to ask for the most bizarre advice you've been given after this gem from my mum (lighthearted)

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

I'm due baby no 2 in 5 weeks, I work in the hospital I'm giving birth in, and my mum also used to work there about 10 years ago.

I work closely with the chief executive in my job and am in the office next door. My mum has told me that when I go in to give birth, to get "star treatment" and a room of my own in postnatal, I should tell them that I work next door to the chief exec and they will give me what I want.

I actually giggled as I could imagine just how obnoxious I'd sound rolling in mid-contraction and saying "I work with the chief exec you know. What you gonna do with that information?" And then having midwives flocking round giving me pedicures and the like

She is adamant she's right! I joked that he's universally disliked to they'd probably put me in the corridor if anything! Even if I did have the brass neck to say this, I really would rather a side room go to a woman who needs one, and although I'm a high-risk birth it probably wouldn't be me! I'd rather have one on the premise of actually needing one, not because of who I "know".

It inspired me to ask the members of MN for the most bizarre advice you've been given?

Tjere is something in the not eating bread from the oven, very fresh bread gives me horrendous cramps.
It doesn't happen to everyone though.

My nan told me that sitting with your back to the fire causes toothache.
I was also made to eat veg that was boiled to death and had bicarb added to it, just for good measure. The bicarb destroyed all the vitamins, but when I pointed that out I was told the veg would be impossible to eat because it wasn't cooked enough! To this day I hate veg, especially sprouts. Eughhh!

My grandmother lived to 97 and attributed her long life to Guinness.

One small bottle a week.

"As soon as she can hold her head up sit her on the potty and tie her to a table leg. To get used to it. "

My Aunt. No, I didn't.

Sitting on concrete gives you piles.
One butters the cat's feet after he has been away or when you first acquire him. Licking the butter reminds him that your house is a good place to live. I am an American, but the latter is common belief among Swamp Yankees. We mostly came from East Anglia four centuries ago.

My gran used to say about buttering a cat's feet if you'd moved house. She was from Italy though.

My grandmother lived to 97 and attributed her long life to Guinness

My aunt gave her horse a Guiness every week. Lived to be 41, which is ancient for a horse. Maybe there's some truth in this...!

Elizabeth

I've always buttered a cats paws, I was told that the nice taste of the butter makes them associate it with a new house. Can't leave the butter out though, they'd eat it all!

AdmiralCissyMary

Whilst she's not right, depending on how old she is it was probably true when she was younger. The very first flu vaccines (30s and 40s and then some experimental ones later on) did contain a tiny amount of the live vaccine and could give the flu to immunocompromised people.

Not the one we have now though - nothing to worry about there!

My DM has this corker: do not, under any circumstances, touch the skin between your top lip and your nose or you will grow a mustache.

But this is the woman who had me pushing my nose up to be sure it was 'french' rather than 'roman', curving my middle finger over my index one to straighten it out, and never, ever jumping without a bra on to make sure I didn't make my breasts droopy.

ElizabethHoney

Didn't doctors used to prescribe Guinness to pregnant women as well? Something to do with the iron, I think.

Sadly I was never pregnant as we adopted, but I stuck to that recommendation anyway. For health reasons, of course...

Guinness is good for iron deficiency, I have ridiculously low iron and hate the stuff but a small drink works!

My MiL has some gems.

"never lean back in a cinema seat as you'll get nits"
(She's never ever been swimming either because she believes everyone catches verrucas).

When BIL and his girlfriend got unexpectedly pregnant in 2006 (BIL was living on a canal boat at the time) MIL insisted that the council HAD to give them a house as if was the LAW. She was adamant.
Of course they never got one.

My own Grandma was hilarious. Not advice really, but she always told us that she didn't have to indicate when driving as she was 'local'

I was given Guinness in hospital in the 1970s

Chicken pox and shingles one ALMOST right

www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2585.aspx?CategoryID=200

Stout is a good way to get iron as is any dietary source it's more easily absorbed and less likely to cause constipation than tablets.

The SMALL amount of alcohol = Longevity quite a few studies support this, they can't agree on WHICH alcohol though (dark spirits, clear spirits, red wine or white? We'll have to continue experimenting ) seems particularly true in colder climates.

My DGM once spotted me attempting to do the splits when I was about 11 and advised me never to do that as I wouldn't be able to have children.

I'm happy to nominate myself to try all the different alcohol. You know, for science.

MIL saw how frequently I was br feeding DC and advised topping him up with tinned Carnation milk because "it keeps them full for longer". More info followed: it was apparently the ONLY milk her 4 DCs inc my DH had as babies...

I tried egg white on babies bottom for nappy rash 6 years ago - nothing else helped. Actually neither did the egg white! Was very messy too!

Oh god, where to start? From M-I-L's and suchlike

• "Microwaves give you cancer" (because they are radioactive)
• "You can't get pregnant if your boyfriend has had a hand shandy immediately prior to DTD"
• "Put on an old pair of socks over your shoes when it's icy outside" (it increases the grip, apparently)

My mother was told by her doctor to drink a small glass of Guinness every night while she was pregnant with me as she was underweight and anaemic. My Dad used to finish the large bottle for her