to ask for the most bizarre advice you've been given after this gem from my mum (lighthearted)

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

I'm due baby no 2 in 5 weeks, I work in the hospital I'm giving birth in, and my mum also used to work there about 10 years ago.

I work closely with the chief executive in my job and am in the office next door. My mum has told me that when I go in to give birth, to get "star treatment" and a room of my own in postnatal, I should tell them that I work next door to the chief exec and they will give me what I want.

I actually giggled as I could imagine just how obnoxious I'd sound rolling in mid-contraction and saying "I work with the chief exec you know. What you gonna do with that information?" And then having midwives flocking round giving me pedicures and the like

She is adamant she's right! I joked that he's universally disliked to they'd probably put me in the corridor if anything! Even if I did have the brass neck to say this, I really would rather a side room go to a woman who needs one, and although I'm a high-risk birth it probably wouldn't be me! I'd rather have one on the premise of actually needing one, not because of who I "know".

It inspired me to ask the members of MN for the most bizarre advice you've been given?

My Gran used to tell me to stop letting the dog lick my toes because "the bad will get into your bloodstream, go up to your face and give you spots."

Myself and DH went away for a weekend when I was heavily pregnant with DD, leaving DS with my parents. As we were leaving, my DM took me to one side and told me to "have a nice time, but don't go messing about". Er, a bit late for that, I think...

Never eat more than two grapes at a time because you'll "poison your system"

Another pearl of wisdom from my mother

Regarding the iron in Guinness- wasn't that a marketing ploy from the manufacturers? I'm sure I read somewhere that there is hardly any iron in Guinness.

My now ex mother out law was to put it politely a cold hearted bitch.
My little boy suffered brain damage at birth due to hospital negligence. He had no heartbeat for 31 mins it was a terrible traumatic time.
On our first visit to see them as they lived 200 miles away she informed me it was all my fault he suffered this because we had got him a green pram and I had worn my green coat to the hospital when I went it!!

NapQueen Your dad's not wrong, you just have to ask. Bought a £2.5k camera a month ago, small independent shop, paid cash, got £185 off plus around £150 of extras thrown in.

NancyDonahue That's true for some people. I can't eat citrus fruit or dairy together or I bring it all back up and it is most definitely curdled! I love pink grapefruit and natural yoghurt but it is no worth it!

My SIL was told by her mum that there was no need for the pill while she was breast feeding her first baby as she couldn't get pregnant while she was feeding! Ha bloody ha. So she had two daughters in very quick succession. Explain that one mother.

As a teen, my equally flat chested friend told me if we wear a bigger cup bra, our boobs would grow into them.

SnowBallsAreHere, clearly the cast of St Elmo's Fire also believe drafts KILL. Here's Jules about to freeze to death any moment due to the killer draft

My mum will only use the cash machines for her particular bank, because the other ones can't be trusted.

From my parents: Anyone in authority is always right, because if they weren't they wouldn't be in authority.

Bless.

They relaxed this view a bit when Tony Blair got into power, but the idea of Savile and other celebs being abusers has really rattled them.

Yes, of course your knickers are reflected in your patent leather shoes (our headmistress said this, so it must be right). No, sitting on radiators doesn't give you piles, but sitting on stone steps does (cheers, mother, for that one). Yes, the Guinness a day is true - we were given a bottle every evening on the NHS in hospital in the 80s, but only if breastfeeding. I was also offered a cigarette with my cup of tea in the delivery room immediately after giving birth.

My grandma insisted that if you sat on a newspaper you wouldn't feel carsick. I'm mortified to say I found myself advising a 50+ bus driver to sit on the Metro the other night.

My mum insists that my 2-year-old's teeth don't need brushing. She says the only reason we brush them is to get them in a routine; they don't need brushing as they fall out anyway. It makes me scream silently when she puts him to bed at her house after eating all the usual chocolate and sweets that she feeds him without brushing them, and I'm watching on Skype

Sleepingonthebus - this is exactly like my Fil. He says you cannot get money from a bank that's not your own. I explained about Link machines but he is convinced Link is a special type of card.

Mil won't even use them. She gets cash back from supermarkets or goes into her bank.

They're only 60. Hardly ancient.

I was in PC world with my Grandad when he tried to buy a laptop "for cash" once too and argued when no discount was forthcoming. Beyond embarrassing.

If you eat dairy products and then bring them back up they'll be curdled with or without the addition of citrus. The stomach produces hydrochloric acid and, if that weren't enough to do it, also an enzyme called rennin which curdles dairy.

Last one, when I was born my GM told my DM not to put my poo from my nappy in the fire because it will give me constipation. Why would you put shit on a roaring coal fire anyway?

I don't know what sort of hospital you gave birth in in the 80s . I had my DS in 1980 and my DDs i 84 and 87.

I breast fed all mine but no one offered me any Guinness, and smoking was not allowed in the hospital anywhere, let alone on the maternity ward.

It was well known by the 80's that smoking, drinking alcohol, pregnancy and child birth did not go together.

My post above was aimed at Daisymaybe60.

"My mum will only use the cash machines for her particular bank, because the other ones can't be trusted."

Yes my parents won't do online banking as they 'don't want our private money matters on the Internet for all to see and hackers to mess with' no amount of discussion will persuade them

A their bank will have computerised records of theirs anyway and that's possibly online too

B that there's security for such information

C that the fact that hackers need to hack is proof it's not openly available 'for all to see'

They live in the sticks and bank particularly hard to get to (they've been with same bank 40+ years and also believe in banks being loyal to long term customers so won't change - I know whole other discussion!) and they still operate mostly in cash. Except where dd gets them a discount and even THAT took some persuasion from self and siblings.

I swear if they weren't just as paranoid about fire they'd have it all under the mattress!

DMum advised that wiping DD1's head with her wet nappy would cure her cradle cap. I didn't try it - I preferred the olive oil approach suggested by my HV.

DGran would go ballistic if any of my siblings held their children up to the mirror. Apparently showing a baby their reflection would allow the devil to take their soul. DGran had passed away by the time DD2 was born but would probably insist that her wild teenage behaviour was due to her being partial to the mirror as a baby.

They both also had issues with scissors on Sunday, shoes on tables, laundry at new year and believed that a liberal application of Lourdes water could cure everything from exam stress to gangrene.

Dancing when pregnant will cause a miscarriage.
Not actually my mum who said this, but a woman who was telling others it was her friends only fault she had had a miscarriage, as she had been dancing when pregnant.

Brasty what a nasty woman!! I've lost 3 babies if I found out a friend of mine did this I'd be both heartbroken and livid!

Yes it was horrible. What was worse was the other women there were agreeing. It was about 35 years ago, so I would hope no one these days would say something so awful.

Jesus! How horrible