trick.

Having said that, if it works for you then who the hell cares why it works. Night cramps are the pits.

StStrattersOfMN · 13/12/2016 23:10

Tonic water is for the quinine, I think it's in too low quantities to help though.

Thank you, you've reminded me to pick up some soap tomorrow. I'll report back on its success.

Dowser · 14/12/2016 00:05

Smeggnogg
I've never used a cash machine in my life.
I'm ancient though...nearly 65

I just carry cash.

Dowser · 14/12/2016 00:13

I was hospitalised in 1982 with pneumonia for two weeks. I went to use the hospital trolley phone in the day room, opened the door and the fug of smoke hit my infected lungs...omg I thought I was going to die there and then ( and join the other 6 that died while I was in )
Thank god they stopped smoking in hospitals.

Janey50 · 14/12/2016 00:55

purplebunny - that reminded me of when my DD had chicken pox when she was nine,24 years ago. My DM wouldn't let us visit for the duration of the illness,as she was adamant that she would get shingles from being in contact with her. I could not convince her that shingles was not caught from someone else with chicken pox (although it chicken pox CAN be caught from shingles) but was activated by the chicken pox virus in your OWN body,when you were run down. My mum had had chicken years before (at the age of FORTY SEVEN Shock but that's another story).

salsmum · 14/12/2016 01:25

My MIL used to say that as soon as a baby is born they are 'artful' and should be left to cry and as soon as day one held on a potty where they will 'learn' to go ..... more of her advice included that if a toddler bit you you should bite them back.....apparently she thought Dr Spock (the baby one) had good ideas ConfusedI wonder if that's where she got her mad ideas from that I did NOT follow?

Araminta99 · 14/12/2016 04:13

MerylPeril about the kids staying up late so they will sleep through the night... it worked for me! I gave that advice to my friend and it works for her too!

Thinkingblonde · 14/12/2016 08:13

I can't eat oranges if I have milk. It makes me vomit.
I once did the sliver of soap up my babies rectum when she was constipated, it really works. You don't shove a whole bar up, you cut a tiny piece off, work into a torpedolike shape and gently push it in. Then wait for the results.
Pears soap worked best.

FromIbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 14/12/2016 08:44

When DD was about a year old DP fed her a yogurt and some satsuma pieces one evening after dinner.

16 years on I can still recall the smell and sight of her vomit that night. Horrendous, sour, curdled vomit.

Needless to say neither of our DC have ever had that combination again

Thinkingblonde · 14/12/2016 08:53

My 18 month old granddaughter suffers from silent reflux, she also has a milk allergy so is dairy free. She has oat milk instead of cows milk now but even so a combo of oranges and the oat milk causes a terrible reflux episode.

Dowser · 14/12/2016 09:13

Pears soap contains glycerin and some suppositories contain glycerin.